He is a workaholic but doesn't finish anything and he is divorced with children and an ex-wife who uses them to control his life. He's been divorced-so he says-6 years and this has been on going. We also live in different towns and I know nothing about him except what he tells me. He can't take me to his town because of the ex and kid situation. We've been together 5 months--dates are sporatic because of work and kid weekends and almost all dates he's at minimum 1 hour late ususally more. He calls me several times a day and every night before bed. He's already telling me he loves me and wants a futureafter telling me his ex ran-off his last girlfriend via turning the kids against him?I asked him not to make plans he wasn't sure he could keep. We also agreed on one whole day together on non-kid weekends. On our last due weekend I find out on Thursday he has plans for work and kids all weekend. He said I was only doing what you asked not making plans I couldn't keep? theres more
2006-08-25 04:40:58 · 23 answers · asked by boonsierra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, pretty much.
2006-08-25 04:43:55 · answer #1 · answered by Drew 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The beginnings of a new relationship should be a happy, exciting time where you are on top of the world. Obviously, this guy is lying to you, and even if he's being honest that is waaaaay too much drama and baggage to enter into a fresh relationship with you. You did the right thing by dumping him, I wouldn't have put up with all of that either. And why would you want to be with someone who wasn't even willing to show you his town? Have a little self-respect and you'll find someone who will treat you right and make time for you, no matter what else is going on in his life.
2006-08-25 11:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it sounds like he still has some growing up to do.
I am also divorced with children, and at first my relationship with my ex made life very difficult. But at some point you have to be an adult and sit down with them and let them know that you are going move on and to have a life. He also needs to tell the ex that new people will be a part of their children's life and that she needs to trust that he will not bring people in until he knows that he is committed to the new person. His ex is going to have to accept this, just as he will have to accept new people in his ex's life. They are both going to have to understand the circumstances of their break-up no longer matter, no one has just cause to impose their will on the other, it is over and they need to move on. It is the adult thing to do, and if either cannot get past their personal insecurities, then you need to move on, because it will only be more difficult for you.
2006-08-25 11:52:56 · answer #3 · answered by johnnashiscrazy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like he has you close to the bottom of his list of priorities.
He has purposely not let you get to know him. You are right you know very little of him. He may still be married. It's one thing to let the kids take his time but his ex-wife should be completely out of the picture.
If when you do get together you always end up in bed my guess that is what he needs from you and will continue to take it as long as you let him.
You were justified.
2006-08-25 11:51:31 · answer #4 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are justified if you wanna call it that. But to actually find a man that works and spends time with his kids!! I guess he wasn't spending enough time with you and I understand you being upset. But you went into it knowing this I assume? But a mans responsibility is to his children first and he has to make money to support them. You did the right thing here but I'm thinking it for his best and not yours, sorry
2006-08-25 11:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by momie_2bee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm I think that man is still a married man. If he was single he would want to take you to his town. He is saying it is a work thing but I think it is a family thing. If he was wanting to spend time with you why would it only be for an hour. Find someone else your being played with. You did the right thing.
2006-08-25 11:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dated a guy like this. It was a horror show, so glad I'm out of it now. He never had time for me, his ex was a witch, and his kids ran his life. If you dont' have kids, don't date someone with kids either!
2006-08-25 11:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by Elizabeth 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say yes you are justified in let him go, you don't want to get dragged into his problem, you need a life of your own with you own victories as well as your own failure...and yes we all failure once in a while, remember just because you fell of the bike does not mean that have to stop trying
2006-08-25 11:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by aprado2001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give an ultitimatium about the work. Ask the question to yourself do you love him? and if you do, sit down and have a heart to heart. It is easier to have a man say he loves you but he needs to show you more than simple words. Good Luck.
2006-08-25 11:54:59 · answer #9 · answered by brogdenuk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you looking for a justification?....you can dump whomever you want. You don't need a reason and don't feel bad. He wasn't the one for you. Both of you have two separate ideas about what a relationship is suppose to be.
2006-08-25 11:46:00 · answer #10 · answered by voandginger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you made a good choice 2 dump the guy......... he's likely either seeing someone else or just seperated or even worse still married unless you did happen to go to his house then i'd still consider the fact that he is also seeing someone else.........
and if his exwife and kids have so much control over his life your life with him wouldn't have gone anywhere or you would have been unhapppy.............
2006-08-25 11:46:04 · answer #11 · answered by suesue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋