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3 guys went 2 a baseball game. and 3 nuns with big hats sat down in front of them.so the guys decided 2 make fun of them. the 1st guy said " i'm gonna go 2 texas ther r only 50 nuns ther". then the 2nd guy said "i'm gonna go 2 california ther r only 15 nuns ther". then the 3rd guy said 'i'm gonna go 2 flordia ther r only 5 nuns ther". so then 1 of the nuns turn around and say " go 2 Hell. ther r NO nuns ther."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-25 11:12:50 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

11 answers

um... ya.
NE 1 like blonde jokes?
hope these dont offend any blondes out there!!!

1 Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"

The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"

They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.



2 A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table.

The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed children's jigsaw puzzle. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"

The blonde who brought in the picture explains, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together.

"The side of the box said 2 to 4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"



3 This (Blonde) fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws.

The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of- the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day."

So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself.

So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords.

The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself.

The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine."

Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise?

2006-08-25 11:29:30 · answer #1 · answered by sunny d 2 · 0 1

On a scale of 1 to 10 i rate it a 6.

Joke:

What is the difference between BMW and a porcupine?

With the porcupine the pricks are on the outside.

2006-08-25 18:16:59 · answer #2 · answered by Keith Perry 6 · 1 0

I give you 5 stars but not until I give you back the favor.

Inside the parochial garden a priest saw a peasant girl on top a tree..yelled out to her and said, "come on down little girl and here's a penny buy yerself a panty." So girl went home and told peasant mom about the generous priest. Mom hurried back to the garden, climbed the tree and waited for the priest. Priest came and saw mom on top of the tree..yelled out to her and said, "come on down sister and here's a scissor...give yerself a trim."

..I think I deserve my 5 stars back. Tnx

2006-08-25 18:27:11 · answer #3 · answered by Henr 2 · 0 1

lol 9/10 i loved it! heres a joke...the moral is the funniest part but u have to read the whole thing.

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me: Her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini-skirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight toward my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in the car.

2006-08-25 18:28:50 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ HeartStolen ♥ 2 · 0 1

lol i liked that one. i give it a 8 out of 10. just cause if they were nuns then they werent supposed to say the word "hell"

2006-08-25 18:17:13 · answer #5 · answered by la_gurl 5 · 0 1

NOT FUNNY-- So, this grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey grasshopper, we got a drink named after you." And the grasshopper replies, "Oh yeah? You really got a drink named Steve?"

2006-08-25 18:18:51 · answer #6 · answered by El Duderino 6 · 0 1

okay... not funny at all. Way too predictable. I was gonna tell you a joke back, but i'm not in the mood anymore.

2006-08-25 18:16:26 · answer #7 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 1 0

good. a man is showing his daughter photos of family when he showed her the last one and said this is mummy and daddy on our wedding day, the little girl replied is that when she started working for you.

2006-08-25 18:21:09 · answer #8 · answered by Jo -Jo 2 · 0 1

haha funny

2006-08-25 18:15:39 · answer #9 · answered by iiTz DiiPset 5 2 · 0 1

I didn't get it.

2006-08-25 18:18:02 · answer #10 · answered by niles25_14 5 · 1 0

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