Should I hate my mother?

Question

My mother has never been a mom. She's been a druggy friend. I left her when I was 9, and up until about 6 months ago, she's had an influence on me. We aren't talking now because of her husband, and because she disowned my 13 yr old brother because of his sexuality. She's nothing to me. Do you think it's healthy? I haven't talked to her in about 5 months.

Answer 1

mom is a mom.
deep inside she likes you.

my mom ditched us when i was 8.she ended up dead around christmas...and we had to go to her funeral.
she gave me the worst holiday in my life.she gave dad heart desiease and she made me over weight when i was little.


i HATED HER GUTS
but after when she died she left us jewlery as a"sorry forgive me"
i realized she died by tring to come back to us from san farnscio and she accidently fell asleep and ended up dead in the car

Answer 2

No, you shouldn't hate her.

She's a bad mom, but hating her will drag you down. Don't let her negative behavior do that to you. Have compassion or pity for her, but don't hate her. Try your best to be better than her and to make your life better.

It's good to avoid her. Sounds like she's living in a really toxic situation. Avoiding her means less of that situation will rub off on you.

She's not there for you, so maybe it's time for you to find someone who is. Look for somebody you can talk to about her and any of your other problems on a regular basis. Talk to your brother. Talk to people who've been through this. Talk to friends, teachers, therapists -- anybody you can trust with your problems.

She's your mom, and she's a big part of your life. She really screwed up, and you have a right to be mad at her. But don't hate her. That'll end up hurting you more.

Answer 3

I've heard people say " you should love your parents now matter what" Bull**** These people have had good parents..or they have been taught to take crap. then I heard one person say.." Parents don't automaticlly get respect, they should earn it and most don't" I agree with that! I hate my mother. She is a drinker. Omg.. I cant even begin to say how she ripped apart my family for years.. we finally kicked her out. She never comes around, only when she needs things. She is 48 and doesn't have a job just sits in her trailer all day. I f-ing hate her. I'm ashmed I came out of her. From my point of view, its never healthy to be angry. But considering what she's done to you. You have every right to feel that way. Remember, its YOUR 'mother'. I know how it feels, it's a crappy feeling. You have every right to feel what you do. No one else has felt what you have and you did. No one knows how it affects you, like you do. If my mom died, I could care less to attened the funeral. Just because people have sex and have a child doesn't mean they are fit to raise one.

Answer 4

Dont hate her. She is still a person who gave birth to you. However, you should not let her lifestyle affect how you feel about yourself either. She needs help and needs to get into some sort of rehab.
Just look to people who are more together and dont do drugs to look up to. You dont have to live your life hating her but you dont have to let her be an influence on you either.
Good luck to you..remember, hate is toxic and all you can do is hope someday she will wake up and realize what she is doing to herself and her children. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

I think if she has that many problems, it's probably healthier for you to separate from her for the time being. Find other mother figures in your life. Maybe an aunt or an older neighbor. Eventually you will realize that your mother is a flawed person, and there are many flawed people in the world.

Answer 6

If you choose to hate , this will be your choice. Nothing that parents do will make you decide how to feel. This is up to you. Just as a reminder, Hate will cause all kinds of negative things to happen, even chemical reactions inside of you. For example, in digestion..... if you are feeling Hate, you food will not digest as well. You will feel tired and angry. If that is the way you wish to live, it is completely up to you. Parents that do drugs are just trying to cope with how bad they messed up in life. That is not your fault. She is also entitled to her opinion about your brothers sexuality. She probably feels like it is her fault and is embarrassed, so she is against it. When you get to the point where you can accept her the way she, then you can call her Mom. Nobody, I don't care who you are, is perfect. He who is without sin, may cast the first stone. Yes, I have a story too. My Dad- Beat and molested my Mother and I. From the time I was born until age 8. He was a violent alcoholic. It was a horrible exsistance. I begged my Mom to leave. We believed if he caught us trying to leave that he would kill us. He was a very large man. 6'8''. Finally, one night, she got the courage to call the cops, after he had told her to go pack our bags that he was going to take us to west virginia. OF course if we had gotten in the car, we all would have died. The cops took him to a rehab where he couldn't leave for a while. I would only see him , after he got out for a few short minutes , if I ran across him in public. I never really tried to make peace with him. I was scared to death of him. Toward the end of his life- He had a heart attack, from congestive heart failure. Had a quadruple bypass and lived for four years after. During that time he tried his darndest to make up for his crimes. When He died. I cried so hard for so many reasons. Most of all , I wished my Dad had better parents that could have raised him better. So that I would have had a good Dad. Life really is not fair. We will never know God's purpose for all of the bad stuff in life, but we must take them as lessons to help each other with. I cannot hate my Dad. I choose not to . I feel that he was conditioned that way. He never knew anything different. I prayed that God would take him to heaven and forgive him. Best of luck for you.

Answer 7

The Bible teaches that even if we don't agree with our parents or their decisions, we must honor them and show them love and respect. I understand though, that it is hard for you to treat your mother like a mother when she's never acted like one, but you should honor and obey her even though she has made some bad decisions in her life. You should stick by her and try to help her, but I don't think you should get involved if the situation is not healthy for you. Just pray for her and the situation. Good luck!

Answer 8

You have a right to be mad. But she's still your mother. You should try to talk to her but if it doesn't go well then it's not worth your time and it may be healthier to avoid her since she could cause you alot of anger and unwanted stress by making you angry when she's around. She will always be your mother no matter what and will always have feelings for you even if she doesn't show them.

Answer 9

Drug abuse is a illness. Your mom is ill. Would you hate her if she had cancer? I bet not. But she has made a choice to put drugs before you and your siblings. Some parents are toxic and just cause us pain and grief. Often its best to try and move on and make a happy life for yourself. And vow you'll never end up like her!

Answer 10

I'm so sorry my sweet!!! Your mother has never grown up. Moving place to place, marriage after marriage. She has no idea what it's like to be a mom/wife because she doesn't even know herself. Please don't hate her, hate the evil drug that has taking her from you. Hold on to your brother move forward and have a wonderful life.