Is it normal to be extremely resentful towards my family?

Question

I dislike my brother and father immensely. I absolutely have no love for them whatsoever. They have treated me like garbage for much of my existence, and I do not wish to associate with them.

As for my mother, I do love her, but sometimes she is very critical of me, and I would prefer if she just listened to me more rather than just criticized.

I resent my father for three reasons: one, he placed me in an in-patient treatment facility against my will when I was in 8th grade. two, he punched me in the face (not entirely his fault, but still...) and three, he seems pre-occupied with his work and seldom listens to me.

With regards to me brother, who is adopted, he is the most belligerant, hostile, sarcastic, demeaning, vindictive person I have ever known. If it weren't for my financial straits at the moment, I would never associate with him ever again. Ever.

So is this normal? I feel like my family doesn't really involve me in activities nor do they listen to me that much. It hurts.

When I asked my mother if I was "just a problem to be fixed," she laughed and said,"...Yeah!"

My father is passive-aggressive and when he does communicate something meaningful to me, it is often negative or critical.

My mother is controlling and manipulative, and she drinks.

My brother, as described above, is extremely cruel and mean, in addition to being the most obnoxious person I've ever known.

The only side of my family that I get along with consistently and that at least takes time to include me and listen to me is my aunt, uncle and two cousins. My side of the family might as well be traveling gypsies, that how indifferent I feel about them and how they often treat me.

Communication in the family is lax, but when things are communicated they are often hurtful and condescending in nature (and often critical or accusatory).

I am told by both my mother and brother that I'm "always" this and that, but when it comes to good things to say about me, they hesitate to say much.

Answer 1

Yes baby, with a family like this...It's perfectly
'normal' to be resentful. What you need to do is rise above them. Be a good and happy person in spite of them. Hopefully, you will soon be old enough to move out. How old are you?? Get out of there as soon as possible. Being around people like this brings you down....Family or not, Get going!!

Answer 2

I am estranged from my father -- and have been for over 20 years. Though I may have seen him once or twice since then, we do not communicate and I stopped trying after feeling a little guilty for just not caring. (I'd try to open the communication, but never got a response.)

There is a point, when you are old enough to move on with your life, that you will need to make some decisions. The fact that my mom decided that they might be able to afford me going somewhere else to college, instead of living at home and commuting, made a world of difference. I went 200 miles away for school, and I haven't missed my town where I grew up at all. My mom and I never had issues, but we keep in touch with phone, letters/email, visits, etc.

You don't say how old you are, but when the time is right, you will find a way to make your own path. No matter what you do on this path, make it a postive journey. Respect yourself, and know yourself. Try not to listen to others for definitions of who you are. Surround yourself with people who have similiar interests, and who are positive. It might take some time to find. When family is not a positive space, it is difficult. You've got to get above the negativity, if you can. I wrote out all of my feelings when I was young......and became a poet and writer as an adult through that endevor. Finding some kind of creative outlet (music, art. writing, photography, etc.) might help you work through yours. Take care.

Answer 3

Time to move on.

Can you move in with Aunt and Uncle who seem to have time and an appreciation for you?

Financial constraints can be overcome with planning and budget. Set a goal, an amount and aim for it.

Family are so complex. What is normal for one is not for the next. What I will say is that your situation is not uncommon. You didn't say how old you are, and that makes a big difference.

For now, you need to find a place where you feel safe and secure. Whether that be your own place (if you are old enough) or with other family, depends on your finances.

I wish you luck. In life, you are the only consistent. People come and people go. Situations change. Take control of your destiny. You will find happiness!

Answer 4

I would focus on getting myself together financially and moving out and staying away from them. Parents like that you don't need in your life at all. Ive been through similar circumstances and it is very hurtful to never hear anything good about yourself. The only way to feel good and look at yourself in a pleasing way is to get the heck away from those people. It doesn't matter if they are family. Be your own man, and be a better father to your children(when you have them) than your father was to you. Marry a woman that will never mistreat your children the way your mother mistreated you. You will come out ahead of the game.

Answer 5

Perfectly normal.. Perfectly natural..

Just don't start a family.

Most people have issues with their family either extended or immediate but pretty much nobody has issues with every member of their family. Obviously your family sucks but you -are- a part of it and if they all have issues with you, you might want to take an afternoon of and go talk to a psychologist or therapist about it. You might find out some things about yourself that will be enormously helpful in your life.
But seriously don't have a family of your own. It's almost impossible for you to raise healthy children with the conditions you grew up in.

Answer 6

What hobbies do you have? attempt concentration on that and detect a occupation per that. communicate on your aunt approximately your severe melancholy. convey the variety you sense. do no longer take existence so severe. existence is in basic terms a playground, and we are all characters. you need to a minimum of have completed something which incorporate your existence. i'm able to tell which you care lots for different persons. you're a good individual. If fairly need better help, see a therapist.

Answer 7

i think you should focus on something out of your family.
i had the same problem, until i've found out that friends are "the family you choose" and they are much more important in your life than "the family you've been given".
stay with people who love you, and you'll be able to love your family again.

Answer 8

i stopped talking to my dad for a couple of years. we talk now, but i know once he moves to florida next year i'll probably never see him again. and that's ok. as for mom, i stopped talking to her almost 5 years ago. i'll never see her again. i'm ok with that.
some families just aren't what you need or want. move on, leave them behind. get help to get past the damage they did.
good luck

Answer 9

first things first. in the telephone book there are listed help counseling centers hot line crisis center inc. please try and talk to even your church people the Strauss you are butting on your self won,t go a way

Answer 10

yep. i hate my whole family too.havent talked to my dad in15 years don't miss him a bit.