How common is that women love their kids much more than husbands? Do men realize that?

Question

I understand that it's a different kind of love and I'm not talking about forgetting about spouse's needs, not showing your affection or neglecting him either.

Answer 1

This is a hard question to answer. I think it is a different kind of love. Our children depend on us, both of us, to care for them. Without us, they can't survive. But, if there were ever a time when I had to choose who would live, if only one could, I would choose my child. In other words, I would sacrafice my life and my husband's life so my child could live! I love my child to death and I love my husband, but if I HAD to choose, it would be my daughter.

Answer 2

Very common and yes husbands are usually very aware of it.
The functions of a man and woman in a home are different so the disparity of this view is common as well. Understanding different committments of responsibility and how it is achieved in raising children is important.
Many woman actually neglect their husbands for their children because it's not as hard to love children for it's a totally different role that they control. Woman will say they love their husbands when infact, they have lost the committment to build their marriage for it easy for them to put themselves into their children.
A wise man gives his lady room to raise his children and yet also reminds her that he is still her number one. If he does not then when the children leave there will be nothing. Many a man finds something else to do when the wife forgets him. Although usually in our society the man is blamed for leaving when infact he has been pushed out of the home in a very strong emotional way.
There are many men that will not get involved with raising and caring for the children because of that same reason above--their mothers did it to their fathers and they were taught that it's woman's work. Not taught by man but by mothers who have taken control of their homes and felt they did not need the leadership of her own husband. This is a sad thing in America because it's pulling most families apart.
I hear it all the time and a vast number of people do not see it. It's easier to blame than to take responsibility on both sides.
My Aunt had 8 children and she took the time for all of them. She is kind, understanding and loving. Yet, you could see how she made her husband feel special in such a way that he was the only one in the world. That woman knew how to love all in her family. I just wish she'd write a book so others could see and learn to correct such misdirection in our families in our culture.
She was the warm heart in the home and he was the breadwinner and the authority. What an example that have lived!

Answer 3

I don't think its only confined to the women. Basically its natural for parents to feel that children need their attention more than adults. Hence, if one parent pays more attention to the children than to the spouse, it may not necessarily mean that he/she loves the children more than the spouse. However, I think in terms of percentages, the mothers tend to be more attached to the children than the fathers simply because they have been carrying the foetus in them for nine months before their birth.
Couples should avoid the trap of ignoring the needs of their spouse if they have to provide care to their children. The best way is for the women to involve their husbands in the care of their children.
Care for the children totally and ignoring the spouse will lead to the spouse feeling unloved. This one of the reasons why the spouse wanders.

Answer 4

It is common, and nothing wrong with loving your children more than your spouse. However, don't make the mistake of ignoring/neglecting your spouse. They still matter, once they fulfill the need for the other half of the DNA strand.

Answer 5

I think it's pretty common,, so many times husbands get so busy and wrapped up in providing for the family that they remove themselves emotionally and alot of times physically- working late,, not having weekends free ect.- and the love between the husband and wife starts to dry up and the mom starts to pour all of herself into the kids and loves them more becuase she gets more love from them. I am not talking about sexual grown up love,, I am just talking about the type of love where you are needed, and wanted,, and are made to feel good about yourself.

I wish men realized that it's not always just about how much money the bring home,, but it's about how much of yourself you give to us.

Answer 6

In 18 years when the kids leave the nest then what? Do you leave your husband? My husband and I had this talk when first got together - he had his and I had mine, well he had raised his alone for 2 years and there was so much attachment I really felt like I was intruding. So I told him the same thing, when the kids are gone we are going to be it for each other - so we raise them and love them and give them good values, but they will grow up and love someone more than they love us (like their wives and kids!).

Answer 7

I don't love my children any more than my hubby. I love them all the same and he knows that because I make sure to tell him just how much he is loved and appreciated everyday. But it is common and I think that's one reason the divorce rate is so high, because once the kids start coming that's when people forget that their hubby's / wives need attention, love and adoration also and just as much attention as the children get.

Answer 8

I doubt that's true I know tons of men who love thier kids just as much as the mother, just because the Mom is always there tending to them doesn't mean she loves them more, that's just usually the way it works. My mom took care of all four of us as my parents were separated when I was 5, and my dad always played a loving caring disciplining role in our lives.

Answer 9

I think this is a common complaint. But I think it's not valid.

Men have to understand that children are lots of work.

That doesn't mean the woman loves the child more. It means children need to be tended to more.

Answer 10

Its not as common as one would want but there are some people who think more of their kids than a man.