Getting past traumatic events?

Question

okay so about about 4 years ago(wow its really been that long) anyway my mum had a miscariage after about 3 months of pregnancy.We had plans, you know we already sorta named it and i really thought that it would hold a breaking family together, the that was over a whole little persons life over.But i thought i could get over it then about 6 months later she fell pregnant again, i was just so shocked and confused, but eventually i came to the realizating that this could be the one that wasnt before and i was just getting used to the idea when she lost the baby, i saw the blood on the bathroom floor, i had to run to the phone box and call my dad home from work to take her to the hospital, she took what came out in the car with us in plastic bags, i left high school after that i just couldnt bare telling everyone what had happened again, i never delt with it, i never cried, i just kept it all in&now everyone has gotten over it,except me, will i ever get past it?Advice?

i dont speak to my mum anymore, at all for other reasons i wont go into
and my dad hmm he didnt even want the babies in the first place, and i know he really doesnt care and after all this time it would suprise me if he has forgotten about it

Answer 1

I have dealt with alot like this too.
I have been pregnant 10 times have 4 kids, a preemie and a 2nd trimester complication of pregnancy. I had my four kids and was on #5 -- My preemie Shane was 17 weeks preemie. I had emergency surgery on October 6, 1988 and was in the hospital until October 25 they sent me home. I got an infection and my son Shane was born in my mother -n -laws home Oct 30. I
expect him to be dead when he came out but he was gasping for air. He died before the ambulance got there.There was nothing I could do for him.

My Father died suddenly Aug 19-----I had not seen him for 1 1/2 years.......... then 911 happened .......Fast forward to my Son Elijah. I got pregant again. I was not able to get pregant for 13 years. Miracle baby. Telling my mom at Christmas giving my mom hope again after loosing my dad. But I was so sick from morning sickness. I couldn't eat any thing. Lost alot of weight. Finally Jan 10 could eat again but had extreme pain on my lower left side. Doctors thought nothing wrong. Pain worse, severe direaha, IV's, dizzy take off work week of jan 18 --bad --so sick....Sit down at work all the time (I did not have sit down job)

Jan 23, 2002. I go to work. I am there 1/2 hour pass somthing odd looking (weird colored pink--tell me later it is pregancy tissue) having really bad pains. They let me go home. My mother in law takes me to my doc. They do several tests Ultra sounds up and inside.........tell me "it looks like you pregancy is out the outside of your uteruas......behind and to the right".........WHAT-- why is my pain on the lower left then?
They do emergancy surgury.........telling me if my child is on the out side they will do a historectomy and remove anything the pregancy is attached to.......That is exactly what they did...

This was my husbands 1st and only child ( second husband)
The docors told me . "Oh we FORGOT about you previous surguries that probably was why this happened--You had a gap, crack or hole in your fallapion tube "

Mid Feb my left side burns. Doc think's nothing of it -
Blow me off until March 10 --Do a bunch more tests. Tell me to go back to work but .....Tests make me worse end up in hospital 10 days. These Docs are really P*ssed. They first bunch of docs screwed up my surgury. Damaged my tube from my kidney to my bladder so my body has been dumping urine in my body for months now.
Tell me I'm too sick to have corrective surgury. Have to wait until July

April 30 my oldest daughter decides since she graduated school she didn't need to live there any more or foloow rules, she moved out did not see her again for 1 1/2 years.
She get her 17 1/2 old sister to leave on Thanksgiving -Don't see her for 1 year

I lost 3 children in 1 year, was told Ican never have children again and was off of work for 16 weeks, was in the hospital 3 times and had 2 surguries. I have blocked alot of it out I don't remember alot of it . (too painful--but I guess that is why I blocked most of it).

TIME DOES HEAL ALL

Your probably need some councelling to help cope with this. Exspecally if your a teen ager----your body is doing some weird stuff now anyway, Your hormones are making it difficult to deal with everything now

It will get better - I promoise

Answer 2

I have had 4 miscarriages and it is hard to get over. You have to realize that there might have been a reason that she lost those babies. Trying to save a broken family is not really a reason to have a child, and maybe god was trying to tell her something. 9 times out of 10, when we loose a baby like that there is something wrong with the fetus, and it is natures way of disposing of them, how ever cruel and unfair we seem to think that it is. We just have to go on with life and remember that the baby was just not meant to be, and there is really not much that we can do. You need to find someone to talk to, and you need to get your feelings out and grieve for the loss of your siblings. It is just like if they would have been born and then died, they were still a part of your life... it is okay to cry about it. It will do you some good to cry in fact...

Answer 3

You didn't say how old you are, but since you left high school, that gives some indication. If I were you, I would seek professional counceling..that is a traumatic experience for anyone, but for a teenager even more so. Please seek the help of a professional so you can talk the whole thing thru with someone impartial that has dealt with these types of things. Sometimes it is much easier to talk to someone you do not know, than it is someone you are close to. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

It took me a few years.....yes I went to counseling...because I realized myself waking up in the middle of the night for like half a month shivering and crying thinking about the event...watching a friend get hit by a car....and then the ambulance coming......the first few years after the event I always shake when I hear the ambulance sounding......but as years pass the event starts to fade....(been almost 8 years).....and I don't really cry anymore as I visit the friend's grave.....but yeah it takes time.....time to relax myself.....however, I never walk near the place where the accident took place again......perhaps that's my biggest fear....

Answer 5

Realize that nothing is your fault. Talk to a professional. Nobody can erase the memories of tragic moments in our lives but you can get to a point where it doens't consume you. You can someday carry on with life a little stronger than you were before. But get help.......thats the first step.

Answer 6

It's gets easier with time, talking about it helps you with deal with it better.

Since it happened to you mum I'd start with talking to her first. Dad next and then a doctor. I'm pretty sure that once you find out that you parents are OK and a medical doctor tells you that what happened to you mom is a rare event, you'll feel better.

Answer 7

You need to contact a professional counselor, psychologist, etc. to deal with thess tragic events. Yes, you CAN get passed it if you don't ignore it or just hope it will go away. Confront it, let the feelings out. That is the only way.

Answer 8

hi sweety i saw u on healthy place but didnt tlk to u how u feeling now? i totaly udnerstand that wot ur going through is hard and just coz every one else has got over it doesndt mean u should have it takes time for different ppl hunni - u need to realize that wot happened never be forgoten but it can heal in time and u need time to heal and its not easy i know that but you just need to stay relaxed and remember that they are in a safe place with no suffering - IM me anytime huni and il help u get through it --- [e-mail]

Answer 9

i would think about all the positives about this situation