I have gotten my daughter every other weekend since she was 6, now she is 16.We got along real well. The last time she was with me(bout 6 weeks ago)I thought I was going 2 have 2 move about 80 miles from here. She told me 2 call her when I got moved and tell her how to get there & she would come and visit me when it was her visiting time(She has a car)I ended up not having 2 move,so I didn't call her til it was near visiting time 2 let her know that I was still there.I also didn't call because she had told me when she left that she was going on a week long trip with a friend and her family, and said week after that she had band camp.So when I did call her, she acted like that was the reason she was mad,because I didn't call her and let her know.(I found out she already knew anyway)I don't really think that's a good reason for stayin mad so long, and think it's somethin else.If I could make her come legally,I could talk to her long enuff 2 find out the real problem.(won't answer phone)
2006-08-24 17:13:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't really won't to force her to visit, but I am wondering if her mother has talked her into not visiting me, or keeping her from visiting me some way, and that is why I was wondering about the legal thing to do, if I found out that her mother was behind it.
2006-08-24 17:41:30 · update #1
Remember when you were 16?
Did someone force you to do something you didn't want to do?
Did you resent that person?
Be honest, it was a long time ago.
Give her sometime, and send some flowers, I personally like roses, but carnations will do.
Tell her you love her and miss her.
She is 16 and her world is still going around in circles and will for a least another 5 years.
Patience dad.
2006-08-24 17:37:34 · answer #1 · answered by Here I Am 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although I understand that you would like to talk, I'm not so sure if forcing her would be the best idea. I suggest perhaps talking to whoever it is that has custody over her and ask that person how things are going on with her. She may be under stress and just taking it out on you. And even if she did know that you were not moving she may still be upset that you took so long to tell her, although I understand your reasons.
Just keep in mind that she is only 16, and her attitude is most likely just another part of that growing up phase.
If you are still intent on making her come, then I suggest reading up on parental rights in the state you live in. As long as she is a minor and you have already been granted visiting rights, then I don't see why you won't be able to see her.
2006-08-25 00:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by Nixxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look dude, I am divorced and I have two daughters ages 16 and 17. You will just have to give her time, and she will come around to see you. Yes, she is mad or she may even think you are upset with her and don't want to see her, and we both know that's not true. But let her have her space. If you can make her band engagements and other school activites, then go, let her see you there, and you are supportive of her, and she will open up to you. Don't worry about what the problem is at the moment. Don't try to fix anything. Just be her support; just be her Dad. Good luck and god Bless.
2006-08-25 00:44:12 · answer #3 · answered by savvyd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is 16 that is what the problem is! Its not you its her, she is going to have an attitude no matter what you do or say. Ignore the behavior. If you give her attention based on her behavior its like rewarding her , ignore it and she will come around. She could be hiding something to. Talk with the other parent , keep the communication open so she cannot be deceptive. Good Luck!!
2006-08-25 00:37:54 · answer #4 · answered by JodiBaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember being 16 - you will have to use a delicate approach at her age. Do not try to force her to do anything at this point - it would be counter-productive. Just let her know you are there for her and would like to spend time with her. It may be frustrating, but it's also a natural tendency for teens and young adults to begin the transition to more time with friends & activities. Do not see that as a threat. After they have been out and about a while, they will touch base more often and welcome you back into their world.
2006-08-25 00:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband goes through this with his daughter and I know it is hard but he has found out the best thing to do is give her time and then she feels like she won and will call on her terms. Don't drop contact send her a funny card with a short note attatched, and get tickets to something she would want to do and let her know you have them. At 16 you really can't make her come and if you try it will just make it all worse.
2006-08-25 00:19:22 · answer #6 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, she is 16. She is hurt and then you want to force her to visit? Doesn't sound like a very good plan to me. My son is 16 and communication is KEY. My ex and I have joint custody and we both talk to him every day. He is accountable to both of us and we talk to each other just to make sure he is on the right path. You need to call her often to let her know you care. Regardless of why you didn't call, she is hurt. Get her a cell and you can call her anywhere. That's what we did, and we hear from him more too.
2006-08-25 00:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by JULIE J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't legal but if you really think her mother is behind it let her know that untill the visitation starts again the child support stops it is not legal for you to stop child support but it is also not legal for the mother to stop visiation and at 16 your daughter isn't old enough to decided when she is gonna come that is part of your divorce decree
2006-08-25 01:05:53 · answer #8 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there is anything you can legally do. Once kids reach a certain age, the courts ask them if they want to visit their mother/father. If they dont want to, I dont think they have to. I would try to talk her. Find out her reasons for not wanting to visit. Hopefully her mother has nothing to do with it.
2006-08-25 16:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by Amanda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the laws in your state and how your custody agreement is written.
Realize, though, that if you force her to come see you, she's unlikely to forgive you for that.
Have you considered writing a letter to her?
2006-08-25 00:17:35 · answer #10 · answered by TechnoMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋