Seems the nicer I try to be the worse I make things. Especially with Donna @work. Just don't get it!! maybe I'm really thick or blind.
2006-08-25 04:25:11 · 21 answers · asked by st_john_gumby 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
? Inbuilt stupidity ?
2006-08-25 05:14:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop feeling that you have to be responsible for how others are feeling. If she is offended then that is her feeling to deal with. Don't break any company harrassment policies and don't worry about it. Sounds like Donna has a problem so don't talk to her. Stop trying to be a People Pleaser!
2006-08-25 04:30:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't often offend but i do put my foot in it a lot! A few months ago a man i worked with died we were all talking about it saying how sad it was! A little while later i was walking out the back and i kicked a bin my friend started laughing at me & I said at least I didn't kick the bucket! I couldnt belive what I had just said! I was so embarresed
2006-08-25 04:30:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
PERCEPTION DOES NOT EQUAL ITENT.
WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE OFTEN, DO NOT ASSUME THAT THEY HAVE BECOME PSYCHIC BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU WELL.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE REACT TOO QUICKLY TO THINGS YOU SAY AND GET BENT OUT OF SHAPE, EVEN WHEN THEY MISUNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT TO SAY.
SLOW DOWN, RELAX, YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT, NOR IS SHE.
YOU NEED TO DECIDE TO BE THE HERO. INSTIGATE THIS EXERCISE IN CONVERSATION. LISTEN TO HOW SHE ANSWERS YOU WITHOUT THINKING OF HOW TO DEFEND YOURSELF. ACCEPT WHAT SHE SAYS AND THANK HER FOR SHARING.
SHOW EMPATHY. ACCEPT HER PERCEPTION. WALK IN HER SHOES, SEE THROUGH HER EYES.....TELL HER WHAT YOU SEE AND GIVE HER A CHANCE TO SET YOU STRAIGHT. THEN, CLARIFY YOUR ACTUAL INTENT. APOLOGIZE FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING. HAVE HER TO THE SAME. THIS BUILDS TRUST AND RESPECT. IT ALSO GIVES YOU A CHANCE TO CLEAR THE AIR OF ANY GRUDGES OR GUILT. ("I SEE HOW YOU MIGHT BE FEELING CRITICIZED/ATTACKED BY WHAT I SAID....WHAT I REALLY MEANT TO CONVEY WAS.....")
TELL HER IN THE FUTURE, TO JUST ASK YOU WHAT YOU MEANT BY SOMETHING BEFORE GETTING UPSET, THAT SOMETIMES YOU SAY THINGS ALL WRONG. TELL HER THAT YOU ARE SOCAILLY RETARDED.
GIVE OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT FROM THEM. TRUST, RESPECT, ACCEPTANCE, ATTENTION, ADMIRATION, VALIDATION. GIVE THEM THAT EVEN IF THEY DON'T DESERVE IT. IT'S GOOD KARMA.
2006-08-25 04:46:01 · answer #4 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, St. John, calm down 1st of all. Its not the end of the world you know. You can be the sweetest person in the world to people and they are still going to treat you like dirt. I know. I work with 4 ladies and every morning I speak to them but they won't speak back. My supervisor told me its because I enter the job making more than they do because of my degree. They even went as far as telling her that they didn't want me to use their copy machine. The more polite and kind I am to them the worse they treat me. I just smile and thank God that my spirit isn't that ugly and I just pray for them. I'm not going anywhere until the Lord say so so I told them if this is how they want things to be thats fine with me but I am gonna continue to speak to them and continue to be kind whether they like it or not. I'm not about to go to hell because 4 women don't like me because I make more money than they do thats crazy. God bless you
2006-08-25 04:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
because you're trying so hard to be nice - you may be coming across as arrogant or something - just be yourself! Maybe you're not the problem at all - it may the people that you think you're offending.
2006-08-25 04:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk about neutral subjects, or try bringing in a treat to work if it's allowed. (Donuts, bagels, fruit, etc.) Offer her some of what you've brought in and maybe start small talk with her.
Of course maybe it isn't your fault and she's overly sensitive or just not very friendly. Relax and don't try so hard to be funny or charming. Be natural!
Good luck!
2006-08-25 04:29:53 · answer #7 · answered by MissJ 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Back up a bit and don't try so hard. Women don't like desperate or pushy. Give her a little space and let her come to you.
2006-08-25 04:35:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't try so hard to be nice and F@*k donna from work, she's a bush pig anyway!
2006-08-25 04:29:06 · answer #9 · answered by Captain Tandy 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My husband is the same way. I think he must have a mild case of aspergers.
2006-08-25 06:22:38 · answer #10 · answered by sgeorges13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say we create what we fear. You worry about not offending too much so in turn that is exactly the result you get.
2006-08-25 04:30:57 · answer #11 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋