How do I get my grandfather to talk?

Question

He was in WWII. He invaded Normandy. Since he spoke a little German, it was his job to go into a lot of homes first. I've known this much for years but he wont say any more. He is in his mid 90s and his health is beginning to fail. I want to learn more about his younger years and certainly more about the war, but he isn't interested in talking.
Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I'm warning you now...you have not asked an easy question, so I could get very long-winded here so just please bear with me, ok?

First up, you've gotta handle this *very* delicately. I mean, it was a war, yanno? Sure, the tales of brotherhood and camaraderie bring up great memories, but with those memories come many painful ones as well. Perhaps he saw something or did something that is just too painful to talk about. Everyone that has ever been in combat suffers Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to some degree.

My uncle was a B-17 pilot in WWII. He was shot down and spent 23 months in a German POW camp. He never spoke much at all about it. It was only thru my aunt that we learned what happened. The day his plane was shot down, for some reason - God knows why - my uncle & the co-pilot had switched seats. When the plane was hit, the co-pilot was killed instantly. My uncle always felt guilty that he wasn't in his own seat, that he wasn't the one to die. Plus, there were 8 other men on board and as the pilot, he was responsible for them. He did the best he could to try and get them out of there, but one of the wings was blown all to h3ll, so it was pretty pointless. When they were captured, they were marched through the town they had just bombed, so they saw the destruction first hand. Add all of that together and it's obvious why my uncle wouldn't talk about it.

Your grandfather went into homes...ok...let's set up a possible scenario, ok? What if he went into a home and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a quick movement. It's a war, he's obviously a bit tense and instinctively, he reacts to the movement, turns and fires his weapon. Then he realizes he just shot a child. Or maybe a pregnant woman. Anything could have happened.

All that to say - you can't really make him talk about it. You could try explaining that the family history is important to you, but don't push him.

If you want to know more about the invasion of Normandy, check out The Longest Day by Cornelius Ryan or D-Day by Steven Ambrose. You'll get a lot of good information there.

Answer 2

You might tell him you want to take down the family history - and that the hard times he went through will help your future generations to understand and put things in a more realistic or human percpective than a classroom text book ever will.....
I talked with my grandfather about it (also WWII vet) and it was a good experience. We recorded some of it. I've since had other cousins interview him for homework and school papers. Then he got started writing. If you can get him in to a senior citizen autobiography class it might get him more in the mood to discuss his past and help keep his mind a bit sharper as he starts to fail.

Answer 3

It may be that his memories are too painful for him and not something he wants to talk about. He knows that it would be really hard for someone who didn't live through it to understand those days. I think you should respect his wishes.