I am getting married on September 22 of next year to a wonderful man, but he will not participate in the planning process. He is giving up all the money that we need but he says he just doesn't want to be bothered with the extra stuff. What makes it so bad is that he is the one that wants the big wedding not me but he doesn't want to help me plan it. Oh and wait he has a nerve to complain but when I asked his opinion he didn't have one. HELP BEFORE I PULL OUT ALL MY HAIR!!!!!!
2006-08-25 09:35:43 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Since he is paying for it all, give him the wedding of his dreams.. Pick out what YOU want, WHERE you want it, WHO you want to come and everything else. He wants big? Give him big.
I understand where you are coming from too. Right now I am planning my wedding for March of 07. My fiance is taking care of most of it, but the planning is all in my lap. So i recruited two of my girlfriends to help me with it. I even skipped him on finding out who he wants to come. I was at first frustrated, but he told me that he really trusts my choices and knows that I would not make bad choices. He was the one who suggested having my girlfriends help. It has taken a lot of pressure off of my back, and I truly believe, has made it even more fun for me.
If he complains of your choices, just let him know that you gave him ample opportunities to give his input and as of this moment he hasn't so he needs not to complain now. If he wants to help later on, so be it, but right now it is up to you to give yourself what you are looking for!
Just so you also know though- men arent really interested in planning weddings- for the most part it is seen as a woman thing! Just keep him informed- he will keep what info he feels necessary and trust you with the rest...
Hoping for the best!
2006-08-25 09:58:03 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not this is normal, it's funny that they call this a man's world when the truth of the matter is they can't handle pressure or making multiple decisions. Continue to plan the wedding as you see fit because there are many details and little things you'll pay attention to that he woudln't think twice about . To alleviate some pressure though I would talk to a close family member or friend about helping you and being a coordinator so you're not physically and emotionally drained before you even get to your wedding day . Just envision what you want your day to be like and go for it, if and when he complains ask him if he would like to take on whatever he's complaining about, if not tell him look honey either you're in with the planning or you're out - I love ya and I'm not saying you can't have any input- but you can't have it both ways - you're driving me crazy and the last thing I want to become is bridezilla.
2006-08-25 10:07:28 · answer #2 · answered by dee dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married in three weeks. My fiance is paying for the whole thing but didn't help with the planning at all. He works any where from 12 to 14 hours a day. He is very tired when he gets home. He also works 7 hours every saturday. It is all mandatory at his job. I love doing the planning. I let him know everything that I am doing. As a Matter of fact I went out tonight to get our wedding rings and he stayed home with the baby. I really dont mind. We both love each other very much and I know that our wedding will be very beautiful even if he didnt help with the planning. He is marrying me, So who cares about the rest.
2006-08-25 14:51:58 · answer #3 · answered by JAYNE C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, did you ever leave it late to get so frustrated with your guy! Hope this doesn't carry on into the marriage, after the wedding. This should have all been dealt with a long time ago - who was going to do what, etc. Guys just don't like to do "stuff" - did you really want him involved in all the frills? C'mon! He should be able to complain all he wants - did you forget he's the groom-to-be? Just take it like a woman, enjoy the pre-wedding stuff like all girls do, and lay off the guy!
2006-08-25 11:46:31 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, do not listen to those who say "this is how your life is going to be with this man" or "it's not going to work".
Men do not like planning weddings. As far as they are concerned it is a "girl thing". Once time gets closer he'll come around. For now start the planning with one of your friends/wedding planner/mother or mother-in-law. Men do not get into the whole wedding thing until it's there and they have to. It will be great!
If you don't want to be stressed with it, and you guys can afford it, just hire a wedding planner! Less stress!
good luck
2006-08-25 09:57:06 · answer #5 · answered by sonik_starz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men really don't get off on the whole "wedding planning" process. I know my husband didn't. He wanted to know 4 basic facts, how much did it cost, where he had to be and when, and what was he supposed to wear. In that exact order too. Don't get upset over his not wanting to help with the planning, he'll probably hate the idea of decorating too, which gives you free rein!!! In other words, take the money and run! :-)
2006-08-25 09:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
guys don't care about the details of a wedding. its the brides big day so take this chance to plan what you really want. it he doesnt like it then to bad for him. your wedding is so far away you really dont need to start setting things til six months before so make a scrap book of all the things you want to include in the wedding and then one day only one day have him go through it with you and tell him that it is important that he gives an honest opinion about what he likes and dislikes. this way you don't have everything set in stone and you are able to adjust as needed. guys don't care about the different shades of blue and the linens and all the girlie stuff so limit his exposre and he will apreciate the few times you talk about it with him more....
2006-08-25 09:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by ~Saratini~ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lots of guys want to have nothing to do with wedding planning and think all they have to do is show up. Talk to your fiance and tell him that you want to plan together. The best way to ask him to go with you to look at places and give him choices and ask what he likes best.
You can't make him help, but you can convince him that helping you can be fun or at least painless.
2006-08-25 09:41:01 · answer #8 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, I'm having carrot cake, that's what I want, if you don't, speak now or forever hold your peace. Then forget about his opinon.
My husband got annoyed when I asked his opinion about the wedding. I just quit asking and did it the way I wanted and just told him where to stand and gave him a card with his vows. The wedding was great.
2006-08-25 09:40:16 · answer #9 · answered by grdnoviz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is tell him your the one who wanted a big wedding I don't and I really need help from you not just you throwing your money my way to do everything this is suppose to be the best day of our lives not just mine I want your opinions on everything and we both can come to agreements about the wedding and tell him that you want him to be a part of this wedding because its a special day for the both of you not just him or you.
2006-08-25 09:40:10 · answer #10 · answered by babygirl 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋