Letting a newborn "cry it out"??

Question

I haven't been able to do it yet but have been told by a nurse at my pedi's office that when all else fails just lay them down and walk away and let them cry for up to 15-20 min. The babys father also thinks I might be turning him into a tiity baby,but hes just a month old and I feel as his mom I should be there for him as much as possible. He (the baby) cries due to gas pain,which he takes medicine for but still suffers from pain.

Answer 1

Let him cry it out...holding him is only going to wear you out. If daddy's home, you should go for a walk or something so you're not inclined to run to him.

Answer 2

No newborn cries because they want to. Babies are not liars. When they're hungry, they feel real hunger pains - and it hurts.
When they're hot, they're really uncomfortable.
Same as when they're cold.
When they have gas, it really hurts.
And the only thing that they can do is cry.
And the only person that he has to depend on, to try to help make it better, is you.

Don't leave your baby to cry. He is really in pain, and needs love.
If the medicine is not working, consult with the pediatrician again. Make sure that you're burping him right. Start patting at the bottom of the back, and then go up. This will help bring the gas bubbles up. Burp him halfway through feedings, and if he is still not getting better, than burp him every 1/4 way through feedings. Feeding him when he isn't hungry and has gas,can make the gas worse. Make sure that you cover his carseat with something light (I always used just a receiving blanket in the summer, winters have super warm covers). The wind can also cause more gas, because babies tend to swallow air when it's blown in their face. Don't drive with the windows down either. Air conditioning is best, instead of a windy car.

I've had a colicky baby before. Seemed like he would never stop crying. But, I did what I could because I knew that he was in pain. And when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore - I enlisted help. Grandma would come so I could take a nap.

I had a colicky baby, who I have never turned my back on. Nor will I. He's now a happy, healthy 13 yr old in gifted & talented curriculum. Who knows that his mother loves him, and has so far felt secure in his life.

Answer 3

Letting Newborn Cry It Out

Answer 4

What if the baby is just crying because she's way overtired? In this case, even if the baby is only 6 weeks old or so, I think it's OK to let the baby cry for a few minutes if you've tried everything else and she just won't calm down. Maybe you won't wait 15-20 minutes and let her cry herself to sleep, but maybe you'll let her cry for 5 minutes and THEN come pick her up. The books all say that you can't spoil a baby who's this young, and I believe that's true, but if they're really wound up and you've ruled out hunger or gas, then maybe they need a little bit of crying to exhaust them and help them get one step closer to shut-eye.

Answer 5

Children younger than 6 months old should not cry for more than 10 minutes. If he cries longer, you must go and check on him. Yes, of course, he is crying of pain or whatever. You are his mother, you are probably the only person, who can comfort him. Go and do not listen to anybody. The baby doesn't even realize yet that "if I cry long enough, someone will come and hold me". When he will get older, when he will figure this out, then yes, in some cases, you can ignore and let go for awhile.
i want to tell you a story. I have 2 children, and with the first one, as unexperienced mother, I had a lot of that stuff. With the second one I know so much, but.. As I would put my youngest to bed (she's 11 months right now), she would cry - pushing the buttons. But sometimes they cry because something happened. For example, my daughter always gets her legs stuck between the rails of the crib (and that's with the bumper). Sometimes I had to call for help because I could't get her legs out. So, when the baby is crying, go and check - what's going on.

Answer 6

Do not let him cry it out! He is brand new and trying to get used to his life and if he is gassy/colic on top of that and you leave him to scream can you imagine what his feeling of the world will be like? He needs to be comforted and held.I can see putting him down if you must go to the bathroom or something but dont just do it because you think it is ok.Screw what the dad or nurse says,they are wrong! Try to get a sling or front carrier and that way he will be close to you but you can have free hands to some degree.Also as he gets older he will adjust and the colic rarely last past 3 months.Hold him,nurse him,enjoy him,before you know it he will be running all over and not want to be held by you,this time goes by fast enjoy it cuz you will never get it back,its a gift.

Answer 7

No, DONT let your newborn helpless!
He is the baby and you are the MOM.
he is one month old for God's sake.
You are not supposed to let a baby that young cry it out. Unless you loose it and feel like hurting him, then let him in his crib and go out for a few minutes to have a break and collect your thoughts. Have someone else hold him when they can and take a walk. It is going to be hard for a couple of months.

i held my newborn for hours during the night when she was crying. I couldnt sleep or rest knowing she was in pain.
She also took medicine but it didnt seem to help at all.
Respond IMMEDIATELY to his cries.
You were not able to let him cry because you are a mother and you have those insticts that tell you "hold your baby when he cries.
There are other ways to help them later (to sleep on their own , not to be held the whole time etc) but now do what your motherly instict tells you to do, hold him.
Remember , in a couple of months he will be OK.

Answer 8

No way! I agree with Sunshine 1. Carry the baby around in a baby sling (trekker or whatever you call it). He's way too young for that. In some other countries the mothers carry around their babies in a pouch for a whole year! Lying down may be too uncomfortable for him. Have you tried drinking special herbal teas that help with colic? These are available through a health food store. Are you breastfeeding?Can you get some help? Can you afford a baby nurse or a doula? If I am able to have another child I am getting a doula.

Answer 9

DO NOT let a baby this young cry it out!!!!! Personally, I am totally against crying it out at any age. Even the "experts" who do recommend it DO NOT recommend it prior to 6 months of age!!!!!

It is NORMAL for a month old baby to be nursing all the time! It is HEALTHY for a month old baby to be nursing all the time!

Breastmilk digests in about 90 minutes. A 4 week old will probably still be nursing about every two hours around the clock with MAYBE one longer stretch of sleep in there somewhere. (And personally, I wouldn't let that one stretch be more than about 4 hours.)

There are A LOT of growth spurts in a child this young. 10 days to 2 weeks, 3 weeks, and 6 weeks are common growth spurt times. This means the child will need to eat almost CONSTANTLY during these time periods in order to boost your supply to the new level. It will last about 2-3 days each time.

Remember that babies are working to double their birthweight by 6 months. They NEED to eat frequently! Ask hubby how often he would need to eat if he had to double his weight in 6 months?!

When a baby this age crys, it is because he NEEDS something. It is how he communicates. As the parents, it is your JOB to respond to his crys. You are doing the right thing! A one month old baby IS NOT manipulative. If he is crying, he NEEDS something.

Also, keep in mind that for 9 months he felt/smelled/tasted/head mom all around him. He is still adjusting to life outside the womb. When he can't sense mom, it's upsetting to him. He NEEDS to be held. It is a true NEED.

Babies this young CAN NOT be spoiled. Something that is spoiled is something that is left up on a shelf to rot, NOT something that is paid attention to and given love!

Answer 10

It is perfectly ok to let the baby cry it out when you have tried everything to comfort him. Sometimes you do just have to let them cry themselves to sleep, but if he is crying due to pain I think you should hold him and comfort him. That way he will feel secure. Human contact is very important for children this young, they need to feel secure and safe and they rely on us as parents to give them that. I would only let him cry it out if you have tried everything, changed diaper, fed, rocked, walked around with him and what ever else you can think of, but comfort him if you know he is in pain. One other thing to try if he has gas is to lay him down on his tummy and rub his back in circle motions or gently pat it. For some reason laying on the stomach eases gas pain. I used to do it for my daughter when she was a baby.

Answer 11

Letting them 'cry it out' is good for an older baby, or if you yourself are getting upset and frustrated, it's good to just lay them down, walk away and take a few deep breaths, but I think that at only a month old, they're too little to be left wailing for that long, and too little to become spoiled.

My son was colicky and cried like that until he was switched to a soy-based formula, and now he's great, but there was a long time when the only thing that seemed to make life bearable for him was to be held in a facedown along my forearm position, and to be walked around to room.

If absolutely nothing else works, and you're at your wits end, then go ahead and put him in his crib. Odds are he'll be asleep within 15 minutes, but just doing it to 'Ferber-ize' the baby is a bad idea.