how do you break a man from being a mommys boy?

Question

I have been in this relationship for 3 years and I want to marry this man but he runs to mommy when things get rough ... Please tell me how to HOLD ON AND WAYS TO ADVANCE!!!

Answer 1

This happened to me. My ex-husband's mom always called him for everthing and he would run to her every call and what we would be doing wouldn't matter. He did this while we were dating I thought it was neat that he cared so much for his mom. Then when we got married and started a family it became a problem, because he was needed at home more. I told him about this he didn't feel it was a problem and thought I was being unreasonable and his mom didn't appreciate it and started calling him more. We ended up splitting up, because of this and other reasons. He now in his new relationship he stopped being that way to his mom and his mom can't stand the person he is with now and wish she would have stayed out of our business. Unfortunately your man may remain a mommys boy until the mother stop him from running back and forth and grow him up to be an independent man and solve his own problems. You could talk to the both of them him and his mom so they can realize what the problem is and give them a chance to make it better. At least you will find out where your future stands.

Answer 2

I think that u can never break that bond, for 1 mothers don't ever let go of their sons, and for 2 men don't know how to seperate themselves from that situation. My suggestion is to either accept that or move on. But if this the person is doing this now imagine when u get married u know whats going to happen. In a marriage he suppose to forsake all others and put u first but if he's not displaying this now then he won't. Move far far far away so that he can't run to her. Good luck to u.

Answer 3

when u say mommys boy, how bad is it ? I've been married to my husband for eleven yrs. and he's a mommys boy !!! My mother-in-law and I use to be at each others throat all the time!!
But, now we're closer than ever !! She actually, will take up for me whenever my husband and I get into an argument !! We live very close to her, she and I go every where together, and get along GREAT !!!! So maybe, things will just work themselves out!! He will ALWAYS LOVE HIS MOTHER AND BE THERE FOR HER !!! I'm sure he loves you too, but of course in a different way ! ! DON'T TRY TO MAKE HIM CHOOSE BTWN. THE TWO OF YOU !!!! GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS !!!!

Answer 4

This is rought..... My 2 ex's where mommyz boys and GIRL IT DIDNT WORK OUT!! .Anything i would say anything i would do (Mommy knew or mommy jumped in) .. i kinda got used to it for a while i was with him for 2 years but ..when there is someone that close like a mother aleays in your realationship he will never stand up for his actions and admit He is wrong (if he is) ..if mommys always going to be there ...A mom is alaways going to take her sons side no matter if he is WRONG!.. SO I would move on Girl it ant goign to work !

Answer 5

Ah, sister... so you are choosing the hard road!

First, you can't change anyone who doesn't want to be changed. Even then, it's up to them to do it but here goes...

Competing with his Mama for his attention is the category this falls under... although I didn't figure this out myself, my x-husbands new wife helped to break this insane pattern of always running home to both his mother and sister. DOUBLE WHAMMY!

The new wife and I are friends for our children's sake, so she shared that whenever she knew he was going to run to them -- she would encourage him to go but with a "ah... poor thing... you seem to need your mother to fix this" attidtude. That tone in her voice appearantly hurt his ego too much and now he has stopped that pattern altogether. Although, too much of this can be a turn off as well, she did this effectivly with a combination of pity, compassion and a butt load of tolerance. She also mentioned that she would dare him to stay and clean up his own mess. Now, whenever he goes to his family, it's for football or brunch but not a breastfeeding session.

As you can probably imagine, neither his mother or his sister were too pleased, but even they have come around. The who family unit now operates with less intrusiveness; whereas before, my former mother in-law would actually come into the house when everyone was gone to work, once my home, now their home, and take his laundry home to wash and bring it back washed, ironed, and folded the next day. Now, apparently, my X does all the laundry! How's that for great?

Good luck!

Answer 6

try to move him away... if that wont work, then marry him.. After a man is married, and especially with a child in the picture, the mother goes by the wayside and family starts to take over his life and time... so substitute a kid for the mother... lol.

Answer 7

well you can never change someone. this is a saying i heard but it's soooo true:

men marry, hoping she'll never change, but she does.
women marry, hoping he will change, but he doesn't.

if he's a mamas boy now, he always will be by degrees and there is really nothing you can do to nag, cajole, coax or prod him out of it. change only comes from INTERNAL motivation, not EXTERNAL harping. if i were you, i'd either learn to live with it and not complain or i'd find a new man.

you said you are looking for ways to "hold on"--it's going to have to be all of your own strength. if you're looking to "advance," you won't. men dig in when pushed. don't try to change him, either accept him or find someone more acceptible.

Answer 8

Ladies in the case of a momma's boy you have two options, either dump him and find a real man or make his mama your BEST FRIEND, and YOU run to HIS MAMA before he does. Trust me when he starts acting an *** there is no better person to have on your side than his mama and no one can get his *** back in line faster than her either.

Answer 9

I am Helen B.s mother in law and when we started out I hate her for taking my baby boy from me, they moved away and i learned his family comes first as it should, I knew he still loved me, but he had a family to take care of, they have aftr 9 years moved verry close to me and he works out of town but he always has time for his family and me also, he will always be my baby boy and helen even calls him titty boy but we all know it is all in fun, she even tell me he is a titty boy and deep down that makes me feel good, what you should do is envolve his mother in yalls life instead of trying to take him away from her and I promise he will come around when you show him you dont mind his relationship with his mother, just remember you would not have him if it werent for his mommie, so just try and love her and I promise it will all work out, I will be praying for you I know it gets hard for you but rememberyou must love him very much or you would not be asking this ? love him and all will work out

Answer 10

You have to decide what you can deal with for you won't change him. If you want to stay in this relationship make friends with his mom and pick your battles, for they can only stay a mommas boy because momma is feeding that relationship too.