Am I being a good, responsible parent or over-protective?

Question

My mom thinks I should let my kids, 9 & 4, play outside in the back yard by themselves but I'd rather be out there with them.

The back yard is fenced in but we live on a busy street and the 4 yr. old can open it even when it's locked. I watched him do it.

Answer 1

I'd rather be out there with them too!

Honey, with all the sickos in this world, you NEVER know...and I say it's better to be safe than sorry.

Your mom needs to mind her own business and let you do the parenting...it's not like it was when we were kids!! I remember we could stay out at nite with our friends even in the dark at age 9. But I guarantee you dollars to donuts that I am NOT letting my children do that!!! You just never know who lives around you!

I know that there were sickos 20 years ago...but it just seems to be more common now.

you're doing a darn good job as a mom!!! Keep it up!!!
merlin the cat

Answer 2

It depends on the kind of area you live in. I lived in an area where I COULD not let my children play in the yard, it was not fenced in and all manner of derilicts passed on the roads behind and beside us. Plus there was a restaurant downstairs that had a constant flow of strangers coming and going. I now live in a neighborhood that is safe, the yard is fenced in- I will let them play outside alone but I check on them often and remind them of the rules every ow and then. Mine are 10 and 13 now. I would let a 9 year old play outside by herself but not the 4 yo- and having the 9 yo responsible for the 4yo is too much responsibility when he or she just wants to play.
As long as you are willing to go out there with them and you are not living closed in and feeling paranoid about everything- you do what you feel is best for your children- you are their mom and ultimately you are the one responsible. Don't let anyone tell you you are being overprotective becaue there are just to many parents that don't think or it is not worth their time so they let their kids run the streets alone. Your responsibility is to protect and nourish your children - if you are doing that then you are doing well. There is always someone that is going to judge that or point the finger because they could do it better .

Answer 3

I think there is nothing wrong with you being overprotective. You are the mom and if it makes you uncomfortable then i don't see anything wrong with that.
since you asked if I were making the decision for my own children then it depends on the kids, and where you live. If your yard is fenced, you don't live in a bad area, and the 9 year old is capable of keeping an eye out for the 4 year old then I would think it was OK (of course you would have to check in ever once in a while). The 4 year old shouldn't be left unsupervised so I guess it depends on the maturity level of the 9 year old. My 3 year old sometimes plays outside with my 12 year old niece, but even with her I still keep close tabs from the window, and pop in and out of the house frequently.

Answer 4

If one can open the gate by themselves, then you should definately be out there. I was in the same situation a few years ago with my two children (busy street, easy open gate) and as much of a pain it was sometimes when I was really tired after work to go out there, you just have to do it. Take a lawn chair and a magazine. Or if you are not tired, play some games with them. They 'll love it. You are being a good, responsible parent, and should be commended for even worrying about it in these times when some parents just dont' give a @#$%.

Answer 5

I'd say it depends on your kids, your neighborhood and your yard. Is your yard securely fenced? Are there any dangerous things out there that could hurt the 4 year old? I don't see any problem with letting kids that age play by themselves in their own yard.

Answer 6

I believe that people need to be more paranoid when it comes to their kids! How do you think abductions happen? They happen when parents are not paying attention. My son is 10 yrs old and he plays in the front yard with his friends all the time. I keep the doors and windows open so I can watch him. I also go outside frequently to check on him. I believe it is highly responsible parenting. Keep up the good work. Vigilant parents keep kids safe.

Answer 7

Well, it depends how safe your neighborhood is. It may seem a little weird to your mom to not even let your kids go around the property without you there, but how do you know that a strange man in a pickup truck will not just pick them up and throw them in the backseat while you're gone?? You might want to invest in a fence if it makes you feel safer, or you could let them go outside but check up on them every 10 minutes. This way you are giving them freedom to do what they want while being assured that they will be safe.

Answer 8

Is your yard fenced? Do you have creepy neighbours? Is there a park in your backyard? I think that you may be a little overprotective but then again it depends on the neighborhood. I live in a relitavely safe area so I let my seven year old out in our yard. I can see him from all the windows in my house and I check on him every 5 min or so. Good luck

Answer 9

Well, that is a difficult question. Kids can get in to trouble in seconds and being there could stop a bad situation. On the other hand kids do need some free time.
Depends on where you live, and what the dangers are in your area. 9 is getting toward being able to play alone, four might be too young!

You are both right.

Answer 10

As long as I can see/hear my kids, I do let them out on their own in our fenced in back yard. They are 3, 5 and 7 years old. I don't go where I can't see/hear them from in the house though.