I have been in love with my friend forever. I do everything I can for him. Now he's still way in the proverbial closet, but we have been together in the past. Well I am the only guy he's ever been with (yes I'm gay) but last night he was telling me about a guy he met while he was living in washington a few years ago named Mason; and how they almost got togther, he said Mason was hot. But this is the first time he's ever commented to me about a guy before. He also said that he could have dated Mason, and had an actual relationship, I am very hurt by this. I don't really know what to do... I've always felt good around him and now I only feel self consious about myslef. What do I do.... he says I'm like a brother to him, and that he loves me, but he fell in love with Mason differently.
-Confused and Self Consious.
2006-08-25 03:06:48 · 25 answers · asked by Joe 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you may need to realize this guy is not interested in you as a boyfriend. He sees you as a friend. I am sure this may hurt your feelings but sadly not everyone we want to be in a relationship wants to be with us. I think you should move on and find someone else who is willing to be in the type of relationship you want. Don't put your life on hold for this guy. Date other people; go out and enjoy life. If this guy is interested in someone else he is not the one for you. You will meet someone else. Keep your chin up!
2006-08-25 03:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by strawberries 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you're hurting. If you truly love him, you'll respect his feelings. He loves you like a brother. That's a great thing! I know it's not the thing you want from him, but it's a really wonderful, special thing to have a close friend for a long time. He's able to tell you the things about Mason because he trusts you. Don't let him down. Be a friend, a brother. You can't be more than what is wanted or needed of you.
2006-08-25 10:13:58 · answer #2 · answered by JetskiGal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i hate to say it but i guess there's not really anything you can do. does he know you still have feelings for him? i guess the only thing i can say is that if mason was in the past, leave it in the past. work on your relationship together and maybe you can make him fall in love with you even more than he was in love with mason. just be sure that you talk to him about it, because maybe he at least has some of the same feelings for you that you do for him. and ignore everyone else's stupid comments... im sorry so many people are homophobic.
2006-08-25 10:13:08 · answer #3 · answered by Kayla-Ann 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well have you ever told him how you feel? If you haven't I think you should.
Also it maybe good that you two don't date or get in a serious relationship. Take it from someone who knows once you date or have a relationship w/ a good friend and it doesn't work out you just lost a friend. Not to say it's not going to work out, but is it worth losing a long time friend. It may be for the best just to love a far.
2006-08-25 10:13:09 · answer #4 · answered by teriwilburn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he know how you feel about him? If not I suggest you sit him down and let him know before this goes any further. No need to not having something just because you were afraid to ask for it, or get your heart broken when it need not be. I would suggest you start slowly. Tell him why you love him before telling him that you do. Speak of the things he makes you feel. You can even let him know that him speaking that way about that other guy was a sign to you that you should speak to him about your feelings now- or risk losing him forever. No matter what you do, remember that he is your friend, and it's perfectly natural to love a friend. You can love him forever, even if the two of you don't become involved. Just prepare your heart to be flexible, and it will never be broken.
2006-08-25 10:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by blue 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey hun, listen, i definetly know how this is, if he's still in the closet then he's not ready. Your probably hot because all gay men are hot. (I go to a gay club called Stonewall every thursday) Tons of hot men are out there. We are too young to not enjoy yourself babe. I understand you love him. I've been there and I know it's hard. But sometimes you just have to move on and get back out there. Good Luck, if you ever need anything email me avillakas@yahoo.com
2006-08-25 10:24:08 · answer #6 · answered by ash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the "friend with benefits". He may enjoy fooling around with you, but he is looking for something different in the person he actually has a romantic relationship with. I'm sorry, that's a bad situation to be in. Date other people, maybe he will see you as "datable" and not just as a friend. As long as you are so easily available to him he will continue to take you for granted and overlook you as boyfriend material.
2006-08-25 10:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by Lotus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
like he said, he loves you like a brother. perhaps the thing you guys had together was for him to figure whether he was gay or not. this probably showed him that he was and hence was more confident to approach or be with a guy like mason. it sounds like he has no idea about how u feel about him. this is all new to him, so he's taking it as it comes. perhaps you should confess your love for him and see what he says.
2006-08-25 10:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by sugar_lilly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a sticky situation...
Be yourself around your friend. Mason is in past forget about him. Your friend might be telling you about Mason to see if your jealous or he might wish to feel for you the same he did for Mason.
Im sorry your stuck in this situation I wish you the best of luck!
2006-08-25 10:11:39 · answer #9 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like hes trying to let you know he loves you but hes not in love with you.I dont think that will ever change either.Maybe you are more of a bro to him then anything else.And he probaly wants to keep it that way to not lose u as a friend if ur relationship dosent work out. Try not to be self conscience because he is still your friend regardless. There are plenty of guys out there that will want to be with you.
2006-08-25 10:10:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋