My ex-boyfriend has been my ex for going on 9yrs, but we have always remained friends. Problem is this is his 2nd time getting married and I don't know if there is any etiquette issues about me showing up. His first wife was not comfortable with our relationship although it is absolutely plutonic and would never become anything more. I'm leaning toward not going and just sending a very nice wedding gift to them. Any thoughts?
2006-08-25 07:46:20 · 19 answers · asked by Ms Bella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
don't go, by just sending your gift, you're simply telling him that you still care for him deeply, but his choices are not something that you agree with.
2006-08-25 12:02:12 · answer #1 · answered by ms_mashi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a wife myself, I wouldn't be comfortable with my husbands ex girlfriend attending our wedding. It wouldn't really matter to me what their relationship was. Selfish--maybe, but it is her day and I'm sure the last person she wants to see is you. No offense it's just how I would feel about it. If it is really important to the groom that you attend, maybe he should speak with his wife and make sure it's OK. I guess it depends on how the wife would feel. If I were you, I don't think I would be comfortable going. I would just send a gift. Good Luck with your decision :)
2006-08-25 08:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by **hope/faith**1744 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know what you expect from your relationship. And now when you say him as your friend - what it includes. See life is like a mirror - that copies to your actions.
I tell you that if you sow a seed, you reap a behaviour.
Rest just ponder upon it and decide what you feel good and best. as your ex is ex for 9 years - I found your relationship to be extremely wondeful in terms of time growth that you are not keeping same amateur feelings and hard expectations.
But at last you are the judge to yours choices. take care
2006-08-25 09:51:10 · answer #3 · answered by nothing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 years is along time, and if the two of you are truly friends, it shouldn't be a problem. it seems kind of high-schoolish to not want someone's ex-girlfriend at your wedding even though there's absolutely nothing going on between them. people believe you can never be friends with an ex, but half the time a friendship between ex's is impossiible because the new guy/girl is uncomfortable or seething with jealousy.
go to the ceremony and wish them well, but don't go to the reception.
2006-08-25 08:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by discoballz82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should send them a nice gift!well i understand thatyou two will never be no more than friends but the fiance wount because its very heard for her!try and put your self i her position,but i dont know maybe you wouldnt act jealus because you have been through the same.well even if you trust your fiance you still get thoughts like what if the still have the sparks for eachother i hope you get my point and i wish you all the luck!i hope i helped atleast a little
2006-08-25 09:20:59 · answer #5 · answered by victoria k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were sent an invitation and you have a positive relationship with his fiancee then I see no reason why you shouldn't go. After nine years, everyone should be able to put aside the "ex" part and realize you two are merely friends.
2006-08-25 07:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by 4532 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its HER big day..not so much his. If she doesn't feel comfortable with your relationship with him (as innocent as it may be) it would be rude to attend her wedding. Your friend will likely be to consumed with the wedding and his new bride to notice if you are there, but she will notice and it might make things uncomfortable. Don't go. Send a great gift :-)
2006-08-25 10:04:13 · answer #7 · answered by Mommy-of-Twins 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go to the wedding; don't send a gift. Leave them alone. (I'm glad that its plutonic, and not platonic, since pluto has been banished from the solar system.)
2006-08-25 11:50:28 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/uE3vQ
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-29 21:11:42 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to agree with everyone on here and say don't go to his wedding.Because it will only make his soon to be wife very uncomfortable that you are there.and don't send a gift just send them a card with a gift card in it. so that way she wont be saying why is she sending us a gift when i don't even know her. good luck
2006-08-25 08:20:13 · answer #10 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think not going and just sending a very nice gift would be the best idea.
2006-08-25 08:00:29 · answer #11 · answered by kat81886 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋