i have a teen daughter , i just recently found out that my husband talked to her about sex (describing it in detail). I have talked w/him to let him know that that was not acceptable to be telling her in that way. I talked w/ my daughter to let her know that it wasnt ok, the way he was talking to her. I also found out that he was trying to touch her were he shouldnt be. So, i sat down w/ my husband and my daughter and we talked about the situation. so here is my question? I want to try to help my husband find a thearpist to get some help. This is the most difficult thing i ever had to face in my life.
I was molested when i was a kid. ( by my brother he was around 14 and me around 10). growing up it was hard to understand why he would do this. Im in my 30's now. There is so many people out there that have sexual issuses. Obviously, the person who moletsted an innocent child. and now the child who has been molsted has to face sexual issues, and mental. i want to help both
2006-08-25 07:59:20 · 12 answers · asked by hello 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I really admire the calm way you sat down with both of them and discussed your concerns. I would highly recommend that you and your husband go to a counselor to discuss the issue. I would also be very firm about the fact that he is not going to be alone with her again until the issue has been addressed to your satisfaction by medical attention! Seek a psychiatrist that specializes in sexual issues and child molestation and go yourself first and then drag him along. Psychiatrist have to keep all discussions confidential especially since you are taking responsibility for protecting the minor child. They can't claim that the child is in danger--the only legitimate reason for breaking the patient doctor oath. Everybody can recover from this especially with quick, firm intervention.
If you have little health insurance or other financial issues seek a pastor or other minister. Many receive extensive training in counseling under these conditions and can at the very least help you find affordable help.
Good Luck!
2006-08-25 08:09:17 · answer #1 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you had that happened to you as a child. I have lost someone to depression for being molested by her dad.
To help you with your question you do need to get them both some help. Your husband for the fact that you do not want him to hurt someone else. And you daughter for that is something that will hurt her for the rest of he life. Right now is the best time, later in life things will happen and you not know why. She just really needs you to lessen to her and she needs to know that you will be their no matter what happens.
2006-08-25 08:16:17 · answer #2 · answered by Help Me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm not being mean by saying this...i believe that you all should get help ASAP. it 'has' to be the hardest thing you've ever been through! i'm saddened to hear this. but, you all need help in how to best deal with this. you have a history, and you didn't say if you had ever worked through this either. the daughter should in no way be alone with dad for a while either, and i believe i would have dad out of the house till the therapist says it's ok, but that may not be an option!
WOW, i know that you had to of thought of having him prosecuted for this, and i surely would if it's not taken care of properly!!!! this is horrible, and i truly do feel for you mom!!!! take care, and just remember to do what's best for your daughter! first and foremost, but i'm sure you already know this!!!!
2006-08-25 08:13:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You most definitely need outside intervention. Call a social service agency for a recommendation...pay whatever it costs. Your husband overstepped his authority here...I take it the child is not his...makes it worse. He has a definite problem and probably cannot be helped but it will be YOUR fault if you don't take action on this matter NOW. Pick uip the phone lady and do it. You cannot handle this alone and do whatever is recommended.
2006-08-29 07:09:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
at the moment, it is more important that you make sure your daughter is okay. she could be feeling very victimized and vulnerable right now.
it would probably best to talk to your husband and your daughter separately, as one may be uncomfortable talking to you about it around the other.
if your husband is willing to get help from a therapist, then i recommend separating the daughter and husband while he goes through some counseling, and when he feels he has worked through his issues, perhaps they could both go to a family counselor or therapist to try to straighten things out between them.
hope you find a way to work it out.
2006-08-25 08:10:42 · answer #5 · answered by rc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing first he needs to get out of the home with your daughter. If you want to help him that is fine but she shouldn't be punished because he has a problem.
2006-08-29 06:29:25 · answer #6 · answered by april j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes if your husband tried to touch his own daughter id say seek help fast
2006-08-25 08:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by Heart S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have just the therapy he needs. It's called a browning street sweeper. A SHOTGUN!
2006-08-25 08:34:49 · answer #8 · answered by Enough 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all of u need therapy immediately. don't leave her alone w/ ur husband, cause even if he doesn't want to, the temptation might be too strong.
2006-08-25 08:07:29 · answer #9 · answered by lady sixx 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you seek professional help. It may still help you with these issues
2006-08-25 08:09:30 · answer #10 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋