why are my parents so overprotective?

Question

i am a good student (3.8) responsible and other parents say that they wish i was their kid, im 17 about to be 18 in 3 months and my curfew is like 9 30pm i am well aware of possible dangers but i woulden't expose myself to them i just want to go out with my friends and be trusted.

Answer 1

I know my answer will not be the most popular, but...

Have you ever thought that you are a good person because of the way they are raising you? I would stop questioning their judgement and thank them for instilling moral fiber in me. I bet your parents do trust you though. If you want an argument for staying out until 10:30 here it is.
Just what do they think you could do at 10:00 that you can't do at 9:00?

Answer 2

Your parents are overprotective because they love you, and don't want you to wind up becoming a statistic. Don't think it's because they don't trust you, because most likely they do trust you. it's just all of those other "unknown" people that they don't trust.

I have to agree that 9:30pm is a little early for a 17 year old. Since you are are going to be 18 shortly, and are doing well in school, you might try negotiating with your parents for a little extra time out with your friends, at least on the weekends.

But negotiate smartly & maturely.
Tell you parents that you would like to talk to them. Then explain to your parents that since you are doing well in school, and are helpful around the house etc..
(bring up all of the good things you do as a means of demonstrating your sense of responsibility)
you wondered if it might be possible for them to at least consider extending your curfew time to 11pm for the weekends? (Friday and Saturday)

if they say no, then tell them you will plan on asking them again once you've turned 18.
In the meantime, see about getting a part-time job.
This will make you look more responsible to them. Also depending on the type of job you get, you can't very well tell your boss you have to be home at 9:30pm, if you work an evening job where you may have to stay until 10 or 11pm.

Good Luck~*

Answer 3

tell them
why are u guys over protective? i am a good student (3.8) responsible and other parents say that they wish i was their kid, im 17 about to be 18 in 3 months and my curfew is like 9 30pm i am well aware of possible dangers but i woulden't expose myself to them i just want to go out with my friends and be trusted. i am almost 18!

Answer 4

Your parents are overprotective because they love you and care about you. Believe me, when I was this age I was a good student too and I honestly never did anything wrong or lied about where I was going, but still it took time to really gain some adult freedom. Some parents just take more time to "let go" than others do. Maybe you can talk to your parents about extending your curfew a little at a time so it's not as much of a shock to them. Explain to them that because you are soon to be a legal adult, you'd like to try and gain some adult responsibility. Do you have a cell phone? Maybe if you promise to call them at certain times while you're out (and actually DO it when you say!!) you can help to prove to them that you are trustworthy and slowly break the ties a little. But remember, you are still young. Take it slow- you have your entire LIFE to be an adult. Enjoy your youth while you can.

Answer 5

As a parent, I can honestly say that it's not you they distrust....it's everyone else out there. Parents think and fear the worst. Sometimes they go into overdrive thinking they are doing what is best, when in actuality, it's hurting you in the long run. Tell your parents that you are in desperate need to start making your own decisions and that although you respect the ground rules they set for you, that you are never going to learn how to deal with reality if they won't ever let you face it. If that gets a bad reaction, then explain to them that you would like a little more freedom to prove to them that they've raised a great and responsible kid....that's always works! By the way, good job on the grades honey.

Answer 6

Because they love you. I agree 9 30 is really early have you tried to ask for a later curfew? Since you're almost 18 now is the time to show them some maturity and have a discussion with them calmly and rationally. Mine was 10 on week nites and 12 on weekends. Occasionally it could be later if I had a good reason.

Answer 7

It's because us parents were teenagers once too and yes, although, it's hard to believe, we were once crazy kids, too. Yeah, even good kids sometimes succomb to peer pressure and maybe make unwise choices.

I recently saw my neighbor (17) drove home alone after midnight, which is against the law here in California. She's a good kid, too, but if she got pulled over by a cop, she could get in a heap of trouble.

I know it's hard to understand. One day you will when you're a parent. You see, parents unfortunately do understand that as good as you are, there are a LOT of temptations out there. I think back to when I was your age and hated my parents strictness, too, but know I realize how lucky I was. I got pretty wild and crazy when I went to college and had no parential supervision.

Hang in there. Soon enough you'll be an adult.

Answer 8

I am sure you are a good kid but a lot of parents are that way because you remind them of theirselves when they were younger. The things they did behind their parents back OR that is the way they were treated while they were growing up. i know its hard to deal with but what if you had a kid. You would love it and not want to take the chance of something bad happening. I am not saying they are right for being "over protective" but they love you and want the best for you so they are trying to keep you safe. Maybe they trust you but not the other people around.

Answer 9

A lot of it doesn't have to do with being able to trust you. Much of parental worry has to do with trusting your friends and having an awareness of 'what's out there'.

I am not saying they are right to impose a 9:30 curfew but your parents may have had a lot of personal bad experiences that have led them to be very strict with your freedom.

Answer 10

You need to explain to them that you need to learn how to set your own boundaries and limitations while they are still there to guide you. This will help you become a responsible adult and teach you how to make good descisions on your own. I have seen so many disasters happen when children of overprotective parents go out into the world as adults.
In my house, the only rules after age 17 were:
Pick up after yourself
Never lie
Call if you're going to be late