We dated for 2 1/2 years when he then asked me to marry him. After 10 days he broke off the engagement because he still had some "trust issues" with me. This is a long distance relationship but we do see each other on an average of once a month. He said he needs to be more comfortable with me before he can committ . I can understand that to some extent but he makes me feel that I am not good enough and criticized me frequently. Should I continue in this relationship after 3 years or cut my losses and move on.
2006-08-25 09:03:32 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hello, Every relationship will be tested, and you have passed the test by sticking with him for this long - being ready to marry him. So he seems to be the one with the problem - listen honey- if he's not 100% commited by now - then maybe you would be better off looking for someone else.The kind of person that you want is one who will honor & love you (not criticize).Who will cherish you (not mis-trust you) commit to you for better or worse (not be divided in his loyalty)...you see- before you can take the marriage vows you have to allready have them in your heart -living them everyday- you should be the most precious thing in his life...but I don't see that coming from him.True love is too important to pass by- so go looking for it...somewhere else. It's a journey we all have to take if we want to be happy...our search for love...I'm wishing you the best and Good Luck!
2006-08-25 09:29:28 · answer #1 · answered by Danica Fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a two way street, both of you must have the same committment and understanding to walk down the aisle. However it seems you guys still have issues to work out and it might be a good idea to step back before tieing the knot.
He's having "trust issue" and you are not happy with him criticizing you and belittling you, these are marriage destoryers that must be solved before you guys move on. You really need to talk to him about these issues.
I think finding a common ground to talk about where you want to go together is a good place to start the conversation, and then bring up how you feel about him and try to see if both of you can come to a compromise.
The most important skill that will often save marriage from divorce is the ability to compromise and understanding. Try to do this now to see if you guys have it within you, if not than maybe its not a good idea to get marry so fast.
2006-08-25 16:12:23 · answer #2 · answered by thsiung 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand that some people need more time to decide if they need to commit. i personally want to be with someone for a looong time before i decide whether i want to be with them forever or even live with that person.
but..
i would not ask someone to marry me then turn around and tell them never mind. asking someone to marry you on a whim is not smart. he should have thought about that for longer and he should have asked you when he knew you were the one 100% no doubts. by doing that to you, and criticising you he's taking away all of your power. honey, don't let anyone take your power away no matter who they are: your friends, your lovers, your family. if they love you enough they won't do that to you. You should have a big serious talk to him. Take all of your power back, and YOU tell him what you want and need. after you guys have that talk you will figure out whether you even want this guy or not. and if not, that's cool too, there's plenty of fish in the sea. if you choose to continue this relationship, don't leave it up to him whether he wants you or whether you're good enough. make it about you for once! if he's doing this now, think of how he'll treat you if he finally decides he wants you, which is not fair at all... what do you want??? what about you?? ya know..? Take your power back. Build your confidence and be everything you want to be in this world. If you find your souldmate that's awesome girl! I think you sound too good for him personally! If you put up with this any longer if he does finally decide to marry you it's because he's decided to settle for you because he hasn't found anything better. that's not fair to you sweetie. put yourself first, always! and no that's not selfish because you have to take care of yourself in order to be there to help out everyone else in your life.
2006-08-25 16:17:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie sweetie first of all what is this guy trying to prove he know your the one and he wants to dangle you around like your a puppet on a string please its a long distance relationship and thats a no no i think he's doing something he dont have any business doing and he's playing games with you you both been together for a long time and he should step up and be a man you need to ask him why all the negetivety and if he wants to be with you or not because your life is not on hold because he wants to play childish games good luck.
2006-08-25 16:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by honey bun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doubt is the main enemy of love, lovers should trust each other, life with a doubtful love will not exist for long and it's better to cut your losses and move on for a brightful future.
It's one of my own experience.
2006-08-25 16:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by liky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave now...don't waste your time. you have been together for 3 years and now all of a sudden he doesn't trust you, and how much more comfortable can you get after being together for 3 years. it definitly sounds like he has something on the side. never let anybody bring you down...if he wasn't so insecure he wouldn't need to make you feel like a pile of crap.
2006-08-25 16:13:43 · answer #6 · answered by iamthegreatest7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you wasting time with a long distance relationship? i think he is probably trying to get together with someone else and is waiting to see if that works out or not. Sorry.
2006-08-25 16:08:44 · answer #7 · answered by Fire_God_69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate long distance relationships and I could not come to a conclusion of marriage to someone I see only once a month. ALthough HE should of thought about that BEFORE he proposed but damn it goes both ways.
2006-08-25 16:08:36 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to poop or get off the pot. Sounds like he is stringing you along and has commitment issues. You deserve someone who wants to be with you, who makes you feel like a treasure, and values every moment with you. If that is not him, then you know what to do. Good luck!
2006-08-25 16:07:55 · answer #9 · answered by Smilingcheek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut and run. Chalk it up to experience.
Thanxs for the response. It only begins to feel like work when after a long period of foreplay, and she asks you to come in, and then it seems like ur not getting any response. I like feedback,. I like to think that I'm making her feel good, and then better, until bang, best, but the better seems to always be left out.
Understand, I like it all, but I like to please, too!
2006-08-26 14:58:01 · answer #10 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋