I have a 17 month old and everyone is asking when I'm having another. I'm ok with one for now. I always feel guilty though because he seems so lonely. I need opinions please.
2006-08-25 10:04:42 · 24 answers · asked by ☆miss☆ 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I had a sis growing up very close in age and I would be a different person w/o her. It's just so hard. I don't know what to do.
2006-08-25 10:29:41 · update #1
Only children are at a slight disadvantage when it comes to social development. The way to help them adapt is through play groups and day care. If you have multiple children, this is something that you don't need to worry about. Plus, any natural leadership qualities the child may have will constantly be put to the test.
On the other side of the coin, is the cost of additional children, the fear that one child will have more of your attention than the other(s), the sibling rivalry and the comments that some people feel they must make because of your choice to have multiple children. Although, you already know what that's like since people are asking when you will be having your next.
Only you and your partner know what's best for your lives. Don't worry about what others say and/or think; just be happy and love your children regardless of how many or how few you choose to have.
Good luck!
2006-08-25 10:18:29 · answer #1 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that an only child is easier but I know that growing up with a sibling is great! I personally don't know what I would do without my brother. I also have 2 boys of my own and they are inseperable. They keep eachother occupied and play together! I believe that having more than 1 is better, not necessarily easier by any means. My kids are almost 3 years apart...you still have some time to have another one and make up your mind. If you leave and more than a 4 year gap though they will not have a lot in common and therefore you might as well be starting over.
2006-08-25 17:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by stall_out 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I have 5 children - 4 of which are very close in age. They not only grew up as siblings, but also as friends. They are also friends with their siblings' friends. My youngest was treated more like the "little brother" - and therefore spoiled. We're now awaiting twin boys, I'm still unsure if 7 is enough for my family.
Growing up, I had 8 brothers and sisters. I always felt safe, and surrounded by people that love me. Today, I am a very outspoken person who is rarely shy.
However, have another baby when you are ready to. Not when everyone else thinks so. The only one who can make a good choice about that - is you.
2006-08-25 20:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was an only child and it seems that now that I am older it put a strain on me socially. I am not a complete shut in or anything, but I am not as social as those that had siblings around. I don't have the need to have someone around me, so I don't go out of my way to be social with people. I have noticed that a lot of my friends that are similar were also only children. I really didn't feel that lonely as a child, but I learned to entertain myself, creating this lack of needing someone there.
Then again I have many friends that had siblings and hated it. They don't speak to their siblings now that they are older.
I would not have them more then 2-3 years apart. If you get too much of a gap in between there will be too much of a difference in age and they will be on different social levels.
2006-08-25 17:17:44 · answer #4 · answered by charice266 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a half brother that I didnt grow up with, so I grew up as an only child. I also have only one child. He has plenty of friends and cousins to play with. Yes, I do wonder how it would be different sometimes, but in general he is happy and we get to do alot of stuff becasue we are a small unit. Don't let anyone pressure you into more children before you are ready. You will know when the time is right, or if you have already completed your family.
2006-08-25 17:55:11 · answer #5 · answered by limgrn_maria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go with whatever feels right for you and your husband. There is certainly nothing wrong with being an only child I know many and they are just like the people I know who have at least one if not more siblings. The ones who are single children their parents had them in a play group that they went to once a week, this let them be around some kids their own age, its probably even a good idea to be a part of a play group even if you have multiply kids close in age. As they get to interact with people not in the family.
There can be advantage to having Kids close in age but there can be advantages to having a larger age gaps between them. My father and his twin brother are 12 ½ year older then their sister, they were able to help out more with her and were expected too, but their parents always had four extra hands to help out. Most kids if they are close in age will probably be closer but you can be close to a sibling who is a lot older too. There is a girl at my church who is 22, her bother is 12 and they are extremely close Kids close to the same age typical will go through the same things around the same time puberty , being teenagers. etc.
Again I say just do what feels right for your family if having another baby feels right now do it, if you feel you want to wait till your child is 2 , 3 or older do that. If you are content to having only one child that’s fine too there are a lot of only children in the world, so its not like your child would be alone.
If people ask you when your having another you can tell them that's between you and your husband or we're fine with the one we have for now. But thanks for your concern on our reproductive lives
2006-08-25 17:48:09 · answer #6 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have also been wrestling with that question. With 1, you can give your child lots of attention. As long as you do things with other children, your child should socialize just fine. On the other hand, having a sibling could be beneficial. At first, it will be lots more work for you. The children may fight, but they will always be siblings and loyal to each other. If something would happen to you , your children would still have each other to lean on. If you are OK with one for now, just wait until you are ready. If one makes your family complete, that is fine. Do what is best for you and your family.
2006-08-25 17:57:54 · answer #7 · answered by seatonrsp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 2 is good. My sister and I are 12 years apart so it was like I was an only child most of my life. I always wanted a sibling. I have one son that is almost 3 and we are trying to have our 2nd. There is know rush, I would wait a little longer if I were you, but I would definately have another one
2006-08-25 17:17:58 · answer #8 · answered by mommylee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the second eldest of seven kids, and I love being from a large family. Although I'm not suggesting you have that many(!!!) I think it's important to have siblings. As a child, you learn how to mix, share, communicate and accept differences in people when you have to live and grow up with brothers and sisters. Plus, you always have someone to talk to, share your life and family with, and have a laugh and cry with when you're older.
2006-08-25 17:19:40 · answer #9 · answered by lilyangele 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have 2 other siblings and i have 3 children there ages are 9 then i waited another 4 years before having another shes 4 and i have a boy whos 9 months youve got plenty of time have one when your ready best wishes
2006-08-26 15:17:10 · answer #10 · answered by nicole 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋