my daughters pet rabbit died tonight and I feel terrible, how do I help her cope?

Question

he was acting sick, he wouldnt eat or drink and he died. I explained to her that he was very sick and might not make it and she started crying, I feel so terrible for her. She fell asleep and he was still alive... How do I explain this to her? She's only four and doesnt understand about death. I dont wanna break her heart and tell her that he died. How can I help her cope and what can I do to ease her mind?

Answer 1

make her a sandwhich...just dont put mayonnaise on it....rabbit isnt as good as it sounds with mayonnaisse

Answer 2

Even though this will be a very sad experience for her, it is a great opportunity for her to learn at a young age about death. Focus on the positive--explaining to her about the cycle of life and how the greatest gift is the time she got to spend with the bunny and now she has the memories that can live forever.

You may also want to consider getting her another pet, and preferably a young one, so she can focus her attention there. Explain that the new pet is not a replacement, but is just someone else in the world that needs her love and wants to share her time now that the rabbit is gone. Also, I might suggest a cat or some other type of animal that has a much longer life expectancy than a rabbit does or she will be facing another dead pet very soon.

Good luck with this. It is hard, but some good can actually come of this!

Answer 3

This would be a great opportunity to teach her about death. Yes she will be sad, but just think. Wouldn't you want your first death experience to be with a bunny and not with a family member or friend you are close to? This will give her a chance to learn and teach herself coping skills.

You should explain that the bunny got very sick, site a time she was sick with a cold or flu ect. and let her know that it was a sick like that but much much worse. Tell her that the bunny was too sick so God came to take care of the bunny up in heaven. Explain to her that the bunny won't need his body because now he is an angel and can fly with God (if you do not believe in God please insert your believe here). Have a funeral for the bunny and help her to write all the good things she loved about the bunny and you can read them together at the ceremony. Let her say goodbye to the bunny and bury it. Let her ask any questions she has and answer them very truthfully. The worst thing a parent can do is lie about a serious matter. EVENTUALLY your child is going to find out about death, don't you want to be the one who teaches her? IF she cries, don't tell her to stop or sound her out.

Let her cope with tears or anger perhaps. All of her emotions should be validated and not ignored or minimized. Just let her know you understand WHY she is feeling this way and that eventually she will not feel so bad. Let her draw a picture of bunny and keep it in safe place so she can think of him when she wants.


If she is four, she may just not care about the bunny at all! Don't let this strike you as odd or scary, a lot of four year olds minds just are not ready to handle death. You may tell her the bunny died and she may simply ask for a new one. IF that is the case, save the death talk for LATER. DO NOT pressure her to learn about it unless she is ready.

Answer 4

You need to know that it is a very important time for her when this occurs. Your stability and sensibility are what she will remember more than any words can describe. I would explain that all living things in the world have to leave us at some time or another, sometimes because of what they are suffering from. The rabbit was very sick and he is in peace now. It may help her if you let her feel that the rabbit still loves her and God is taking very good care of him if you believe in that. But the important thing is how you act while telling her. Children are smarter and more perceptive that they get credit for, she will hurt for a while and tell her it is okay to feel sad and to cry when someone close to us passes on.

Answer 5

Children can cope better than you think if you just give them a chance.
Get a sturdy box to use as a cofen. Put it in a closet close a hand so she can see you go get it. Put an old towl or blanket piece that you are willing to bury clase to the rabbit.

Go wake up your daughter. Tell her that ( rabbits name) stop breathing.
Put on her robe. She is going to need it.
Now let her hold the rabbit wraped in the blanket.
Let her grive. It is normal. She is going to cry, and this is good.
And this is the hard part for you. Encourage her to cry . " I know it hurts darling, you can cry he was your friend. You will feel better."
Remember this is for her not you or the rebbit.
If you tell not to cry she will her mind will interpet it to mean 'you don't care'.
Telling her to cry will mean that you understand and you care about her feelings.
When she askes you to fix it.
Tell her that dadys' can't fix the dead.
Doctors take care of the sick.
God takes care of the Dead.
And Daddys take care of their children.
That's Why your woke Her up. To Help you prepair rabbit for his long time that he will spend wiith God.
Get the box out. ' I think this might work. What do you say.' Listen very carefully to her. You are building on that life long trust right now. She may say as little as OK. But that will be a lot in the long run.
Now "Do you wont to wrap him blanket so he will always feel you are close.'
Let her put straw in the box or even a little food if she wonts to. This is for her to say good-by.
If you live in an appartment this is the point that you have to bury him tomorrow.
If you are in a house go get a shovle and a big flash light and a blanket,if it is just the two of you. If not you may wont to ask your wife to come out side to sit on the blanket with your daughter and the rabbit until you get the grave dug.
One last thing. Make the grave deep enough that the box sits in the bottom and the dirt on top will be at least as deep as the length of the shovle head. Pak the dirt hard. Or your daughter will wake up like mine, to find another animal had dug up a shalow hole and a torn up box with nothing inside.

Answer 6

A couple of years ago, one of my elderly cats was really sick, so I had to put him down. A few months later, the next oldest cat was sick, I put him on meds but it didn't work. I found him "sleeping" comfortably in front of the tv one day - at least he went in his sleep I guess. Not even a month later, my oldest dog all of a sudden got sick. I guess he must have been sick for a while, but just didn't show it. His kidneys were failing quickly. Had to put him down too. I still have the dogs brother and four cats, so even though I miss the three that have passed away, I'm not lonely.

If it might help, you could tell your daughter that her bunny is with two really friendly loving cats and a really cuddly dog now and they are all really happy together because they aren't sick anymore and they have each other. And that sometimes pets are needed by other pets who were sick because they're lonely and she has you to keep her from getting lonely. And, of course, that her bunny can still see her in her heart and loves her very much. And if she is afraid to get another pet and you think she should, tell her the bunny would be happy that she got another pet to keep her from not getting too lonely.

Answer 7

Although you don't want to break her heart, it's going to happen anyway. She's bound to notice her bunny not moving. So, if you believe in heaven, it's a good place to start. Kids don't often understand the whole death experience at that age and it'll be too complicated, so start simple. Tell her that her bunny was sick and was hurting. Then tell her that he was hurting so much that God didn't want the bunny to hurt and took him home to be an angel. I'd avoid the whole burial thing...she's much too young and it would go into more complicated explanations. Just remove the bunny before she wakes up and don't let her see it. I have four boys and we've lost a few hamsters in between the years. Up until they were about six or seven, we did it this way and not only did they understand but they seemed almost relieved their pets didn't have to suffer. Good luck mom. Oh, and maybe talk to her about getting another pet...it often distracts the heartache in the little ones.

Answer 8

Do what you would do with anyone who has experienced a loss and is grieving: be there for her, and listen. Let her cry. Help her remember the good times, and help her find a way to fill that emotional hole. If you have photos of the bunny, now is the time to get them out, and talk about how wonderful he was. Maybe get out a box of crayons and some paper, and encourage her to draw a picture of him or make him a card.

A proper pet funeral can help provide closure, too. Depending on the area in which you live, he can be buried in a shoe box in your backyard, or you can have him cremated and help her find a place to scatter the ashes. Many places sell beautiful little pet grave markers, and being involved in the process of picking one out really helped me when I lost my first pet.

Our vet who specializes in grief counseling for those who've recently lost pets recommends a book called "I'll Always Love You" by Hans Wilhelm. It's written for children in the pre-school to 2nd grade level, you might be able to find it at the library. There is more information on it in the first link below.

Good luck with that. The loss of a pet is a difficult thing to go through at any age.

Answer 9

Death is a very diffacullt topic...to begin with. it is my suggestion to be honest with her; but gently. at four i beleive children have a sense of someone going away. Explain to her that pet is with god high in the sky, perhaps, by telling her that god is taking care of her pet rabit, for her, might reasure her....let her be a part of the burial. This will help her accept the loss. the key is honesty,and openenss to questions she may have, now and later..prompt responses are also important.

Im sure you will be up all night thinking about how to break the news...you may want to take her aside,and tell her perhaps of my suggestion, let her view her rabbit, let her mourn... try not to deny her feelings, for her feelings are real, just as all of us....it will be tough on you and she, but openess and honesty is the key here.

Answer 10

Be honest with her and tell her he went to rabbit heaven. He can eat all the clover and carrots he wants. All you can really do is be there for her and comfort her. My 6 yr old lost her duck when she was 5 and cried for a couple of days. She is fine now. But every now and then she will ask if Howard can still see her. She now has 2 dogs and 12 fish. She asks for another duck but I have to tell her the jack Russell/ winnie dog might hurt it. Hope it helps

Answer 11

this may be the best time to start telling her not only about death but loss. you can tell her that it's normal. it may hurt for the moment but she'll soon recover and understand. the next time she loses something (favorite toy, another pet, friend-not necessarily by death) she'll be able to handle the situation better than how she had it the first time (like the loss of the rabbit today).