wat should i do i really need ur help!!!?

Question

should i make out with my bf?

Answer 1

well baby ,,
i think you are the only one who understood your case ..
so do what is the right in your opinion..




UNFAIR.....


its unfair that ....
that i love you so madly ,
while you don`t know....
and to missed you so much,,,
while you didn`t feel that ...
and to tell all the world about you ,,
while you didn`t hear that ....
and to write all my poems to you ,,,
while you didn`t read them ....
and to be so jealous about you ,,,
while you didn`t realize that ....
and to wait you all the time,,,
while you didn`t come yet to me....
yes ,,,
unfair that what you do...

by: [e-mail]
By hazem02


http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/101/poem_8341886.html

please visit my site and read more poems , and leave me there your comments..
yours
hazem

Answer 2

if you have to ask then NO! You are not ready, stop looking for permission from a bunch of strangers (half of them are pervs anyway and will tell you to go for it) You can still get intimate without going all the way! If that is not enough for him then drop him! I would hope that most teens wopuld wait until they are at least 18 or older.

Answer 3

MM.. how old are you?
if you feel comfortable, then yes. but if you think that it's the only way to keep him or to make him happy, then no.


there's other things you can do if you're not ready, holding hands.. just do what feels right, but don't feel as if it's being forced on you.

Answer 4

If you feel comfortable with him.... and you are above age 15- then why not... Just dont take it too far for a while, or word will get out that youre easy!

Answer 5

I think you need to give a bit more info.

Answer 6

Sex is used as an advertising/sales tool and, because we, as a culture, worship money as though it were a god, that abuse of sex for commercial purposes is tolerated because it yields the golden bottom line.

Yet when sex is used directly to make money, as in prostitution, we relegate it and those who practice sex-for-money exchanges to the outcast regions of who and what we like to think we are, and pity, persecute, or prosecute them.

In romance, sex is supposed to be the ultimate experience and we assume that just because we are driven by and to sex we will know what to do to make a sexual encounter that ultimate experience. Then we fall short of the hype we've believed about what to expect and sex takes the rap.

Currently, the clerical underbelly of the abuse of sex is slithering into the light via the abuse scandals that are rocking the Catholic Church.Celibacy, the denunciation of sex as a supposed source of transcendence, is being sanctified again by some and vilified by others, and sex is left in the shuffle, instead of being integrated into a respectful and humility-based acceptance of how the Creator created this experience of life.

And finally, you ask "When a man approaches a woman with wanting to be sexual friends, does he think poorly of himself or the woman?" Why would that even come to mind? Why would a desire for a sexual relationship reduce someone's self-esteem?

We agree that purely sexual encounters that extend over a period of time most often end up in pain. Because there is a profound exchange that occurs between lovers even if they've been together only once. And yes, that power is barely understood by most if understood at all. But that is not a fault of sex but of the fact that we resist an honest, openhearted, sincere and spirit-based discussion that would enlighten people and prepare them for what they are getting into when they agree to have sex with one another. Sex is not a plaything, but it also not a monster. It is a primaeval force that can lead to the creation of the most precious outcome, another human being. In that way, sex is a glimpse we get to have onto the awesome grandeur and potential of what it means to be the Creator.


Conflict Resolution



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We've often been asked about conflict resolution, about what to do to conduct a fight between two people in a relationship in such a way that it will not be destructive, but, to the contrary, constructive and mutually beneficial.

What follows is an abridged excerpt from Chapter 9 of our first book, "The New Intimacy," which outlines the principles of fair fighting.

Fair fighting is lovework -- a fierce expression of love for yourself and your partner. Given that, there are very specific commitments you and your partner can make, before and during a fight, that will assure that you are doing lovework instead of doing damage. Remember, every fight is like a flare, an S.O.S. drawing your attention to what needs healing.

1. Your purpose is to find a mutually respectful resolution During a fight, frustrations are high. Voices are loud. Vision is clouded, even distorted. Both of you can feel unseen, unheard, and unappreciated. That's the time to remember you do love one another, that the point of the conflict is to make sure neither of you sabotages your love by putting up with less than your love deserves. The purpose of a fight is to reconcile your differences and dissolve the distance between you.

2. Remember, you're only human You're both feeling vulnerable. And, no matter how things appear, you both feel threatened, otherwise there would not be a fight Since you both are feeling very fragile, it is essential that, even when your hot buttons are pushed, you can count on the fact that you both truly care for each other and that your connection is still there.

3. Sometimes a fight is necessary Fair fighting is always about getting your grievances out in the open. It's a way of saying, "I'm completely committed to our relationship and I won't let this particular problem continue." You're fighting to stay fully alive, to continue to grow and develop with one another. When you both know this, you will know that a fair fight is a godsend -- an alarm calling you to put out the fire.

4. Both of you are being powerful In a fair fight, no one is victimized. Whether you're yelling or silent, weeping or walking around the room, insistent or seeking--you are exerting a powerful effect on your partner. The fact that the fight continues is proof of your influence. Even though you may not feel like it, you are having an impact. You have to stay conscious of that.

5. Every fight is co-created In a fair fight, you both have to take responsibility for your participation in what created the conflict and what you are doing to resolve it. Whether you raised the complaint, or you are feeling defensive, criticized, whatever, it takes both of you to make a fight. Even when you're angry, threatened, shut down, you still make choices. You are always part of the process.

6. Don't harbor discontent Commit to speaking your desire and need, dissatisfaction and hurt, as soon as you possibly can. What you keep secret acts like rust and fungus, coat hangers and the stuff in your garage. It keeps growing in the dark. It extends its contagion into more and more areas of your relationship until there is no more room for love.

7. Stay on point Hash out only one thing at a time. Nothing is more maddening, confusing and ultimately enraging than jumping from point to point, obscuring the problem, making it very difficult, if not impossible, to achieve any kind of resolution. Fighting is serious business. It strengthens and deepens your connection. Give it your best effort. It's lovework.

8. Don't drag up past complaints Since we all have some trouble keeping the emotional slate clean, it's very easy for the small stuff, and even the big stuff, that gets ignored to fester into buried land mines. And then, in the middle of a conflict, you feel desperate and all that old resentment comes flying out with something like, "Well, do you remember when you...?" Unless your spouse is strong enough to remind you that dragging up the past is out of line, suddenly the fight veers out of control and becomes lethal. After a few more do-you-remember-whens, neither of you even knows what you're fighting about. Then you're liable to throw anything into the mess.

9. Stay out of your individual history As a basic rule of thumb, you can assume that anger has to do with what's happening in current time. In contrast, rage is like old, dammed-up water. When it's triggered by something, when your buttons are pushed, the dam bursts and rage rushes forth seeking revenge.

These are not principles that you drag out in the middle of a conflict. They are to be discussed and committed to beforehand.

You may want to get a copy of The New Intimacy for more extensive help with fair fighting as well as the nine-step conflict resolution process we call Conscious Creativity which is Chapter 6.


Feeling a Deep Need for Connection



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Over the last two weeks we made the following points:

1) that there is a sense of separateness and emotional distance that humanity has believed for millennia to be the only foundational experience;

2) that there is an experience of connectedness that is equally foundational;

3) that as a species we have had to evolve to a point where we could recognize and experience that connectedness in the daily, mundane moments of our lives;

4) that love is the name we give to our desire to be connected with something larger than ourselves.

Now, if being connected were utterly impossible in this universe, we would not feel any desire for it. It is because we feel such a deep need for connection, what we call love, that tells us that a connection already exists.

So, if love is not the yearning for connection but is already the connection itself, then as the poets and visionaries have already told us, we are the love, the connectedness we are seeking. That being the case, at least as much if not more than separateness and distance being the case, then most, if not all, of what we humans have believed about love destines us to heartache, resignation and despair, because it is one-sided.

Have you ever wondered why the theme of unrequited love has been and continues to be so popular? After all, unfulfilled, unreturned love is very painful. Why would such pain be so attractive?

Because longing for love has been more valued than having love. That's not a perverse longing. It is merely the natural and logical outcome of our giving priority to the belief that we are separated, that the distance, the dis-connection that we feel is the only reality.

That word "only" is where we get into trouble. Why? Because we do have the longing to connect. So there must be more than what has been believed for so long. And, if it is love that will connect us, then it only makes sense to set out in search of love. But when we do, we become blind. Why? Because we must deny the veryconnection that we are. Otherwise there would be no need to search for it. As a result, we unknowingly set up a circumstance through which we can only feel desperate, futile, cynical, and ultimately unloved.

However, if you recognize the connectedness between us, that it is an equally essential aspect of our experience, then the distance takes its rightful place as only one part of who and what we are, and another fact comes into view--that we are not distant, merely different. That the sense of separateness is merely one way of interpreting the differentness between us. That's all. Not separate. Not alienated. Not lost in our solitariness. But simply different, each of us a facet of the overall experience of existence.


Appreciated or not, it gave all it had to its life



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The other day we took a walk out to a nearby field. Behind several tall pines, hidden away from open view, a single, small flower spread its blossoms toward the sun. It was a deep red, vivid -- very strong and straight on its thin stem.

"Proud," Jim said.

"Proud and powerful," Judith answered.

We both knelt next to it, captivated, surrendering to an unexpected meditation.

So unseen this little red miracle was, so out of the way, and that didn't matter at all. Appreciated or not, it gave all it had to its life.

"Can we give everything," Jim whispered, "even if what we do goes unacknowledged?"

"Especially if it goes unacknowledged!" Judith smiled.

"I'd like that," Jim said, taking Judith by the hand. "To live for the sheer experience of being alive."

We felt small next to this giant flower and, although we hadn't said a word, we knew we were suddenly filled with deep longing.

Intimacy is like that, you know. When we allow ourselves to open and connect, intimacy can be an unexpected teacher, taking us into unacknowledged places in our self.

Whenever any of us stops long enough to open, to feel the tenderness that is at the core of being alive, the magic of the mystery appears - right there, wherever we are.

That little red flower became a portal, a threshold into the world of the ordinary and the sacred, into something completely expected and yet utterly surprising. That's the pleasure and the reward of real intimacy. It takes you through what you already know out beyond your imagination.

We stayed with that flower for some minutes, each in our own silence. And then, as though on cue, we rose, and walked hand in hand back to the house.

There are opportunities all around you, right now, in your daily life, for intimacy to carry you into yourself and out toward those you love.

Let it. Just say yes, open your eyes and let it.


Terrorism and How Women and Men Relate to Each Other



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Terrorism is having a profound effect on how men and women are relating to one another. Take a moment and consider this fact. Men and women are all we have. That's it. After us there is no one and nothing. How we treat each other and how we treat the differences between us is is the foundation of whatever future we will experience.

We are all undergoing a kind of pressure that most of us have never imagined as a result of being thrust into an unknown that even the toughest among us have never had to deal with. That's not an exaggeration. That's also not an excuse we can use to avoid responsibility for what we say and do.

But this new world we now live in has inspired many, many people to look within as never before. For example, there is a marked increase in divorce proceedings being stopped by the couples who have filed them. Not the judge, but the people involved are reconsidering.

Dating services are seeing a marked increase in activity as well as an increase in subscriptions. Those who are without someone are making a concerted effort to find a connection.

There has been an increase in marriages and those who are taking the vows have said that the attack and the world conditions have caused them to realize how precious a loving relationship is.