Here's the story. I was invited several weeks ago to go to a wedding as the date of the bride's sister. I really don't know the bride at all (other than maybe we'd recognize each other), and I certainly don't know the groom.
As a guy acting as the date of the bride's sister, should I plan on bringing a wedding gift? If so, should it just be something like cash - basically does the same old rule of "make sure you're at least taking care of your cost" apply here?
Just curious, and I'd like to err on the side of "well that was overly generous!" than being somehow labeled a cheap SOB.
Thanks for any help.
2006-08-25 00:44:35 · 19 answers · asked by JBReafsnyder 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Wedding gifts are never mandatory. However, it would be considerate if you at least got a small gift.
Btw, gifts should NOT be brought to the wedding, you should ship them to the bride's home either before, or shortly after the wedding.
The "cover your own plate" thing is a HUGE etiquette MYTH so feel free to ignore it. The very concept that a gift is "in exchange for" being a guest is vulgar. People gift because they want to, and gift as large as small as they are financially able to and based on their affection for the couple.
2006-08-25 05:42:18 · answer #1 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The bride's sister would buy a gift the both of you should decide together (unless you don't shop) and then chip in with some money and put your name on the card. This way they also know who you are, if you do a seperate gift they might be confused! We had serveral people that did this with our wedding!
2006-08-25 10:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give cash. $50 will be more than plenty and as a new couple, they'll need all the cash they can get to help start a new life together. And I'm sure the bride will appreciate any offer considering how you two barely know eachother anyway.
2006-08-25 08:32:31 · answer #3 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In your case I would ask your date if there is a gift that her sister would like, that would open the discussion up, if she does suggest going together with her then yes I would bring a card with some cash in it - your right, at least the appropriate amount to cover your plate/booze. Have fun at the wedding.
2006-08-25 09:03:46 · answer #4 · answered by redneckgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very nice of you to think of these things! I don't think there is anything tacky about asking your date: r "What do you think your sister and her fiance would like as a wedding gift? Are they registered?" This should prompt your date to say one of two things:
"Oh no, don't worry about a gift. The gift I give will be from the both of us. (But how sweet of you to ask!)"
OR
"Well, she's registered at (wherever)" Or she'll tell you to just bring cash.
I think this is the most tactful way to determine if your date is going to provide the gift or if you should as well. Typically, a "couple" gives one gift together - not separate gifts. My boyfriend (now fiance) always made it clear to me that he provided the (cash) gift when I was his guest and I always provided the gift when he was my guest at a wedding.
2006-08-25 08:25:33 · answer #5 · answered by PT&L 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your date doesn't offer to put you on her card (and don't ask her.)
Then you should bring a card and put 10 dollars in it.
It isn't much, but it's something simple.
Otherwise, sometimes what I like to do if I don't know a couple very well is buy them a cheap fun game that two people can play (yahtzee, head to head poker, life, sorry, trouble anything cheap) Or check out if they have a gift registry at target and see if they have any games on it or movies that are cheap.
I never pick kitchenware because I think it's boring, and if you want to make a good impression, 10 dollars or a fun game is perfect.
Not too much, and not too little.
2006-08-25 07:50:49 · answer #6 · answered by anabele6 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok, any time you are invited to a wedding, you bring a gift. It is extremely rude not to. You must pay for your food and give the bride/groom money to spend besides - so $100 or more is what you need to give. Don't be cheap.
2006-08-25 07:59:09 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should pick out a sweet card, put whatever amount of cash in the card, that you feel comfortable giving, and enjoy the wedding.
2006-08-25 07:49:26 · answer #8 · answered by earlmegget 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel its a good gesture to at least bring the cash. a gift might be too personal since you do not know the bride and groom.
its good manners too.
2006-08-25 07:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by ash 7 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just give them a card and some cash , or a small gift vocher , anything is better than nothing, dont forget you will probly be eating a pretty expensive meal that they included you in so just somthing small will do
2006-08-25 11:29:46 · answer #10 · answered by lil_meex 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋