Okay, I have a nephew who's quite a handful with psychological and emotional problems all of his life. But I love the kid and we've always had a close and decent relationship. I just learned he had an account on myspace.com (he told me), which didn't thrill me but it's his choice. Well I finally got around to searching myspace and I found his account.
OMG! He's lied about his age, and his myspace is filled with vulgarity and racial slurs. I was shocked. Am I overreacting?
Should I have a heart-to-heart talk with him about this or is it just what kids today do? Should I ignore it or explain to him why racial slurs and intolerance are wrong? He's never had a lot of friends and he's never "fit in" with kids his age. He's a minor, but not a child any more.
2006-08-25 07:00:21 · 17 answers · asked by kja63 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That's quite a dilemma you have there; I'm sorry to hear it.
He shared the fact that he had a MySpace account. Given that, I would say have the heart-to-heart with him, because that most certainly isn't "just what kids do today." It is unfortunate that many kids do in fact behave this way, but that doesn't make it acceptable. It continues (and actually gets worse with each generation) because it's tolerated - parents do not discipline and teach their children like they used to. Standards have dropped considerably and it's a damned shame.
2006-08-25 07:08:55 · answer #1 · answered by nyboxers73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, By all means u should have a heart to heart with him and help him to understand what he did and how it was wrong. Cause if he did that there that maybe something he does in person. And part of the problems he has with fitting in.I mean if he has problems.I understand that but if he new enough to do all of that and then tell u he had used your account.He is not that immature or that confused and he will not ever fit in or get things straight. As long as he is treat like because he has problems what he does is OK.There are ways to talk to him and make him understand just like everyone else and it sounds as if he needs someone to do that for him so he can start to get things straight.And I am speaking from alot of experience point of view here.good luck
2006-08-25 14:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by motherof319662000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't use that expression even in jest...you're right to be worried..yes it's what "kids" talk like these days although you wonder how many are actually kids and how sane some of these people really are.
Kids should not be talking to strangers..plain and simple...that is a rule in my house and nobody breaks it period. I don't have a problem with discipline in my household because you have to start it at a young age and enforce it constantly. If you keep the lines of communication open and respect each other, your kids will grow up smart and avoid getting involved in "chats" or other forms of communications online.
They should have enough friends that they don't need to be talking to strangers...physical activities such as sports are the best way to encourage your children to forge friendships.
2006-08-25 14:09:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and speak to him. There is a reason why authorities are saying to closely monitor any minor on the computer if he has as many problems as you say he should be in counseling. Get him some counseling and speak with the counselor about what is wrong. Normal kids should never find racism or vulgarity OK.
2006-08-25 14:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's disturb and needs attention. He probably feels a lot of anger inside since you said he doesn't have a lot of friends. He's feeling lonely. Healthy kids with lots of friends today don't go through that type of cycle. You should sit him down and rather than asking him about his myspace.com account. Tell him how you feel if you saw something like that if it belongs to your own kid. Don't do any finger pointing at him, it'll just make him mad at you. Good luck!
2006-08-25 14:07:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying to attract attention... negative or positive.
Have him watch some old sanford and son or all in the family re-runs and point out the bigotry in it without letting on that you know about his racial slurs on his site.
Report him to myspace so that his sight is removed.
2006-08-25 14:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by ladyinlab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a nightmare. YES absolutely talk to this kid, but talk to his parents first!!! They should be the ones to address this (unless they're the source of the problem). Seriously, to just let this go and let the kid go through life using that type of thinking is not doing him any favors. Definitely intervene on this one....hopefully his parents can get the page deleted.
2006-08-25 14:04:53 · answer #7 · answered by M K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that there's a reason why he told you what his account was. I don't know you or this child or your relationship, but to me it sounds like a cry for help. Maybe he thinks you can help him. Of course, maybe he's proud of himself for all the stuff on there and he thinks it's all right. It's hard to say, but I do think you shouold talk to him and see what is the matter. Possibly counseling or psychotherapy is in order.
2006-08-25 14:09:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should talk to him about it. You need to determine if he just did this for fun or if this is really how he feels and how he views the world. Never be afraid to have a conversation with a kid and ask them why.
2006-08-25 14:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking to him will not work. Go on myspace and report him. Do it the adult way. Or make up your account and talk about him.
2006-08-25 14:05:21 · answer #10 · answered by Justine J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋