I'm a single mom and I can't understand why guys only see that part of me and run for the hills. What's up with this guys?
2006-08-24 18:44:24 · 22 answers · asked by cat s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wait a minute! It's not easy the other way either. I'm a single-dad with two kids. Women aren't so turned on by that. Sure there are women who find the ability of a man who takes care of his own and is family oriented as a desireable characteristic but I haven't met them yet. Personally, I believe the relationship is between the man and the woman. The children will be there but they come later. The first priority is the relationship between the man and the woman. If they are not happy together, what good are they with the children included. You'll find the right guy. And the right guy I mean a guy who will love and respect you no matter what else comes in the package. Yes, there are guys that see that part of you. Then there are guys who will love that part of you. Good luck and take care of yourself.
2006-08-24 19:31:04 · answer #1 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never in a million years even THINK about dating a single mom. As if I want to be involved with somebody who's got kids. I don't want children, not now and not ever, so to date somebody with kids would be a pretty stupid move, don't you think? Who wants to raise some other schmuck's kids for him? Too many men I know have fallen for the old "no strings attached" line only to find themselves being not-so-secretly recruited as Instant Daddy. Look, I don't care how attractive the woman in question is; there's nothing in the world that's worth that kind of headache.
2006-08-25 01:52:54 · answer #2 · answered by solarius 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well cat, please do not speak for all guys.
My gf has 2 kids. i knew this coming to the relationship, i never even once thought about running for the hills. thats cause shes HOT! but thats not the case. its been 3 yrs now and let me tell you, it still feels like day 1. I love her and her kids very much,
were even thinking about having another one....well in about 4 yrs from now. so cat, plese dont speak for all guys, Im sure you'll find someone who will not run just because your a mother. until then, go out and have some fun. live a little. good luck to you.
2006-08-25 01:54:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Many men are afraid of becoming step-dads for the kid(s). Step-dads have the responsibilities of a real father. But few if anyone respects their parental relationship with the kids.
2006-08-25 02:07:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of reasons I suppose. They may think you are a loose woman, having unsafe sex and became pregnant, and weren't married. A shallow point of view, but it is honest.
The other, may be, that they have no desire to raise somebody elses kid. Also an honest concern.
However there are many men who don't feel that way. So you just have to keep trying until you find the right combination in a guy.
It'll happen, just keep plugging. Good Luck.
2006-08-25 01:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by johnb693 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Guys are stupid and dont see you for who you really are. They just see you as a mother and not an individual. They are scared that you will dump everything on to them or they just might not think they can handle the stress of being a father figure. One day you will find that guy that excepts you ( and your child) for who you are a mother and an individual. Good luck.
2006-08-25 01:52:40 · answer #6 · answered by Bowling Queen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are just not ready to have kids yet. Everyone has a different age or maturity level where they want that in their lives, and if a guy isn't ready to take on your kids I don't think you should view it as a character flaw. Better that than that he lie about it and hurt you and your precious child by hanging out and having fun for a while and then taking off.
2006-08-25 01:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by LaNell the Relationship Expert 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's just guys that walk the other way. I personally don't date anyone with kids due to the fact it's more then I want to deal with. They probably see it has you, your kid(s), and the father of the kid(s) and that's a lot to walk into if you don't have that yourself.
2006-08-25 01:50:38 · answer #8 · answered by kajasue123 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
not all guys fear kids.
but kids do make it hard to date. finding the sitter. and kids will aways come first and in a new relationship being second doesn't work even when you know why and who is first.
also it it gets to the point of sex, the kids are always a factor if or where or when.
it's hard to make it work with that much going on in the begining
2006-08-25 01:49:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
because when a relationship ends so does the one with the kids, its to protect their feelings from being slaughtered it doesn't make them a bad guy, just a cautious one, it is very easy to fall in love with children, and very hard when you have to give them up, and a guy that's 'just a bf" has no right to that child, and so why get caught up in something that they will never have?
2006-08-25 01:49:07 · answer #10 · answered by Dawn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋