Thinkers Anonymous, will it work?

Question

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then -- just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to
another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to
think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and
employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir,
Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it
hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem.

If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confess, "I've been thinking..." "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors.
They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.

This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

SO..................

Today I took the final step............ I joined the Republican Party !!

(by the way, I didn't write this, so you'd better call me on it, will)

Answer 1

Dare to think for yourself? Go figure.

Answer 2

It exists, its called Islam. The UN Report on the middle east, published several years ago confirms this very thing.

PS -- Dont play pseudo-critical thinker. Political correctness is the opposite of critical thinking, and youre easily one of the most weak-minded pc drones in here. Every fool who went to college remember modus pones or other "syllogisms", but applying logic is an entirely different thing.

Answer 3

Very nice. LOL But who would really want to stop thinking? If you need a break from it, try marijuana, m-kay. They let you escape the constant thinking for a while, but you always come back to it when the effect wears off. Just kidding m-kay?

Answer 4

Thank you for sharing your story - I totally relate and identify with your road!!!! It was also a fun distraction from all the negative, angry writing that's done on this forum.

Answer 5

thinking is not bad, what are you suppose to do, walk around a numb skull? No, seriously, you should ask your dr. for anti depressants or try saint johns wort (natural herb) You sound like me alittle and sounds like you may be depressed?

Answer 6

If you spent as much time thinking as you do writing (very well written by the way) you would be a Libertarian.

Answer 7

To thinking, the cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems!

Except for the part where it's the cause.

Answer 8

Nice cut and paste job from here:

http://raft.wash.org/thinkers.html

Answer 9

Great idea! Wonderful way to live spontaneously.

Answer 10

LOL!

I like it, gave me a good laugh