My husband is 47, I'm 34. We travel A LOT for work and I am afraid if we have a baby, would hurt our relation at work and at home. We work together and spend a lot of time together, we have been married for 5 years and I really want a baby but...the clock is ticking! help need some advice...
2006-08-25 09:00:35 · 19 answers · asked by lisirm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, having a baby may not "hurt" your relationship, but it will definitely change it. There is a lot of pressure to have a child, especially if you are a woman in her 30's. But if it is something that you are unsure of, don't just do it because you think that you should.
I have seen parents completely blindsided by the responsibility and lifestyle changes that are required after the baby comes. And I am certain that some of them would change their decisions if they could go back in time. They love their kids, of course, but given the choice, they may have done things differently. You can have a full and satisfying life without children, you just have to learn to ignore the people who think that you are strange or feel sorry for you because you won't have someone holding your hand at your death bead (which is not guaranteed anyway).
Just because most people have kids doesn't mean that everyone wants kids.
2006-08-25 09:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by kp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can really tell you what to do. You have to organize your priorities. Is it important enough for you to have a baby that you can give up some of your "extras" and work a little less? Can you afford childcare so you can keep working? Can you travel with the baby? You have to decide for yourself. Also, yes, your relationship with your spouse will change. Hasn't it changed since you've met him? Relationships are always changing. You just adapt and keep going. Another thing. If you decide to have a baby, your time with your husband is VERY important. You MUST plan a "date night" every week so that you can get out and spend some time together. With 3 kids, I can tell you that this can make a HUGE difference.
2006-08-25 16:10:26 · answer #2 · answered by PartyGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband want kids? If he does then explain to him having a child is alot of hard work and takes up alot of time. I have three and I don't even hardly have time to go to the bathroom. But believe me when I say they are a joy to have and when you do have children, work and traveling won't matter at all. You can travel when your child gets alittle older and it would be a great experience for them.
2006-08-25 16:08:56 · answer #3 · answered by marieL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not ready to include a child in your life than no. They take up a lot of your time. They need a lot of love, and if you can't fit them into your busy schedule then no, it would not be right. Don't just have a child cause your clock is ticking
2006-08-25 16:05:23 · answer #4 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes have the baby.... everything will work out... the baby will change your life and how you think... if you really want a baby.... i would do it ASAP if i was 34... not saying that your old or anything... but that's just a good time. you say you don't want to hurt your relationship at home? that's kinda strange cause a baby is an addition to your family.... which is at home.... its not an accessory....
2006-08-25 16:09:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lipstick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are a full time job.If you can live on his salary everything should be fine.Don't put your infant with a day care or a baby sitter.The child will need you for quite some time.They say couples without children are also the happiest.
2006-08-25 16:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by pretzgolf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't have a kid just for the sake of having a kid. there are enough pressures on people to have and do it all. if you and the hubby are happy, why add additional pressures. i have 3 kids and i would not trade for them. i do not have to travel so i'm home everyday. if you guys have a baby, someone(probably you) will have to stop or severely curtail your career. what matters most is what do you guys want? if it's kids, then you will do what needs to be done. if not, enjoy your lives and continue to love one another.
2006-08-25 16:06:27 · answer #7 · answered by Robert A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should enjoy life and not work so hard. And if a family is what you both want then go for it. But only if it is what both of you want! Babies will make or break a relationship!
2006-08-25 16:05:37 · answer #8 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have a child unless you really want one. It will change your life completely. You might change your mind later. You should educate yourself about the risks of having a child late in your reproductive years, but many women deliver perfectly healthy babies in their late 30's and early 40's.
2006-08-25 16:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not trying to be mean, but stop being selfish, you said you want a baby, but it sounds like your in between because you still want to have your husband to your self, a baby will make it worth everything.
2006-08-25 16:07:07 · answer #10 · answered by Lori T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋