So me and this guy kinda hooked up the other night and we are just friends with benefits if you will..(mainly bc neither of us want a relationship and i just got out of a 5 year marriage)...but my friends found out that something happened between us and are kind of being a pain in the *** about it. We are going camping and they kept bugging me to ask him to go and I refused to...so they asked him and they keep pressing him to go when it seems more then obvious that he doesnt really want to go. He has work tomorrow and they just offered my car to him to use to drive back and forth. I just dont want to make a big issue out of it but I dont want him to think that its me thats pressing the issue for him to go...what would you guys do? I know it sounds dumb but I want him to be sure that I understand our arrangement and that Im not looking for him to be anything more...
2006-08-25 06:05:33 · 12 answers · asked by sicofitall325 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay, first of all my question isn't about the sanctity of friends with benefits ...and for the record we didnt sleep together...i just didnt know how else to catergorize it...I just want to know how to handle my friends and him without either of them getting offended or having my intentions misconstrued...
2006-08-25 06:37:08 · update #1
*Pandora The Cat*
Please spare me your judgemental words that have nothing to do with the question that I had asked. You know nothing of what you talk about and I don't appreciate the fact that you were so quick to write me off. I labeled my relationship with my friend as "fw/b" because of the fact that we did make out and I did actually sleep with him (as in actually sleeping..zzz...). He is my friend and that was a benefit but there was absolutely no sex involved. We agreed upon not getting serious for the fact that he is moving in about a month or so and because of the fact that I am not ready for to hop back into a committed relationship. My divorce was recent and I feel that it is completely acceptable and fine to date around without any intention of having things get serious. But that doesnt mean that I am sleeping around for God's sake. So please in the future, refrain from passing judgement if ur going to answer a question then answer the actual question...
2006-08-25 06:50:14 · update #2
First you need to tell your "friends" to mind their own f*cking business. Then you need to call this guy and tell him what you just told us. I'm sure he'll understand.
2006-08-25 06:08:54 · answer #1 · answered by gemone523 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
And yet don't want to offend him by addressing the issue with him. Quite considerate on your part.
But address the problem. your friends don't seem to understand the situation and are trying to be too smart. tell them this before things get out of hand, and quickly qpologise on your friends behalf to him nonchanlantly and that you didnt want this to happen.
Your friends are assuming they need to help you out in finding a mate since they feel bad and want to 'help' you get your life in place again...this is normal for good friends i suppose. just address the issue with them kindly, and u also owe them an explanation since they are being so concerned for your welfare...
2006-08-25 13:12:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
THE "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" GAME ONLY LASTS FOR SO LONG......
EVENTUALLY ONE OF YOU WILL FEEL FULFILLED IN ONE OR TWO ASPECTS OF LIFE AND THEN BEGIN TO WISH THE OTHER WOULD FULFILL OTHER ASPECTS....
FWB IS A GREAT WAY TO AVOID INTIMACY, BUT SOMEONE WILL END UP DISAPPOINTED.
I THINK IT WILL BE YOU WHO WILL EVENTUALLY FEEL HURT.
WHILE YOU ARE SO BUSY TRYING TO BE "COOL WITH" PUTTING OUT FOR A GUY WHO ONLY LIKES YOU FOR THE SEX, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BECOME ASHAMED WITH YOURSELF OR WANT A RELATIONSHIP TO JUSTIFY YOUR BEHAVIOR.
YOUR FRIENDS ARE ALREADY ATTEMPTING TO MANIPULATE THE SITUATION FOR YOU, AND PUSH THINGS INTO A RELATIONSHIP. THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE GAME YOU ARE PLAYING.
IF YOU HAVE A HARD TIME TRYING TO TELL OR EXPLAIN THINGS TO THEM, THEN YOU PROBABLY KNOW DEEP DOWN THAT IT'S WRONG TO DO IN THE FIRST PLACE.
YOUR FRIENDS LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU, AND THEY WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. THEY ARE GOING ABOUT IT ALL WRONG, BUT THEIR HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU DESERVE MORE FROM A MAN THAN TO BE HIS SEX TOY? DO YOU THINK YOU NEED TO PUT OUT TO MAKE GUYS LIKE YOU?
OR DO YOU STILL CARRY BAGGAGE FROM YOUR FAILED MARRIAGE AND KNOW IT WILL CONTAMINATE A FUTURE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET GO OF IT?
TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS AND THANK THEM FOR THEIR GOOD INTENTIONS, EXPLAIN TO THEM ABOUT THE GAME YOU ARE PLAYING, AND ASK THEM TO RESPECT WHAT YOU SAID YOU WANTED. THAT WAY, YOU ALL WIN.
2006-08-25 13:33:26 · answer #3 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your friends to mind their business. Then tell him that they are anxious to see you get back into a relationship but you are not ready for that just yet. And let him know that even though they offered your car to him that its not theirs to offer and your not offering. Then tell him the last line of what you've just explained to us and he should more than understand.
2006-08-25 13:15:14 · answer #4 · answered by ♥♪ TrickNice ♪♥ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just talk to him and explain your friends came up with this idea and ur totally cool with the way things are right now...no pressure on him to go and tell ur friends to chill out..u can make ur own decisions ur a big girl now lol
2006-08-25 13:09:29 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ YaHabibeDisney ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your other friends to back off. It's none of their business and all it's doing is pi$sing you guys off.
2006-08-25 13:16:34 · answer #6 · answered by Jessie P 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just talk to him and tell him your friends can be pretty strange at times! HE should understand!
2006-08-25 13:10:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
DANG GIRL! NEVER HAVE A FRIEND WITH BENEFITS MAKE THIS THING OFFICIAL... I MEAN ONCE THEY RECEIVE ALL THE BENFITS THAT THEY WANT THEY DONT WANT TO BE BOTHERD ANYMORE AND THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
2006-08-25 13:09:12 · answer #8 · answered by Justice A 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your friends to bud out....
2006-08-25 13:15:51 · answer #9 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell them your not going to go and to stop asking him to go
2006-08-25 13:13:21 · answer #10 · answered by imslipperynwet 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋