Hey, I got grounded for lying to my parents. I know, i know...it was an extremely bad choice but i am grounded from everything, the phone, hanging out with friends...even leaving my school campus for lunch with my friends!!! I will be grounded for a MINIMUM of a month according to how and if my 'attitude' improves! I can't take it anymore...it's really beginning to take a toll on me and my bf's relationship and on me and my friends' relationships. I have tried to talk my parents into a lighter sentence but to no avail! To those of you who have been there...How do you deal with it? To parents...why do you ground us if you know we will probably go and do it again? Also parents, would you ground your child just as seriously if they lied to you? If not, what would you do?
2006-08-25 04:05:05 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm 17 by the way!
2006-08-25 04:05:22 · update #1
a lie is more then just a lie. its breaking a trust and for that u have to be punished and then re-earn the trust u threw away. it sucks to be grounded true but when your a parent or even a muture young adult u will see how important trust is . good luck on getting the trust back. parents dont like to be mean but we have to teach our children whats right and wrong before they are out in the world on their own. one day u will say u know what my parents might of not been perfect but they did their best and now im older im thankful they did all they did.
2006-08-25 04:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I am a parent.
I know it is hard for both parents and kids. At 17 you are too old for a spank, but still there has to be consequences for actions.
A month seems like a long time to you now, but in the long run it is a small amount of time.
The first thing that came to mind that might help is for you to keep a journal during this time. That would be a way for you to vent your feelings.
I have two daughters still at home 11 and 18. The thing I have done is ground or restrict them from certain privilages and I usually see good results.
If you are a Christian I would spend this time reading and studying God's word.
I hope this helps. As a parent I am willing to listen but only if my child is showing respect, so give it a try and HANG IN THERE!
best wishes and God Bless
2006-08-25 11:18:37 · answer #2 · answered by redeemed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I spent what seems to have been the majority of my adolescent life grounded. Extremely strict parents who never bent once on a sentence they had handed down. I totally sucked at the time and seemed as if there were no end in sight. I felt just as you do...that my boyfriend and friends were slipping away while I was on virtual lockdown. I look back upon the discipline that was enforced upon my brothers and me and am very grateful to have parents who actually cared enought and took the time and energy to persevere with the punishments they had decided on. Boyfriends come and go, trust me, this is not the boy you will be with for eternity. Your parents clearly care about you and your well-being and getting a good education. Rest assured that their actions are out of love and the horrifying reality that has become the norm....disease infested, pregnant, drug abusing, vodka-gargling morons on welfare with NO future. You will thank them in the future for loving you enought to make sure that you become a productive member of society with a very bright future!
2006-08-25 11:23:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what the lie was about. I mean if it was something very serious I would probably go for the month, otherwise I would give it a week. You said your parents said it would depend on your attitude, if you gave them an attitude that is probably the reason for a month. If my daughter told me it was interfering with her relationship with her bf and friends I would remind her that it was her choice to lie, not mine. Punishment is handed out as a deterent to bad behavior & you mentioned that kids would usually do it again, for me that is when the sentance would get longer and longer. Best of luck.
2006-08-25 11:20:40 · answer #4 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds to me like you have good parents. I'm a parent of four kids, and I hated grounding my children. I only did it if the offense was blatant defiance. Lieing to your parents is one of the worst things you can do if you want them to trust you - and you DO want them to trust you. If I were you, I'd suck it up and endure. I often tell my kids, "I will trust you until you give me a reason to do otherwise." So, earn their trust. Now, I'll turn you over to my 16 year old daughter.
Oh snaps, what the heck did you lie about? Good mercy, that's a pretty harsh punishment you've got going there. Hmm.... it's been a while since I've been grounded, so for future referance, I suggest you don't lie, but for now you need a serious way out. I can understand how this is effecting you and your boyfriend, personal time is very important. So here's what you need to try, if you havent already...
Obey everything your parents tell you, and do it sweetly, and with a kind voice. Don't break any of the rules your parents set up with you for your groundation... Then start doing house hold chores, not to much, just empty the dishwasher, or do their laundry (Make sure not to destroy their clothes if you choose to do that) Pretty much just be a big kiss up. Get on their good side. It might really suck, and you might be so frustraited to the point where your about to start ripping your hair out, but it's all worth it in the end.
Then after getting back on your parents good side, talk with one of them. Not a conversation about gettting ungrounded though. Usualy you'll want to pick the parent that also has more pity on you, then start a conversation, but make sure it has NOTHING too do with you being grounded. Then, after you've talked for a while, bring up a memory of one of your friends and you, a good one preferably. Then tell them of how much fun you two USED to have, then turn away from the conversation and become sad. If it works, your parents will be asking you why your speaking in past tense. Then you pull out the groundation subject, and you can say, "Well, ever since I've been grounded, I havent been able to really spend much time with them... all of my friends are kind of moving on." Give a heavy sigh, maybe even cry. It's got to work.
If your parents think they are crummbling your relationship with your friends, and crippling your personal life, perhaps they will have pity. :]
2006-08-25 11:26:07 · answer #5 · answered by whiteparrot 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I hate to state the obvious but you shouldn't have lied. Parents keep punishing the children with the hope that one day the children will learn not to do it again. My husband and I have grounded our 10 and 11 yr. old boys for a month for lying. Yes it's hard to be grounded, especially that long, but what you need to realize is that it's just as hard for us parents to have to punish our children and stick to it. So the best thing for you to do is to stop lying because you know what you get for it and it's not a pat on the back. My husband and I tell our children that they are the ones who get themselves into trouble by continuing to do things that they know they aren't supposed to.
2006-08-26 01:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, a month is a really long time. I wonder what you lied about. If it was very serious then I guess the punishment fits the crime. Your best bet is just to bit the bullet and learn from your mistake.
You see your friends at school right? You just have to explain, and don't let them talk you into doing anything stupid like calling them anyway.
I always found that if I proved to my parents that I would obey and respect their rules that they became more lenient. For example, I always came home 15 min. before my curfew, and before I knew it my curfew was later and later.
Please remember that as parents, we can see things that you may not always think about as a consequence of your actions. They truly beleive that they are helping you by punishing you.
2006-08-25 11:15:43 · answer #7 · answered by siege 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lying is the worst offence and receives the worst punishment. A parent can usually deal with anything as long as its the truth. That you would say you "probably go and do it again" means you have learned nothing and can probably anticipate another month at some point. As far as it effecting your boyfriend and friends..well...tough. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
You got yourself into this. It's also up to you how long you stay there and if you go there again.
2006-08-25 11:15:00 · answer #8 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all lying is UNACCEPTABLE! no matter who you are lying to. for every action there is a reaction, you lied and now you have to face the consequences for that lie. i am a parent and i was 17. my parents did not put up with any kind of lies there were serious punishments for that, at the time it was unfair and i thought they were just trying to be controlling, but now i understand. instead of spending your time trying to get around your punishment, spend it thinking about why you lied. i have found in my own experience that the truth comes out sooner or later so why not just come out with it. try not to do anything you need to lie about in the first place. one day you will understand.
2006-08-25 11:17:14 · answer #9 · answered by amy b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Now that punishment should teach you not to lie, and to be responsible for your own action, you did the crime now pay do the time. In the long run you will appreciate the discipline you received and past it on in the future to your own
2006-08-25 11:24:38 · answer #10 · answered by sweetpeachyp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋