I need serious help with my 5 year old son that still goes potty in his pants out of pure laziness!!!?

Question

He's now in Kindergarten and still goes potty in his pants. He doesn't do it at school, but, just today, he did it after being home for less than 5 minutes. He's a happy child, but, I think he's just too lazy, or too busy to quit playing to use the potty. Anyone else out there with this problem? I'm tired of washing his clothes everyday. I need help. I'm at my witt's end.... Serious answers only, please. Thanks!

Answer 1

Try taking him to the bathroom EVERY 2 hours. If that does not help then make it EVERY hour. Tell him he can come back to whatever it is he was doing just as soon as he goes potty. He will complain but tell him that this is how it is until he is a "big boy". You have to do this without fail. He will see that he can resume playing, watching tv, eating, (whatever the activity was) just as soon as he goes potty. If he does not pee in 5 minutes, get him off the pot and wait 1/2 hour. It really works.

Answer 2

WOW, that's got to be very stressful, but it's really not uncommon. Here are a few tricks you could try:

What is your child's favorite (small) play toy? For instance, does he like bubbles? If so, fill that sink with bubbles every time he makes it to the potty in time. You could try tokens, marbles, stickers, etc. Whatever he works for ... heck, you could even give him small change. Just a small incentive to make it to the bathroom before having accidents.

Restrict fluid intake to certain times of the day (and small snacks) and then taken him to the bathroom on a schedule. So, for instance, no drinks past 7:00 pm. Also, he will likely need to use the bathroom about a 1/2 hour past a drink.

If you haven't done so already, ditch the diapies and put on some "big boy pants." It makes it easier for him to tell when he needs to go. They hate being wet.

Let him watch you (or preferrably Daddy) so it's not scary.

Most importantly, don't punish him when he does have an accident. Just say, OH WELL, I GUESS YOU WON'T GET TO PLAY WITH THOSE BUBBLES THIS TIME, reminding him that he's missing out in this great fun thing right now. And only let him do it when he actually goes, not just tries to go. That way, you aren't in the bathroom every 5 minutes. In fact, you could set some rules for the reward if you think he'd understand.

Good luck ... keep your head up ... it takes boys longer to learn than it does for girls ... it's just a matter of maturity.

Answer 3

I wouldn't assume it's laziness just yet. It could be many things. If I were you, I'd take him to a doctor first to be sure it's not physical. It sounds emotional to me though. Maybe when he's at school, he's intimidated and holds it all day...and by the time he gets home, he can't wait? Maybe he feels like he's not in control of anything at home, and that's the only thing he does control?I think if the doctor ruled out any physical causes, I would take him to a counselor who might be able to find out why he's doing this. You may be right after all of course...he may just get too busy at home to be bothered with that. The above posters have suggested a few good ideas, like taking him to the potty every couple of hours. I hope you get results soon! Good luck!

PS: I would NOT use physical discipline or shame in this situation! It's NEVER a good idea to punish a child during potty training.

Answer 4

I actually answered a question similar to this one about a month ago, except that boy was 8.

A few tips are:

- Go see a doctor - Not anything serious but he might just have weak sphyncter muscles. He would probably just have to work on strengthening those muscles to stay clean. Ask the doctor for some tips on doing so.

- Make him clean up his own underwear - My little brother did the same thing when he was that age and he didn't stop until...a while after. Anyways, my parents were also as fed up with cleaning his clothes, so they decided to make him wash his own underwear. They made him clean them by hand in the tub or in the toilet. The point was to gross him out of the phase and a plus was that they didn't have to clean up the mess.

- Develop a system of reminders - My parents made up some code words that only we (my brother, parents and myself) knew. There was the one that we had for strangers picking us up, that kind of code word, and another to make sure my brother would go to the restroom without question. Whenever my parents would say this word, my brother would have to get up from whatever he was doing and go use the restroom. They did this as a courtesy to us both, so as to not embarrass us in front of our friends. (I say us because i was the bedwetter and yes i admit it).

-There is only one other method and that is to just buy some pull-ups and have him wear them. It might seem a little harsh but a little improvement on potty training would probably help. It might also help with the wash load (i.e. no poopy underwear).

I hope I could be of some help to you.

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By the way, here is the link to the other question i mentioned earlier.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkQJNVoVs7pF9PbPRxAq6uTsy6IX?qid=1006052424702

Answer 5

I had the same problem with my son. We figured out that it was a mixture of things. We corrected the problem by not talking to him during cleanup because it made it to much of a bonding experience and we also designated potty times three times a day to help train his bowels. We started with after breakfast he would sit on the toilet for 10 min. if nothing happened oh well if he did go potty he got a sticker. We also did 10 min after school when he got home and he got to read books while he sat there, and 10 min after dinner while we filled the bath for him. After a week of this we figured out he only needed it twice, after school and at bath time. Has worked wonders.

Answer 6

Very serious answer here (I'm a Mother too!).

Take any and all priviledges away until he starts to use the toilet. (Make this time short term) He will do it! It might take a few days. Explain to him what you are doing. You may need to tell him that you will have to put him back into baby diapers until he makes a decision to start using the bathroom and then do it! (That means baby diapers at school too! ) Tell him that he will have to start changing his own diaper, give him the wipes and a diaper and explain how the diaper works, and send him to the garage (a dark garage works really well - he probably can't flip on the light switch). Let him know that you will be waiting inside to answer any questions he might have. And...whatever you do...don't lose your cool. Tell him it is his decision..."Baby diapers...or...no baby diapers...it's up to you son." State your reasons for taking his priviledges away and then turn around and walk away...don't discuss it further with him. It's not negotiable.

Be very straightforward.

Hope this helps.

Answer 7

This will sound funny but put girls thin underpants on him. The reason is twofold. One the feeling he wil get when he goes 1 or 2 he won't like because of the thinness of girls pants (the thinner the better). Also you can tell him that when he starts going on the Big boy potty all the time he will get his big boy pants back and buy him some cool big boy pants to look forward to.
Hope that helps! Worked for our kids.

Answer 8

Not saying that girls don't do this, but for the most part it's a boy thing. Most girls don't want to get messy. Little boys a lot of the time couldn't care less (at least at first) and would risk just about anything to keep from having to stop playing.
If you are absolutely sure it's nothing medical and just encouraging/reminding him to go doesn't work (like as soon as he gets home from school or after playing for awhile)...you're going to have to get tough. Talk to him...tell him big boys don't do that and if he does it again just because he doesn't want to stop playing, you will have to punish him. Be specific about what the punishment will be and stick to it. He'll stop. Good Luck!

Answer 9

From my experience, girls are definitley easier to potty train. I still have that problem with my son (not so much now) and he's 12!!! It is laziness, be sure to correct this at a young age, my suggestion is to try rewarding him with something he really likes when he goes potty in the bathroom, or punish him by taking away playtime when he wets himself. Also, talk to your doctor or pediatrician. And be sure it is not something psychological, trama of any kind at a young age can cause children to act that way.
Some GREAT links:
http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/disorders/bedwetting.shtml

http://nejat.net/Bedwetting.htm

Answer 10

Dark Angel- my mother tried the cheerios thing for my brother and it worked like a charm.

Making potty time into fun time can help your son feel more relaxed. My mother used to leave toys and books in the bathroom and we were not allowed to touch them unless we were using the potty.

That made us more comfortable and you know kids, if you tell them they cant have something, they will want it even more.