My family has a lot of money. We have a huge house right out of this small town. Even though i have a boyfriend and am happy with him guys always to get with me. I am not saying thats a bad thing but it bothers me. Is this how its always going to be just cuz i have a trust fund. It scares me cuz people are always asking for something. Keeping true friends is hard because i am the only girl so my mom spoils me with clothes and a new car. Which my other friends dont have. If i invite people over they always make a mess and destroy stuff so i dont do that anymore. I always feel bad so i pay the bill if me and my friends go out to eat. The worst part is my boyfriends family is wealthy like my family so people at school just are constantly trying to seperate us or they spread rumors daily about the rich kids in school.
How do i stop this constant being used by people?
2006-08-25 03:49:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Miss Meg23 ~
Become a Lesbian.
2006-08-25 07:15:48 · answer #1 · answered by Santana D 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, understand something. The money you benefit from is not money that you've worked for. It is the result of YOUR FAMILY's hard work or smart investments, whichever. So you shouldn't feel guilty because your parents spoil you. You've done nothing to earn it. Never apologize for your/family's good fortune.
It's good to OCCASIONALLY take care of the bill when your friends go out.. but to do it all the time? That makes no sense to me.. unless the outing is always your suggestion. Then I can see your friends expecting you to cough up your cash. But then again, if someone I hung out with kept paying for things all the time, I'd feel like they were trying to buy my time. I wouldn't feel like they geniunely saw me as an equal individual.
You're right to put an end to the house parties. I mean, with parties, things will get broken- true. But a real friend would help you fix or replace what's broken or out of place. They say money is the root of all evil. If you wanna know who's your friend and who isn't, stop shelling out the dough. See how many folks wanna hang around you then. You avoid being used by letting your users know that you are aware of imbalance when it comes time to pay the bill. You can say it a joking way; all you need is to let others know that you're not a fool. When you feel like you're being used, don't accuse, but let them know you feel like you're being used and you're taking measures to ensure that (for your peace of mind) you're not put in that position. A person can use you once.. the second time, you've invited them to do so.
Concerning men trying to use you, you bring that on yourself. No one should know you have a trust fund except someone you feel will benefit from it. If it's just a boyfriend, he does not need to know. A fiancee, does not need to know until he says I do. And even then, does he really need to know unless you plan to use the money on a house or something that will benefit you both- like kid's college fund? I'd have to say no.
2006-08-25 11:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by Honey 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My advice: Well find the friends that like you for who you are not for your money. Then once you find those friends just hang out with them. Ignore the rumors and stuff it is just other people being jealous that you have a good relationship. If your boyfriend and you have a true relationship, dont let the other guys bother you. Your boyfriend is the one who truely likes you for who you are and you like him, so you can just ignore the other guys. They are jerks. When you are out with friends, always insist on spliting the bill equally. It isn't fair to pay for their meals, even if you can afford it. I understand about how people tear up your house when they are over, it happens to me a lot. But just don't stop having friends over; talk to your friends about it, if they are true friends, they will listen and help you.
2006-08-25 11:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by Emmy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
since when did you care what other people say? Pay your own bills and let them pay for theirs. If they are your true friends then they wouldn't talk trash or tear your things up. The rumors an dbehavior are things that h.s. kids do everywhere, your not the only one they are spreading rumors about. Stick with a few close friends and forget the rest of them.
2006-08-25 10:58:16 · answer #4 · answered by miz piz 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
stop allowing it.. 1st stop broadcasting to everyone that u have a trust fund.. 2nd stop paying for ur friends lunches and stuff just cause u got more money then them.. 3rd ignore the rumors.. they're hating!! u need to keep ur head high and keep it moving cause having a trust fund ain't nothing to be ashamed of..
stop inviting the phoney ones to ur house, don't offer to pay for anything either.. if they were ur real friends then they'd offer to pay for something for u once in a while...
i'd say hi and bye....
2006-08-25 10:58:03 · answer #5 · answered by Queen D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be confident and always do your own thing. Don't clinge to him and don't put up with nonsense. If they know you will not put up with their crap they will be more relunctant to make you look like a fool since they know you will leave them more readily.
2006-08-25 10:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by Contesta 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just don't talk to them and have you all that money then share some lol just kidding but not all people who aren't as rich as you are after your one some of then really just want to be your friend good luck
2006-08-25 10:54:46 · answer #7 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop putting yourself in the situation and choose your friends more wisely.
2006-08-25 10:55:52 · answer #8 · answered by buttafli 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
say no.
2006-08-25 10:55:20 · answer #9 · answered by sugar_lilly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋