I read a note from his girlfriend to him talking about how her mother is taking her to her doctor appointments, and it's almost time to tell me, and he'd better get a job, etc. They don't know that I know this, and I'm not sure how to react.
2006-08-24 21:06:19 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
There's nothing you can do to change what's already happened, so show some support, this will be tough for them.
2006-08-25 02:46:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how do you feel about this? You are free to react any old way you want to, but perhaps you should react in the bathroom with your face burried in a towel first ...and then talk to your son with the same caring mother face that you've always have had. He's scared. He would have told you, but he's scared ...really scared. He has every right to be - he's in deep this time and he probably has no idea what you're going to do or say. He's afraid that every dream he's ever had is gone and is probably scared that he could lose you too. He has no idea what's hit him. He needs you to just grab him and hug him, with those same strong mama arms that have always made him feel better. It's time to pick him up and dust him off and have a good heart-to-heart with him. You don't need to tell him how you found out. It doesn't matter. You know now and he needs you to be there for guidance. It's time for you two to make a game plan. It sounds like his girlfriend is planning on keeping the baby, which is obviously not the best idea at their ages, but that being the case, you need to decide if you're willing to pay for his child, or if he's going to need to drop out of school and work ...or whatever. Once the emotions are out, sit down with him with a pen and paper and figure this out. After that, it would be a good idea for you and your son, his girlfriend and her parents to meet about this. Try to stay calm, cool and collected. You're allowed to be upset, but remember that it's not going to change anything if you go nuts on him. It will only make him retreat.
I am sorry. I really am. This isn't what you had planned for your son, but it will be OK. You've done your best thus far ...and you'll keep doing it. That's what mothers are all about :)
EDITED: How are things going? You haven't posted anymore questions since this one and I've been wondering if you've confronted you son....
2006-08-24 21:28:49 · answer #2 · answered by Answers to Nurse 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being angry and all that comes along with that isn't going to help now. It'll only make problems worse. The thing with younger people getting pregnant is it's only lust between them nothing more and if you make that girl feel bad or mad then you will never see the baby. As for the idiot that said ABORTION you my friend want to talk about disgraces you are a DISGRACE to society. They thought that they were old enough to lay down together they can be old enough to have a baby. Having an abortion solves NOTHING it's a cowards way out. Sometimes you can preach and preach and preach to a child about what the consequences are of having sex and what to do and what not to do but most kids are willing to take the risk and find out the hard way. You can do all the steps to parenting right and sometimes they turn out the way you taught them and sometimes they go on their own and do what they feel is right. It is not your fault that this happened everybody tries their luck. But let them tell you don't be the one to tell them.
2006-08-25 01:23:57 · answer #3 · answered by Emilee D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, please don't threaten to disown him or kick him out of the house. This is NOT what he or his girlfriend need right now. Do you like the thought of your (first?) grandchild being raised on the street or on welfare? I get so sad when I read posts from teenage girls who get pregnant and say that their parents will disown them (or already have!), just kicked them out, etc. I don't know how a parent could do this to their own flesh and blood...especially when their child is carrying a child.
I would wait for your son to come to you and tell you that he and his girlfriend are expecting a baby. Honestly, I'm really surprised this girl's mother hasn't contacted you yet... My sons are both young yet, but if I found out they had gotten a girl pregnant, the first thing I'd do is call the girl's mom!
2006-08-25 02:58:13 · answer #4 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my daughter at bairly 18 and didnt tell anyone untill after she was born and my family was upset that i didnt tell them sooner. What i suggest is that you mention it to him but dont be angery or upset when you do so you will only push him away. Tell him that you will be their for them but he needs to step and get a job and make sure he finishes school as well as take care of his responsiablities. But at the same time dont be a push over and pay for stuff for him reguarding the upcomming baby. Yes they shouldnt have been having sex but now you know he has and he will have to suffer the conquinces and what done is done their is no point in being mad you cant change it. Make sure you communicate with the girls parents as well and maybe have them over for dinner so everyone can discuss what is going on and stuff like that. Im am sorry to hear that we have lost more youth to parenthood but it seems to happen more often these days. Good luck
2006-08-24 21:18:25 · answer #5 · answered by redlasvegas81 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to sit down and talk to him and ask him what is going on and what he is going to do about it.
With her telling him he has to get a job that is probably the mother talking and all of that.
But that is a different situation.
sit down with im and ask him what is going on and how you can help him. I'm sure he is freaking out and not sure how to tell you that she is pregnant. Don't over react and try to be cool. You already know so you have time to brace yourself when he admits it. BE SUPPORTIVE.
I don't know the girl but is the baby his or not? god i could go on FOREVER. The biggest thing is supporting him. He is scred crappless and probably should be.
Good luck and I gues congrat on being a grandma early
2006-08-25 01:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by evrythnnxs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant when i was 16 i am 21 now....My parents werent impressed but they didnt put me down in any way....they asked the normal questions what where you thinking and what not......but they also supported me in every way....they helped me threw my hole pregnancy and in helping raise my daughter.....i think the important thing is to remember that everything happens for a reason.....if i wouldnt of had my duaghter then my parents would have never known what it was to be a grandparent....my mom died when my daughter was 3, and then my dad died right after she turned 4.....you shouldnt be ashamed of your son or his girlfriend, no one is perfect, you should tell him that you know that she is pregnant or wait for him to tell you.....and support him in there decision whether it is to keep the baby or not....TREAT him as an adult, cause that baby is gonna be a reality check for him and his g/f.....but the best thing you can do is support him.....cause i am sure they are very scared.
2006-08-25 03:17:21 · answer #7 · answered by KRISSY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should ask them to come over with the excuse of watching a movie together or something, and then, ask them if there is anything that they'd like to discuss. If they don't open up to you and tell you, then you should calm down and bring the subject. Explain to them that you got to know by mistake, that you did not spy on them or anything, but that you found the note running around and checked it out to see if it was of any importance.
Now it is too late to lecture them about contraceptives or anything! What happened happened, but you should help your son find a job so he can support his son or daughter. You also should make sure that they do not make another mistake and marry in a haste just becuase she is pregnant. And don't be angry with them. They will withdraw from you if you do so. Now, more than any other time your son needs your support.
2006-08-24 21:16:57 · answer #8 · answered by trushka 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
My best suggestion is for your to call your local pregnancy help center and talk to a professional that can help you to handle this situation in the best way for everybody specially for both new parents and the baby. I am a mother too and I am sure i would feel very disappointed if i would find our that either my daughter or any of my sons are going to become parents at that very young age but i still would help them and encourage them to finish school. to get a part time job and to become responsible for that new life
2006-08-24 21:49:56 · answer #9 · answered by gisela 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A kid who comes to this world is a blessing from God. And instead of condemning and pointing out the wrongs, you should rather meet the girls parents, the girl, and your son.
Talk to them and show them what entails having another person in your lives. Aborting should never ever cross your mind as its has grave consequences too.
Get ready to have this new family member to be a turning point to all you.
Thats a blessing from God and not a mistake. The person to come is innocent so do her/him a favor by being the loving grandparents the dad and mom will need time to grow up too emotionaly, spiritualy and financialy.
God bless
2006-08-24 21:45:18 · answer #10 · answered by E0844 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing you can do about it now. The deed is done. All you can do is help them out and do what you can for your son and your grandchild. I'd make him get a part time job after school though and be responible. The baby is part his and she didn't get pregnant on her own. I'd encourage him to stay in school and graduate, though. Love him, but make him do the right thing.
2006-08-24 21:13:41 · answer #11 · answered by First Lady 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋