Some questions about Adoption???

Question

Ok here is the thing my best friends parents want to a adopt/foster care kids. Ok they are in their 50's. Ashley (friend) is concerened so I want to help so she is not worried about it anymore so here are my questions:
When you want to adopt do you get to choose gender/age??
Do the DSS always come and check out your house?
Do you have to live a certain lifestyle to be able to adopt/ fostercare?
Do you have to pay to adopt?
Sorry they maybe some spelling errors but I hope you understand what I mean.- Thanks if you can help!!!

Oh my gosh.. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I don't think I am going to be able to pick someone as best anwser because these are all so good anwsers. Thank you once again!!!

Answer 1

I am a foster Mum to 2 grown up youngsters, I got them when one was 12 & the other 14...the best thing to do is approach social services and set the ball rolling. At their age I would very much doubt adoption would be on the cards but fostering should be fine...tell them NOT to set age limits as this will be frowned upon. Also the DSS DO NOT come into your home, its social services that DO. Foster parents are usually paid to foster the children and sometimes they only stay a couple of days so thhey must understand that getting attached is not the thing to do until you are sure that child is going to stay for a long long time....I was lucky both of mine are still around and very very happy.

Answer 2

If you adopt internationally you have more say in the gender and age of the child. If you adopt domestically, it is up to the birhtmother to decide if they are a good fit so you have no say really. Also, some agencies put limits on age. The Agency will come and check out the house and do something called a Home Study which consists of interviews and a visit. You don't have to lead a certain lifestyle per say but they will ask lot and LOTS of questions about your relationships, finances, plans for the future, etc. Yes you have to pay to adopt. Domestically it can cost between $10,000 and $20,000 and internationally can go as high as $30,000 to $40,000 or more as there is extensive travel sometimes required. I hope that helps. If they are serious, there is tons of info on the internet about adotion.

Answer 3

We adopted our daughter from DSS so my answers are based on adoption and not fostering. Some answer might be different for fostering. We were able to choose any child we wanted - gender, age, disability or not, type of disability. They are not just going to throw a kid at you and say 'Good luck'. They want to make sure the family will succeed. DSS will check out your house - they want to make sure you have enough bedrooms to accomodate a child. if yu have children already they will want to know those sleeping arangements as well (it isn't always good to double up these kids). As far as lifestyle goes, that will vary from state to state. In MA where I am they allow single or same gender parents but that's not the case in all states (at least not openly anyway).
No, you do not have to pay to adopt but there may be travel expenses while you are visiting children that interest you.
edited to add: You must be at least 20 years older that the child you intend to adopt. I don't know about the maximum age for adopting or fostering but my daughter's foster parents were in their 60's. And my friends who are in their 50's recently adopted their grandchildren (but I beleive kinship gets handled differently). Okay, I think that covers about all I know. I'll be back if I think of more.
another addition: home inspections. Another thing that they will look for and advise you on - if you are considering a young child they will look for safety issues - do you have a fenced in yard, will you fence it in? Is your pool secure, do you have a forgotten fridge or freezer in your basement, etc.

Answer 4

When you decide to adopt you definately can choose the gender and age but it may take longer to find a child that meets your age and gender wishes. Social services will initially check out the living enviornment if you are choosing adoption. With foster care their visits will be more frequent. No you don't have to have any certain lifestyle just one that allows you to be a good parent. No you do not have to pay to adopt. And one more peice of advice if your freinds choose to adopt tell them to read everything they can get their hands on. Adoption is a very emotional thing and it may help them with helping the child with special issues in the future.

Best Wishes

Answer 5

You can choose the gender and age of the children you foster. The more particular you are, the longer it may take for you to find a child to adopt, but there is usually an abundance of children needing foster care.

Yes, the child welfare or adoption agency should always come and check out the propective foster/adoptive parents. If they don't, then you don't want to be involved with that agency.

A good adoption/foster care agency should be open to diverse lifestyles and people. They shouldn't expect you to totally change your lifestyle to adapt to their expectations.

If you adopt certain foster children, you may actually receive a monthly fee till the children turn 18.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I highly doubt they can adopt. In my state, 40 years of age is the cut off on State wards adoptions. So we are probably talking foster care. A potential family has a back ground check done on them, their house is inspected, and they also have to meet housing requirements. In my state boys and girls need separate rooms, and there can not be more that 3 children sharing one bedroom. Many people foster kids for the money only. In my state, a foster parent receives $900 a month per kid, and they are always covered under medicaid for health care. The family also receives free lunch programs at school and food stamps for the kid/s. As you can see, if you foster 3 kids that turns into a lot of extra cash, which is supposed to be used for utilities & clothing personal higene etc. Unfortunately many scam the government and buy new cars and crap for themselves and the kids wear worn out clothes from the local 2nd hand store. Sadly I know a few people who take advantage of the system like this...I even turned one family in when it got to painful to witness.

Another valid point I would like to make, these kids need help. Many foster kids have been mentally or emotionally abused. Many are born to crack head or meth head mothers and have phycial disabilities. They need good strong families that will nurture them. Many are born to very young mothers who want to keep them at first, then realize how much work they are and neglet them, then the state takes them away. It is one more terrible result of teen and preteen pregnancy.

Usually there is a choice on what/who you get. They often try to keep siblings together.

Answer 7

As far as adopting, yes you pick the child you want except after 45, I don't think they allow to adopt babies, but not sure..

Yes, social services will do a homestudy to make sure your house is appropiate(sp)..the lifestyle(do you mean money) doesn't seem to matter as long as you yourself aren't on assistance..sometimes the adoption is free if this child is in the system..but they have foster parents classes all over the place, they should check out their local social service office and ask..

Answer 8

My husband and I just finished our training classes to become foster/adoptive parents so I think I can answer your questions.
You do get to chose the gender, disabilities, and age of children but they won't give teenagers to young parents or infants to older parents without just cause.
Yes, they ALWAYS come and inspect the house for safety and such.
You don't have to be rich or anything like that but you have to be good people with good morals and live cleanly.
No, the adoption is paid for by the state.
If you have any other questions please email me!

Answer 9

Well featuring that I was adopted when I was about 2months old.
I was adopted from Canada,my biological mother had me when she was only 18 and my brother when she was 16 years old.
Yes usually you get to choose your gender,not so much the age.
But in China your chances of getting a girl is great,your chances of getting a boy is rare.Since each family in China is only allowed one child per family b/c of the popultaion there.My friend adopted one from China,and shes a little girl,she went to get her when she was about one.Sometimes they come to check the houses usually if it's fostercare.Yes,you have to pay to adopt.
I hope I helped you out as best as I could and good luck!!