About 3 months ago me and her were really close, we really both liked each other. It was obvious. But she's only 13, and I had just turned 15. Well, people started talking about it, and she backed off. So about a week later, I asked her out, afraid of her backing off further, she said I Dont Know. I took it as a nice way of saying no, but didnt understand why she would say no, I mean, we were so close, more than friends. So she continued to back off, at that time she told her friends she might date me, that she just wanted to see if I could stick with her, cause i've had many girls. Well fast forward 3 months. Now she barely even talks to me, she seems to really like this other guy, and like I dont even exist anymore. I dont knowy why? I mean i didnt do anything to push her that far away. And now she is telling her friends she doestn like me at all, she just dont wanna hurt my feelings. Ok, heres where it gets confusing. Her and her mom are REALLY REALLY close, they tell each other everything. Well her mom likes me alot, she told me, that if she could pick anyone for her daughter to date, it would be me. But, she also said that her daughter was REALLY scared, because we were so close, and she is afraid that if we ever break up, it will totally ruin the friendship, which I can understand. But her mom said that if I really really like someone else, that i should move on, but if I really really like her daughter than i should continue to pursue her. I know her mom isnt lying to me, she would tell me straight up, if her daughter dont like me. Well heres the problem, I am so confused, i feel like I am putting this first priority in my life. Ahead of God, I dont want to, but I really really have strong feelings for this girl, and i just cant let her go. My question is, what should i do? I mean what do you think? Do you think she likes me, or she just dont wanna hurt my feelings, or what? I mean one day it will seem like she totally wants to takl to me, the next, she wont even reply to my email, that she sent the day before. .. Please tell me what you think she is doing, thinking about me, and what I should do if I have any chance left with her, I know I sound crazy, but , I really really care for her, more than anyone I've ever known.
Additional Details
10 minutes ago
but i mean now, she barely noticicies im there, i mean..why wouldnt she like me anymore.. i didnt do anything to make her stop
2006-08-25 04:50:40 · 19 answers · asked by how many 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You two are pretty young so these things happen, and she's probably just afraid. I recall an incident in my own past that barely resembles this situation, but the premesis is kind of the same. Maybe it will help you?
I'm 18 now, but about 2 years ago, I became best friends with a girl. We were inseperable for months, but of course, I began to feel romantically towards her. I thought she felt the same (like you did) and she said she didn't. Girls don't always express things the same way that guys do, so the way she was being wasn't anything "romantic", I had just mis-interpreted her normal ways.
Anyhow, she said "Maybe one day we can be together" and I took it literally, but inside I knew she was just cutting me some slack. But, a fool in love will do whatever it takes, so I waited for about a 6 months and what do you know, she actually accepts to be my girlfriend.
It didn't go well.
We argued and broke-up within 2 days, but it my fault. I was growing up and I was venting my anger upon the one person who I really cared about. Anyway, we didn't speak for another 6 months, but we begin to naturally rekindle again over time - I see it as fate. Now, we're a couple and the closest people in the world - I am totally in love with her.
I tell you the story because she told me THIS when I brought up the fact that she had originally told me she didn't feel for me in a romantic way:
"I only said it because I was young and scared, and I wasn't ready for a relationship. I did like you, but I didn't know what to do and it was just easier for me to tell you I didn't."
Good luck, kid.
2006-08-25 05:10:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe... its kind of difficult, maybe she is just afraid of commitment u know being 13, but who wouldn't want a bf at that age? especially someone that would care for her as much as u do. She says shes afraid if that if u guys brack up it will ruin the friendship, but as of now u can hardly call that friendship. The girl needs to make her mind up, sometime girls do stupid things maybe right now she says she like the other dude only to hide her true feelings. I think u need to talk to her an tell her how u feel, let her think about it, and if she continues to be the way she is; well she is just going to loose some one of great importance. I know u like this girl a lot but u cant be stressing so much over her. Think about it ur only 15, there will be more girls out there for u. It is so true what they say " If u love something let it go, if it comes back its yours. If it doesn't it never was." OK think about that.
2006-08-25 05:14:20 · answer #2 · answered by Twilight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is 13 and you are 15, you said yourself that you have been with many girls before her. I would say that there are some things going around the grapevine about you and she has caught wind of it. You need to find out what is being said and set her straight about it. If her mom wouldn't lie to you and you beleive what she is saying about her daughter, then take her advice and continue to persue her daughter and she will come around if indeed she really does just want to see if you can stick with her no matter what. If not, then move on, keep a friendship with her with e-mails just talking about whatever and go on dating because you are young and you have many more gf that you are going to meet and date. A friendship is better then nothing at all, if you can have that. blessed be.
2006-08-25 05:01:04 · answer #3 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, first of all, you are young, she is young. And sometimes feelings change. She is mature enough to understand this and that could be what's pushing her away. She could possibly care so much that they thought of not having you in her life at all is worse than knowing what its like to love and be loved by you and then loosing it. Because, not many ex's are still friends. If you're truly as close as you say you are, then call or write her, simply ask her if you can talk to her. and then, talk to her in person, sit her down and explain your feelings and ask her to explain hers. And if she's as close to her mom as you say she is and you don't care for her mom to know how you feel, then if you & her need someone there besides just you & she when you talk, ask her mom to sit there with you while you sort this out. BUT before you SAY you really care (as more than a friend), Make sure you do. Love is so complex, thats why it gets so many of us in so many strange situations.
2006-08-25 05:00:23 · answer #4 · answered by Unmade Promises 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am alittle older than you and heres my advice....
I think that if you back off alittle she might have the time to realize what she really wants. Give her some more space to realize either way. If she really is just tring to spear your feelings and talk to you sometimes, but is confused- do you really want a realationship to start off all confusing? Maybe you should move on and if it's ment to be she knows where to find you I'm guessing.
Besides, your still to young to be so worried about one girl. Even if you hooked up with her, the chances of both of you growing old together isn't very probable.
2006-08-25 05:06:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of the issue here is simply her age. At 13 a girl is still figuring out what it is that she likes. You need to give her space and continue to be her friend without putting any pressure on her. Her mom may like you very much, but she cannot make her daughter date you and you wouldn't want that anyway.
I think you should move on with your life and simply offer her friendship. She may decide she does like you, you just need to give her the time and space to figure that out.
2006-08-25 04:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like you said, sounds like she's afraid of losing you as her friend. But, that poem sure was pretty. But, friendship is very important, One of my friends and I had a short relationship and were the best of friends now, there is a difference, a distance between us that never would've happened if we would have just remained friends. And I don't regret being with him, but, I do miss that closeness we once had and its just not the same.
2006-08-25 05:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to her, just you two. Don't get second hand information, as likely it is wrong. She may lie to people. That's all I can tell you. I wish you the best of luck.
Don't put her as a first priority. It may hurt, but you need to lead your own life. If she wants to be a part of it, that's great. But if your religion is important to you, attend church and do what you can do for people. Do NOT let your grades slide, as they are so important for your future. She's still important to you, but you have to look out for yourself as well, m'dear.
I really hope you get what you want.
2006-08-25 04:57:29 · answer #8 · answered by cadence_lost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please throw all this energy into developing your interests and skills so that when you are a man, you will have something to offer a woman, children - and yourself.
Are your parents divorced? It seems to get kids interested in relationships way too young when their parents are divorced, so i was just wondering.
I totally remember being told I was too young, and being annoyed by it - funny thing is, they were right. You don't know what you don't know! You are far too young - and she ever younger - to be getting this worked up. For her mom to be telling you to pursue her is kinda creepy, too. SHe's toooooooo young.
2006-08-25 05:04:53 · answer #9 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's still young and so are you...There's alot of thing that she's afraid of...and worries for..Give her sometime..just be friends 1st alright? You have lots of time to win her love..
Just merely be by her side..when she's ready she will accept you or if she's ready and she choose other guys than you then i guess you should move on..as one thing about we gals is, once we decided firmly on one thing..nothing you do can touches us...
There's lots of sweeties out there..just take your time and explore the world 1st..she might not what you are looking for..Since both of you are so young now..
2006-08-25 04:59:49 · answer #10 · answered by barelyahrie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋