Hey all, so i have a big problem. Me and my bf have been going out for about 4 mo. now and everything has been fine up until about a week ago. The problem is i got grounded for a month by my overly strict parents for lying to them. I can't do anything with him, with friends..nada, zip, zilch. Can't chat on the phone or the comp so i really am grounded. The problem is, ever since i knew him...even b4 we went out...he has always had tons of friends that are girls. he has about only 4 guy friends. The thing is he will hang out with them after school because i'm not allowed to. I think this is okay and everything but some of the girls i don't know that well and i'm afraid that if he spends one-on-one time with them then he will began to like them. It's just really scaring me too because he is always talking to other girls like he talks to me and he touches them to(just like their hair or shoulders) but only to girls that are bothof our friends. The other day, a new girl was sitting
2006-08-25 03:30:57 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
next to us and she had really big b*easts. She said she was going to get a reduction on them or something like that and he asked. "why would u want to get rid of those" Is he just oblivious or what? I make my feelings known to him and all but he will always blow them off by saying that he didn't mean it in any certain way and that i'm the only one for him but how do i get over these feelings of jealousy? Also is he in the wrong? How do i tell him how i feel about him spending time with all these girl friends of his without being a total beatch about it? Pleeeeassse help i'm desperate!
2006-08-25 03:31:54 · update #1
thats alot to read
2006-08-25 03:33:30 · answer #1 · answered by dannym7500 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Miss, I understand your situation. What you need to do is to realize that if he is so popular with girls you are no less popular with boys.
You need not feel insecure about your boyfriend. If he truly loves you, he will be faithful to you, if he doesn't there is no point sticking on to him.
Miss you have to believe in yourself. Man is a peculiar animal - he always longs for things he doesn't have. He will never realize the value of things that easily come to him.
You will have to realize your worth. You don't deserve a compulsive flirt who would keep you tensed all through life. Whenever he is not with you, you will think he is having a good time with other girls, this will bring in more bitterness and also a serious mental depression.
Thus, nip the problem at the bud.
An old saying is very true - "If you want to see he loves you, let him go. If he comes back he is all yours; If he doesn't , then he never was (yours)"
Miss you are nice, young and wonderful - just enjoy life as of now.
2006-08-25 10:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by Rabindra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if I have a good answer but I can relate to how you feel. I am a very confident person but I am in a fairly new relationship and I get worried and jealous with my boyfriend. I don't understand why really all I can figure out is he acts the same around other girls as he does me. If a girl is being sleazy or caring on with a bunch of guys he appears to be drawn to her and I wonder if I am enough for him. I'm not use to these kinds of feelings and can't quite handle them. I know he loves me but I feel in them situations he longs for more and I'm not the kind of girl that's comfortable or would want to act like that. I try to explain this to him and he does try to understand but when he drinks all is the same. I think I am going to try counseling to see if its just really me. Most people will probley say leave him but maybe it really is just how he is so I would try to work it out first.
2006-08-25 10:47:09 · answer #3 · answered by hollie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this jerk behavior is exhibited by most men at one point or another. My husband use to do this until he has gotten old and women don't flirt with him like they us too. This means one of two things he is not serious about your relationship or he just don't understand how this truly makes you feel. You should get male friends and be the same way and when he complains tell him he makes you feel the same way and what he does is no different. Maybe he'll get it or you'll have to find someone who treats you with more respect.
2006-08-25 10:54:36 · answer #4 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're old enough to get grounded like that, then you're not old enough to really understand what it takes to have a successful realtionship. I suspect that your boyfriend is about your age as well.Listen, Kids your age don't really know what they want. I know you feel like it's the end of the world, but if you are patient, then you'll get throught it. Besides, if he leaves you for two minutes because your grounded and then he's off flirting with other girls and stuff, then I don't think your boyfriend is really committed to you, or is he?
If he is, he'll wait, just like you will.
2006-08-25 10:43:19 · answer #5 · answered by Nestor Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've recently had a similar problem. My girlfriend has ONLY guy friends, but I've learnt to stop worrying about it because I trust her completely and I'm am positive nothing is going to happen. Once I learnt to accept that, it was easy for me to stop being jealous. However, I know how you feel, and I do still grow a tad jealous when I hear that she is going to meet up with he friends - just imagining my girlfriend with other guys having a good time is depressing, but it's not for me to tell her who she can hang around with... and plus, I don't really mind, but I wouldn't be human if I wasn't a bit jealous.
Now, on to your other problem. Your boyfriend isn't really being very sensitive to your feelings, is he? He touches other girls on the shoulder and strokes their hair? That is definitley not on, and you should seriously talk to him about that. The reason I've learnt to trust and relax about my girlfriend and her guy friends is because I know I can trust her - I feel sorry for you because I don't think you can trust this guy very much!
He should be making you feel special and nothing else, and if he's being like this, is it really worth being with him? If my girlfriend was doing what your boyfriend was doing I would of probably broken-up with her. It really isn't fair on you. I suggest that you talk to him about all of this (ALL of it) and if he's not willing to make you priority, I say leave him. You've been together for 4 months? It's not that hard to learn to love again, and, in my honest opinion, this guy wasn't even worth a week.
Good luck, kid.
2006-08-25 10:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you have to wonder what your man is doing with these girls.. then there might be some trust issues. And they might be unfounded. If you really dont have a reason to mistrust him... then cut him some slack.. almost all of my friends are guys, and my husband doesnt care if we hang out... I go to the movies with them, dinner with them, hang out... its all good, But IF I ever gave him a reason to NOT trust me, all that would end. Has he ever cheated/ and I mean with ANYONE... NOT just you? Cause if he has in the past, he will in the future. Hope this helps.
2006-08-25 10:35:06 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for starters you need to not be so overly in love with him that you have blinders on. He may be innocent in what he does and says , however he may not be. The point is if what he is doing makes you uncomfortable than you need to be up front with him and if you are truly the only one for him he will understand. You need to talk with out yelling or rude remarks. Compromise and communication is what everyone need in a relationship to make it honestly and happily work.
2006-08-25 10:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by Paula M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been dating for four months your BF must have some feeling for you, especially if he have more female friends than male friends. He had all those to choose from and chose you. If he dumps you while your grounded, it will hurt but you will be better off without the Romeo. Move on and leave him to his playing.
2006-08-25 10:36:54 · answer #9 · answered by darkesidhe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to be a very difficult situation but not impossible to clear the problems. I advise you to show your parents you care for your bf and If they still continues to restrict you, invite him over for a lunch with your parents. He has too many gfs you say, I think you must be happy with this; because this is the chance of you to show yourself to him that you are different from the others!
2006-08-25 10:39:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit feeling so insecure. A man loves a woman with confidence, and if you portray any kind of jealousy, he's gonna feed off that. You're making something out of nothing.
2006-08-25 10:35:34 · answer #11 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋