Recurring violent thoughts, I'm afraid...?

Question

I have been having violent thoughts throughout my life. they stayed away for many years, until recently. they re-emerged, but this time the focus is my wife. I love her greatly and can't hurt her. I'm really afraid of what this could mean. I don't think I'm crazy, but have had depression on and off my whole life.

I'm both embarrassed and scared of talking to other people, including doctors. What can I do?

These thoughts are not my own. They feel extrernal, like someone or something is putting them there. I am not hatching any kind of plan to do anything negative. The thoughts are more like passing images. Of course, these horrible thoughts cause anxiety, whih cause me to feel sick.

I am planning to see a doctor in the next day or two. I just want this to stop. It's like being forced to watch a bad movie. I just hope shock therapy isn't involved. I thought they had done away with that process!

Answer 1

I've had violent thoughts before as well. Everyone has strange thoughts, and they can be scary to some who are genuinely good people and wouldn't hurt anyone. No one has a squeaky-clean psyche and everyone thinks at one time or another things like, "I would really like to take my boss's stupid-looking tie and strangle him with it." You should only worry when you start making actual plans to do these things, like "Tonight, after work, I'm going to dress in the black woolen jogging suit that I bought for this, pull up to my boss's house at 1:05 a.m., and then..." And so on.

Meanwhile, there are many ways to work through these thoughts. First, don't hold them in or they'll get worse. Second, try to find a creative outlet or hobby that can get your mind to process such feelings constructively. Third, try to talk to a professional who is experienced enough to not judge you. I have often told my psychiatrist about my thoughts and he surprised me with how normal a lot of my thoughts really were. Finally, of course, don't act on these thoughts.

Answer 2

As a bipolar I would get violent or suicidal thoughts during a mixed mode condition, in other words, being manic and depressed at the same time. What you end up with is a highly volitile state of high energy with the negative component of depression, this creates anxiety, and irritability and can produce violent thoughts.

Answer 3

the only thing you can do at this point is see someone because unless you want to end up committed or in jail and spend your life like that, there is a possibility that you could very well do harm to someone else, pills can help, if you truly don't l;ike the feelings you're having right now ,you n eed to weigh up the odds of actually doing harm and deciding embarrassment or jail, its a win win situation, you have to fight depression with everything you've got like your fighting in hospital for your life, because that's exactly what it is.your life .don't let it get you again, if its been gone from your life at some point then you've controlled it somehow once so find that control again, if you cant seek help. good luck

Answer 4

Is avoiding your own embarrassment more valuable to you than your love for your wife? This is nothing to be embarrassed about but to be concerned about. You are not a monster or a horrible person unless you don't get help for this and spare your wife or another life. We all have our problems to deal with and this happens to be yours. In most cases, we are victims of our behaviors and only need some guidance to control it. Humble yourself and keep your wife's life in mind. Be strong and be willing to admit that you need some help...we all do in some way. Good luck and please don't think about what someone else thinks about you...you have a choice to make and you need to keep a clear head about it.

Answer 5

well see in my unexpert opinion it depends on how long uve been married cuz those thoughts might come naturally if uve been married a while lol j/k but seriously u have to find out what made u start having violent thoughts to begin with and take care of it sounds to me like no offense that ur a push over and when someone does something u dont like u just push it down inside and let it build up now i have no idea how to tell u how to deal with that but i wish u good luck

Answer 6

i was married to someone who had thoughts of hurting himself and other people including me he was diagnosed with bi-polar/psycosis after traditional medicines and therapy failed he had to be hospitalized for several weeks and have electric shock therapy. now i;m not saying this is for anyone but you need to see a psychiatrist and tell him whats going on. if you are truly scared of hurting your wife hospitalization would be a good thing for you ,get yourself on a good combo of meds along with some therapy you may get lucky and get released in a few weeks .if you havent already i would apply for ssi disability so you have some kind of income if you cannot work and resurfacing thoughts, something going on in your life may have triggered the anger you feel please take my advice and good luck to you

Answer 7

I am a manic-depressive so I know what you are talking about...Please see a mental health doctor...even if you are scared of talking to doctors & even if you have to go to the hospital. This is your sanity you are talking about. There are meds to help this. Do yourself & your family a huge favor & GO.

Wishing you mental health, sanity, courage to seek help, & good luck. Much love, Nala

Answer 8

I do think you have some serious problems...so before you hurt your wife, not meaning to....get some help and get it quick...I don't want you to hurt her and I see it coming, to be honest...You might think you can't hurt her, but if you are having thougts about it, they just might overrule you and that is going to be it...Please, start praying and get some help...before you end up in jail and losing your wife..I do not believe you can help those thoughts and they are going to manifest themselves in a dangerous way...I can see where you are going.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

this sounds like ocd.

i would pray to God to help you overcome this.

by the way a lot of people have ocd, so don't feel alone if you do.

take care of yourself

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