My step daughter is homeless right now. She is in the middle of a divorce from her abusive husband and we didn't want the babies on the street. My 16 year old just doesn't understand. We just moved into a new house less than a month ago.
2006-08-24 17:34:24 · 51 answers · asked by Rennie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your house - your rules. End of discussion.
2006-08-30 12:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by Bullwinkle Moose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being 16,young adults often don't understand decisions made by their parents. Try asking him why he is so upset about them moving in. Whatever his reason try to make him realize that his step-sister living on the street is not a good idea, especially with two babies. Help him see that she is trying to make a life for her and her babies and she just needs a little help. If you have to, explain how bad the situation was before. Hopefully after he knows the details he will understand and be more understanding.
2006-08-29 09:51:47 · answer #2 · answered by fin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a big change for him. 4 months old are not alot of fun. Two is really no fun.
I imagine this change has really made him feel like he doesn't count. I think you should have a long talk with your step daughter and make sure that she understands that this is temporary measure and that this is not her house any more. Make sure that she understands that she needs to respect the 16yr old's privacy, don't expect him to watch the kids and she needs to keep their stuff out of his area's.
I would tell your son that your sorry this happened but sometimes life throws you a curve and this is the curve right now. You need to concentrate on him and what he is doing in his life and do not let your step daughter and her children take over the house or your lives. Do what you can to help her get on her feet, but this problem is hers not yours and she's the one who chose to have children. Your child needs your attention right now, she had her time, this is his.
2006-08-24 17:42:56 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First make sure he understands that this is a temporary situation until his step sister can find another place let him no that you are helping out those little bundles of joy and he wouldn't want any harm to come to them but make sure your sons stuff isn't being shoved to the corner and he isn't getting thrown out of his room cause i have a 16 yr old son and if i did that to him that would upset him just let him no helping out someone in need that will come back to him as a very good dead someday and if your son could be in his step sisters shoes for a few minutes he would problem understand that she feels bad putting you all out like this tell your son just to hang in there and smile it will not last for ever.
2006-08-24 17:48:37 · answer #4 · answered by satingold2005 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can not believe the responses to this question. There are alot of details left out of this scenario, and just because your son is upset, certainly doesn't make him a spoiled brat.
I understand that you couldn't let her and the babies live on the street, but did they take over his space? Does she boss him, expect him to do things because she has babies and no home?
If she took his room, shame on you. This is his home and he should have some rights that supersede her needs. If he has been pushed to the back burner, shame on you. You need to make sure he understands it is temporary, and that she realizes it is temporary. She is in a tough spot to be sure, but I bet this husband of hers was abusive long before the babies came along, and she really made a mistake. She has to suffer the consequences of those actions, not your son.
2006-09-01 17:19:51 · answer #5 · answered by Renae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try first to remember how smart you was when you was 16 and how real your problems were. No offense to young people but you will understand someday. My Dad gets smarter every day.Try to listen to this young man he has feelings that are just as real to him as yours are. Give him some space , let him know that you don't agree with all that's going on . His sister has made a bad decision at one time in her life but now shes trying to correct that .Find out what he's afraid of and don't be afraid to address them with sister after all your first responsibility is to the 16 yr. old. If not one day he will be coming back home to.I don't know if you folks go to church or not but Pastors can be of great help in these situations,and prayer works well to.
2006-09-01 15:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by don_steele54 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you and your hubby are the adults so try to explain to him that this situation is only temporary and tell him if wants to go and live with the abusive hubby to see what his step sister went through on a daily basis then he can. I am glad that you and your hubby took her in as so many women and young mom's get left out in the cold when something like this happens
YOU NEED TO BE COMMENDED FOR THIS
Good Luck and Take Care
2006-08-30 11:55:12 · answer #7 · answered by Dawn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure it is hard on him. He needs to realize that second marriages are not a one way street. If your husband's children need help, then they need help. Three extra people is a lot but try to get your son to feel less resentful. With the right attitudes a good relationship could develop between him and his step-sister.
2006-09-01 12:41:19 · answer #8 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he's jealous. Especially of the 4 month old twins. Boys can be like that. Just let him know that the attention that he's been getting will not change and that you both still love him. He's 16. He going into manhood.
Good Luck!
2006-09-01 08:40:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a twin also !tell her that she is Lucky to have parents that care and that you would do the same for-him! Tell them how hard it is to be a parent know a days ! tell them if you don't like it then deal with it or move out!and make sure you step daugther moves out as soon as she can!!!!!!!!because having 2 baby's is a lot of work for everyone!
2006-09-01 15:25:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what state your in but tell your son then if he is that unhappy and unthoughtful to go out himself and try it and maybe when he is homeless or at a friends house then he finds out rules are different or he has has to pay he way maybe he will grow up and realize what real good parents you folks are or if you have garage suggest he moves into it see how he will feel but know you are.....real good parents for not refusing your daughter ste-daughter or not and her no your grandchildren
2006-09-01 13:50:32 · answer #11 · answered by kustomflames@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋