A father goes into his 17 y/o daughter looking for something and sees this huge dildo in her bed. Confused, he waits for her to get home for an explanation. When she arrives, he tells her: " I found this toy in your room and i wan´t an explanation". The girl tells him: "Daddy, since i was a little kid you have taught me to be a responsible person, so i decided that instead of having a boyfriend i will have this. My dildo will not get me pregnant, won´t cheat on me, will pleasure me whenever i wan´t without having to suck it and won´t give me an STD, so he is my boyfriend". The father, stunned, says "from that point of view i guess it´s ok" and leaves her in her room. A week after, the girl comes home and finds his dad punch drunk with a glass of whiskey in one hand and her dildo in the other. She asks "What the hell are you doing?", and he says, "Can´t a man have a few drinks with his son-in-law"?
2006-08-25 10:25:00 · 14 answers · asked by camp1971 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I like it! I give it a 8.6.
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Here's mine...
Mrs. B, a school teacher, was turning 31. Her students all decided to throw her a party.
"What a great party!" she says.
Then it was time to give her her presents.
First, Mary, the daughter of the local candy shop owner, gives her a box.
"You'll never guess what it is!" she said.
"Hmm," says Mrs. B "Candy?"
"Yes! How did you guess?" she said.
Next, Ricky, the florist's son, gave her a box.
"You'll never guess what it is!" he said.
"Hmm," says Mrs. B "Flowers?"
"Yes! How did you guess?" he said.
It went on like this for a while.
Then, Timmy, the son of the owner of the liquor shop, gave her a box. It had a yellow liquid dripping off a corner.
"You'll never guess what it is!" he said.
Mrs. B tasted a tiny drop of liquid.
"Hmm," says Mrs. B "Beer?"
"No," he said.
Once again, Mrs. B tasted a tiny drop of liquid.
"Wine?" she asked.
"Noo," he said.
Mrs. B tasted another tiny drop of liquid.
"Champagne?" she asked.
"Nooo!" he said.
"Then what is it?" she asked.
"A puppy!" he exclaimed.
2006-08-25 11:00:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny but kinda sick too... ha ha ha
7/10. Speaking of Dildo's Here's mine:
A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of an erotic sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily hobbles the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks the sales clerk: "Ddddooo youuuu hhhave ddddildosss?"
The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many models."
The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu hhhave aaa pppinkk one, tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo inchesss thththiiickkk?"
The clerk responds, "Yes we do".
"Ccccccannnn yyyyouuuu tttelll mmmmeeee howwww ttttoooo ttturrrnnn ttthe ffuucccckkkkinggg ttthingggg offffff?"
2006-08-25 10:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
((this is a school where girls wear skirts and guys wear pants))
One day afterschool, a group of guys tolded a girl if she climbs up a flagpole, he'll give her $1. Then the girl said,"Sure." When she got home, her mom asked her,"Where'd you get $1 from?" The girl explained to her mom what happened afterschool and her mom said, "DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN, THEY JUST WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR UNDERWEAR!"
The next day afterschool, the same guys asked her to do it again, but this time for $5. She ignored her mom and said yes. When she went home, her mom asked the same question and she explained. Her mom told her again to NEVER do it again! The next day, the guys offered her a $100 bucks. She couldn't reist and sad yes. When she got home, her mom asked her again and she explained it to her mom. Then her mom told her to never do it again. Then the little girl said, "Don't worry mom, i didn't wear any underwear today!."
2006-08-25 10:36:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Electricity went out for 3 straight hours in Tehran
2006-08-25 10:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by Evening Breeze 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
sorry i didnt like it but i like this joke three men were working on three different buildings one was Mexican one was Chinese and one was American they sat down to have lunch and the Mexican says man if i get been burritos for lunch one more time im going to jump off this building to my death the Chinese opens his lunch and says if i get rice for lunch one more time im gonna jump off this building to my lunch the American said the same thing (only his was a ham sandwich)... so the next day at lunch the Mexican gets the same lunch and jumps off the building to his death same thing for the Chinese and and the American... at the funerals the Mexicans wife says if he ad told me he wanted something different for lunch i would of gave him something different same as the Chinese wife then at the Americans funeral his wife says dont look at me he made his own lunch
2006-08-25 10:30:12 · answer #5 · answered by hotstuff 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOL thats funny but i dont know any real funny ones
2006-08-25 10:38:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Heard it before still good.
2006-08-25 10:39:30 · answer #7 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not funny at all.
2006-08-25 10:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by Terry L 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
this joke is like 10 years old, sorry you just now found it! thanks for the points!
2006-08-25 10:33:15 · answer #9 · answered by spaceyinla 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
this is a very stupid joke
2006-08-25 10:35:54 · answer #10 · answered by adanthuis 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋