Best way to apologize?

Question

I messed up. I had a chance to be more than friends with a dear friend of mine - he's been pursuing me for years, only I wan't ready.
Now I see he is the right choice...but it may be too late.
I have been rude to him in so many ways. He pushed me when I wasn't able to make a decision and that pushed him away. He lives in another state entirely and after this last falling out, he seemed pretty serious about never wanting to hear from me again. It is a long story, but there are the basics. What ideas do you have as to how I can apologize for my behavior and to make him reconsider? I think I may have tarnished his image of me for good. I need to do something fast that will make him see I am serious now. He is in his early 40's, if that helps and I am pretty much willing to be as extravagant as possible to get his attention. What would capture your attention? Flowers to your doorstep? A surprise visit from me? He may or may not have already met somebody...time's wasting. What do I do?

Answer 1

Ad Astra, First of all, you do admit that you messed up when you had a chance to be with someone special but dont beat yourself up because you didn't make the move at that time, you said it for yourself you wasn't ready for a relationship and he should have understood that from you. You said he move to another state, yes by now he probably have moved on but don't be discourage of yourself if he has, it just that at the time he wanted a relationship with you and you wasn't ready, then he felt he should move on so don't hate him for that, all I can tell you if he has just let him know again why you wasn't ready for an relationship at that time, tell him you do apologize for your behavior, ask for forgiveness and if he hasn't move on maybe you and him can reconsider about being more than friends if not maybe buddies. If he is still serious about being with you then he will come back and work it out but if he has moved on ask for apology and see if you can still be his friend and continue to communicate with him. If he doesn't want either then at least if have gotten what you has to say to him off your chest. Just don't waste your time on him so good luck to you and hope all works out well with him.

Answer 2

Email him this, and tell him from your heart what you feel. Tell him also that you will accept his decision, and do it. He is older and prob wanting a relationship that will last. If he isn't already in one. If he is, accept it and move on.
I am 40, and I too have blown good things for still wanting my freedom, now, I am a single father, 3 boys at home and a daughter that isnt, and wishing that I had stayed with a few that where good to me.

Hindsight is 20/20 but really sucks too.

Answer 3

Sounds like I have been in your friend's place. I tried really hard to make a realtionship one time. (like here - things didn't work out) Funny how women would rather go out and pick up a stranger ( and then cry and complain when things don't work out) rather than dating a 'friend'. She seemed to try to 'rub my nose' in it everytime she started seeing someone new. When things wouldn't work out, it was me that was there for her; until the next guy came along. I finally realized that things just weren't going to work out; and if they did, it probably wouldn't last. I would say, learn from the past and move on and let him do the same.

Answer 4

i f i were in ur friends position i wud love to have flowers in the morning followed by a card or sum such note a call in the afternoon (u try to gauge if he is still single )then in the evening drop at his place in ur best and rest u have to say Sorry and let him know ur true feelings.

Answer 5

just call him and tell him that you miss him alot and after he left that you release that you like him and want to be with him and your sorry bcz you were confuse and don;t know what to say or do but know you do ok good luck