Do you tend to think what life would be with someone before getting into a relationship with him/her?

Question

I often overanalyze stuff. Like: what would be my future with her, will she be lazy, will she bring me a lot problems.. those kind of stuff. I am dating someone right now and the more I get to know her, the more questions I accrue. Like I found out that she stopped school and is not planning to go school soon. For me, that shows laziness and lack of direction in life. She is also not outgoing and she is shy who is like me which I don't like because I think I would like an outgoing person. Sometimes I think that I would just break her heart if we ever have a deeper relationship and I hate doing that. I did it once and I still feel guilty even now. Do you guys ever overthink sometimes like me? Overthinking often tends to make my mind wishy washy about going into relationships. I often create scenarios in my mind like ah she is such a tease and would cheat on me or ah this girl spends too much.. I don't want to be working all for her.. those kinds of stuff. Do you do that?

Answer 1

Yes, most of us do that. I think it's healthy to a point, as long as you're not expecting to find someone totally perfect out there. Otherwise, you might end up in a committed relationship with someone and then find out you don't really like them.

Answer 2

I think I am the QUEEN of overanalyzing. I try to think of what the outcome will be for ever possible situation. I haven't always been like that but I think being hurt one to many times has made me proceed with an extreme amount of caution. Sometimes it keeps me from getting what I really want or need to and I am working on not doing so much. I am not a risk taker anymore but I am finding out that sometimes taking a little risk is well worth it.

About the school thing, maybe there is more to it. You can't just say that everyone who quits school is lazy and has a lack of direction. I quit school to because I was offered a job that pays more than the job I would be able to get even if I finished school. It gave me another avenue to explore. I might go back to school one day but probably not for the same thing.

Answer 3

Yes, that is only natural to think like that. But when your with someone you care about. Things can change. Only time can really tell if your meant for each other. Nothing is ever the way you want it to be (Perfect) no such thing. But that's why time takes will only tell to really know if that person is what you want in life. Life is not fair and sometimes we end up with a broken heart. That is what life is all about (It's a Challenge)

Answer 4

Nope, I don't. I just go for it. If I have a feeling about somebody what's the harm in starting something? Besides it's more fun being spontanious.

Man, some things are meant to be overanalyzed but you are taking it to the extreme. LIVE A LITTLE! WHoop! That's what life is all about, taking chances, screwing up, moving on.

HAve fun and good luck.

Answer 5

yes sometimes but nothing is sure in this world... many things will change in time and I learned its not healthy(sometimes) to think ahead because first thing you never know who you will fall inlove with meaning you don't know the real attitude of the person. Being futuristic with someone is fine but dont expect too much that things will fall in place as we wanted it.

Just trust your partner its all what you need. Its easy to say but I know its really hard to do but just learn how to trust your partner since you both love each other...In time, as you go on with life you will learn how to deal with relationship.

Well, if you are worried about your future partner, better know the person very well for you to avoid your fears... accept the person for who she is... and you'll learn how to understand how love works..

Answer 6

I overanalyze everything! Especially with potential mates...that's why I never date (well, part of the reason). Probably not a healthy attitude though...but at the same time, you should be with someone you respect and enjoy being with. If you feel going to school is important and your girlfriend doesn't want to for whatever reason, then you shouldn't be with her.

Answer 7

I do it all the time. I did it in my last relationship but I ignored everything I felt about her. I thought she was lazy, I thought she was insensitive; I often thought she would be capable of cheating on me. These thoughts were constantly on my mind, but I ignored them and convinced my self I could change her. Huge mistake on my part, I let the relationship continue and we ended up getting married. It took me 5 years to realized that I couldn't change her and that I couldn’t continue ignoring my thoughts. She actually got worse, became increasingly lazy and the nicer I treated her the crueler she became. There was no way I was going to continue to hurt my self by staying with her. I felt like she was dragging me down me down with her, it literally felt like she was sucking the energy out of me. Breaking up with her was the toughest thing I’ve done. I felt really bad about my self, I felt worthless, like my love meant nothing. I pored my hearth and sole into that relationship trying to make it work and all she did was hurt me. After I broke up with her I found out she was calling a guy “friend” of mine trying to convince him to fly over so she could see him. My point is that I knew how she was and how our relationship would end up; I ignored it and lost 5 years of my life. If you feel like this now it is not going to go away. Don’t waste your time or hers, leave before either one of you gets hurt.


Sh!t im the only guy thats answerd this so far!!

Answer 8

I tend to over think things, but it's usually anything but relationships. But that's going to be my new thing. To start questioning things earlier, instead of wasting my time with someone I won't want to end up being with. I think it's very practical of you, and shows that you know what you want and what you don't.

Answer 9

i am not a guy but i am like you. may be i am Little bit suspicious in my everyday life so if any guy wants to be just a Friend i got cold feet and begin asking my self million of questions so i decide to be at ease by refusing every contact may be i am a little bit conservative but that is better than to be worried.

Answer 10

I'm like you (over analytical). You sound like your not so happy with this relationship. You need to analyze how your life would be without her. Take it from there and make sure your decision works for you.