Tell me your best joke.?

Answer 1

Actually I don't read jokes...

Answer 2

TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Alfred: A teacher! (only a joke!!)

Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another,
how many dollars would you have?
Vincent: One dollar.
Teacher (sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
Vincent (sadly): You don't know my father.

NASA was getting ready to launch a very important
space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and
double checked everything to make sure that things are fine.
However, on the day of our launch, something seemed
to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never
took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were
puzzled because they could not figure out the problem.
Finally, there was an Sardar who offered
to help. They NASA people were desperate by that time and
agreed to do anything.
"Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right" said the
Indian scientist. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway.
"Bring it back to vertical position" the Sardar said.
The engineers did.
"Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the
rocket took off and flew into outer space!
Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew
what to do. He replied -
"It is very simple. This is what we always do with our
Bajaj scooters in India".

NOTE: These are only jokes..... I hope no one is dumb enough to think these incidents really happened.......!!!
(The sardar joke was only a joke....It was not written to insult the sikh community....besides even I am an Indian!!!!!!)

Answer 3

There is a ship in the middle of the occean when all of a sudden they se pirates. PIRATES!! the sailor screams and they go to the captain for orders. Captain says: Bring me my red shirt and lets battle!!!!

They win the fight and when they are regrouping the sailormen ask:
Captain, why did you ask for the RED shirt? Captain: because if they wound me, you wouldn't be able to see the blood and continued fighting with courage!! OOOHhh the crew said and where very amazed.

The next day a sailor screams: PIRATES, 25 ships of Pirates!!! What are we going to do?????

Captain: Bring me my brown pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 4

Little johnny was at sunday school and the priest was asking the kids 'which part of your body goes to heaven first' susan replied your heart because thats where all your love is , anthony said your hands because thats what you use to pray with -little johnny raised his hand to answer and the priest sighed and called on johnny to go ahead and answer johnny said 'your legs' the priest curious asked why? Johnny said 'last night when i was going by my mommy and daddys bedroom i saw my mom with her legs in the air screaming 'oh lord i'm coming' ........


"lord i apologize fer that right there"

Answer 5

A bickering couple are driving and they come across a farm. The farm contains some donkeys and pigs. The wife says, "Those relatives or yours?" and the husband replies, "...Yeah...in-laws!"

gotta love it.

Answer 6

Learn Chinese in 5 minute

>1) That's not right...............................Sum Ting Wong
>
>2) Are you harbouring a fugitive..............Hu Yu Hai Ding
>
>3) See me ASAP..............................Kum Hia
>
>4) Stupid Man.....................................Dum Gai
>
>5) Small Horse....................................Tai Ni Po Ni
>
>6) Did you go to the beach.....................Wai Yu So Tan
>
>7) I bumped the coffee table...................Ai Bang Mai Ni
>
>8) I think you need a face lift....................Chin Tu Fat
>
>9) It's very dark in here........................Wai So Dim
>
>10) I thought you were on a diet................Wai Yu Mun Ching
>
>11) This is a tow away zone......................No Pah King
>
>12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week.........WaiYu Kum Nao
>
>13) Staying out of sight..........................Lei Ying Lo
>
>14) He's cleaning his automobile...............Wa Shing Ka
>
>15) Your body odor is offensive................Yu Stin Ki Pu

Answer 7

once threr was a girl in a village one man told to girl that she should climb tree every day i will see you from down she accepted and began to climb tree every day he used see her from down one day girl,s mother order her to not to climb a tree but also she went and climb tree her mother asked why you went again she said today i worn under garnment

Answer 8

wife: honey, whats the problem?
husband: no nothing dear

wife:
but you have been reading our marriage certificate for the last one hour?
husband: no i was just looking for the expiry date!!!

Answer 9

whats a blondes favorite nursery rhyme? HUMP me DUMP me....LOL

Answer 10

man walks into a bar and says "ouch that hurt!"