My sister was pregnant and lost her baby. I want to say something to her, but I don't want to hurt her feelings or anything. What should I say to comfort her?
2006-08-24 18:35:43 · 20 answers · asked by twiggles_who_giggles 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Ive lost 2 and there is nothing you really can say to comfort her without the possibility of her getting upset. Just tell her you are so sorry that she lost her baby and give her a hug.
and on a side note for everyone wondering what to say.. well here is what NOT to say "well there was probably something wrong with the baby" " you can always have more" (this was told to me by the ER Dr minutes after she told me my baby had died)
2006-08-24 18:43:03 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister's loss. I had a friend who lost her baby due to a miscarriage. It upset her. It was best that nothing at all was said to her she let very few people know anything. She didn't want to talk about it. I don't know what kind of person your sister is so bc of that I can't say for sure what you can say to her that won't upset her. Some women don't want to dwell on their loss and prefer to just move on. While others will want to talk about their loss and need a shoulder to cry on. Tell your sister that you are here for her and that you are sorry for her loss. I'm sure she will appreciate that you are here for her if she needs anything, but won't push yourself on her either. If she knows she can rely on you if she needs you she will open up to you. Her reaction will let you know what is too much and what isn't. Just let her know you care about her and just wanted to show your concern. Just keep in mind that most likely she will become a little upset no matter what you say to her. Give her time though to heal. Even if you don't get a response you are happy about within time your sister will see your concern and most likely appreciate you trying to be there for her. I know I would. I would stay away from comments that deal with the cause of her losing the baby or having another at this time. That may be the last thing your sister wants to hear. No matter what you choose to say or not say to her good luck! wish you and your sister the best!
2006-08-25 03:13:28 · answer #2 · answered by *Michelle* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things NOT to say:
next time it will be OK.
may be the baby wasnt healthy.
this or that woman had the same problem
half of pregnancies end up in miscarriage anyway
get over it, you will have other babies.
god has a reason
time heals all pain
may be there was a reason why you lost the baby
take it easy and move on.
She should punch you if you say smthing like that!!!!!
Ask her if you can do smthing for her. Tell her you are there whenever she wants to talk to smbody.
She will propably want to be alone and cry , she might not want anybody to ask her anything.
Remember, she lost a baby even if he wasnt born yet, she had dreams and she feels very sad.
2006-08-25 04:33:21 · answer #3 · answered by IRA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't say anything. Just sit down and hold her and let her do the talking and you do the listening. Be her shoulder, she is hurting and needs to cry and when she asks you questions answer her from your heart and don't be afraid of saying the wrong thing, because I don't think that your heart will let you. Just reinsure her that things will be fine and that she isn't alone and that it wasn't time for her baby to come into the world. The biggest thing i can't express enough is being there for her and allowing her the time she needs to heal. Both physically and mentally.
good luck and sorry to hear about your loss.
2006-08-25 08:54:46 · answer #4 · answered by evrythnnxs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't one universal phrase that will make the pain go away. There isn't going to be any words that someone can tell her that is going to make her feel better about losing a baby. I know. I lost 2 babies.. and there was nothing that anyone could say that made me feel better..
The only thing that you can do, is tell her that you love her, and that you're there for her if she needs someone. That's the best thing. Let her cry on your shoulder, let her talk to you.. listen to her. Show her that it's alright.. and that it's acceptable to be sad about this loss. That's what she needs.. someone to let her know that it's alright to be mad, sad, and frustrated.
2006-08-25 08:20:29 · answer #5 · answered by Imani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard to even try to approach your sister right now and I know that maybe you were looking forward for the baby as well, I lost mine at 8months (im 22) and the hardest thing to have to go through was dealing with my siblings because the were looking forward to meeting the new baby, they didnt know what to say or how to even look at me the same. But what the older one did, he's 17, was he just came up to me one day out of frustration that he couldnt do anything to make me smile (cause he always knew how to ) and held me in his arms and told me that we had a new angel in the sky watching over us, He also wrote me a poem about her, and read it at my baby's funeral (im crying right now just thinking about it,) this happened almost a yr. ago and it still hasnt settled.So hunny all i can say is just give her time but please make sure you hug her and cry with her because, i can almost guarrantee she will appreciate that more than anything. Good luck and please keep in touch and tell me how it went
Love,
Norma :)
2006-08-25 03:11:06 · answer #6 · answered by dancerchick02us 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry. Sometimes words just get in the way. A big hug and "I love you". But mostly love her. And try to shield her from questions from everyone about the baby. Some peope still ask so whens the baby due? and such, just try to tell your friends and family discreetly. Because everytime they ask she'll probably relive that horrible time all over. God Bless ya'll.
2006-08-28 03:18:34 · answer #7 · answered by amiilynn76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing to say really, one of the most horrible things that could happen to her did happen. Just be there for her and be a good sister and friend. Take her out to eat when she is up for it. Go shopping, spend a lot of time with her. She needs you, and she needs her family right now!
2006-08-25 01:52:14 · answer #8 · answered by .*AnNa*. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just went through this not long ago with my sister in law. It is never easy, but you want your sis to know you are there for her. I would just tell her that you are there if she needs to talk or vent or anything. Let her talk when she is ready. Just let her know that you are there and you care about her and what she is going through.
So sorry to hear about your sister's loss. Hugs
2006-08-25 14:53:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh im so sorry about what had happened to ur sister. Its very awful. And yes its difficult to comfort her ... coz if u say something and she doesnt like it ... it'll make worse ur relationship. Dont say that it's her fault for lost her baby.
u can hug her and say u'll be there for her, and say ur sorry what had happened ...
2006-08-25 02:18:34 · answer #10 · answered by Happythrower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋