How can I tell my 5 years old girl that her Dad will never be back?

Question

She d never seen her Dad before and been asking since she was two :(

Answer 1

that depends on why he wont be back...

if he has passed away then you need to tell her that her dad is dead.... yes she will mourn and grieve... that is normal... but she needs to go through that all the same...

if he has simply left saying he will never come back then you need to tell her the truth... don't make up stories about it either way as when she eventually finds out the truth she will be very angry with you.....

Answer 2

Well unless he's dead you don't know that he will never be back for HER. By that, I mean although your relationship with him didn't work out, it's possible that he will want to see her later in her life. I don't know the circumstances, but I want to tell you that it is nevertheless your responsibility to your daughter to leave the door open so that the two of them can have contact some day. All of this is provided that he is a safe person for her to be around. If you are in some form of contact with him or his family, try to encourage him to call her or write sometimes by tellling him how much it would mean to her. By the way, is he paying child support?? You also owe that to her. Go file paternity and get support for her. Unless you are really unique, you didn't make her by yourself. And finally, for now, tell her that Mommy is a little sad that Daddy is gone , but you know what, the two of you will be just fine until the two of you pick a new Daddy some day! (If those are your plans) And tell her it is not her fault that he's not there because she is beautiful and smart and funny, so he's missing out. Get your dad, brother, uncle or grandfather to stand in for the real dad. BUT WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT have a parade of boyfriends in front of her, make sure you have a babysitter, and never take her with until you really know the guy. My girls are late teens now, but their dad was mean and nasty to me when they were really little and we divorced. It was so bad it would have been easy for me to eliminate him from thier lives (at least during that time), but I couldn't bear to hear them cry for him. All these years later, I made the right decision, he's a different person and the kids have their dad. Work it out. No one said this crap was easy.

Answer 3

5 year old child might understand and might not understand that his dad is gone. the best way is to leave things as they are and when hes mature enough you can tell him. if he asks where he is just tell him your dad went to work in a very far away. and if asks can i talk or want to see him tell him that you will see your dad one day (your not lie to him bec in heaven he will) and about the talk make a fake talk to his uncle or grand father (fake one) but after you explain the situation to them. and bring him some gifts in a month or two and say that this arrived from your father. this will make him confident and happy.

I know that when he grows up and knows the truth he will feel sad and all but in time he will forget it and go along

Answer 4

Just be honest!Explain everything simple but don't lie her.I have 7 kids,the youngets are twins,age 2.I divorced with their father a year ago.They have asked me why have I done that and I simply explained them thet their father did something bad which made me divorce with him.Explained them he drunk and told them that when a person drinks alcohol,his brain starts to work another way and he becomes even dangerous.So you can explain simply the reason why she will never see her father.But don't change her questions and the topic of the conversation every time she asks.It's a mistake.I don't know what has happened and it's definitely none of my business but if you want to know exactly what to tell her,write me an email and tell me simple what's the problem with her father,and I will tell you what can you tell her to understand and even forget about all this.I have 7 kids and they have asked me a lot of different questions,so I got it how to cope with that kind of questions,but you may feel it hard(maybe it's your first child) so I can hep you.My e-mail is [e-mail] If you need it,use it:)

Answer 5

Just be as honest as possible with her. You don't want to traumatize her if the situation is really bad. Let her know that there are people still there for her and family and friends who love her. Let her know it's OK to be sad. Let her know it's OK to show her feelings. Not having a father in a child's life is very difficult. I grew up without my dad and felt as if there was a hole in my heart that nothing could fill. I would cry because I couldn't spend time with my dad and make memories like the other children did. In school I didn't have my dad to go with to career day or have him come with me on field trips. It's not easy. All you can do is let her know you love her and try to comfort her as best as possible. Try to spend as much time with her as possible. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

I have a sister in law who has went through pretty much the same thing...I will tell you what finally worked for her...She sat her daughter down, and told her that her dad decided to make another life for himself that didn't include them..she reinforced the fact that she (the daughter) had nothing to do with that, he didn't even really know her when he done that. She also gave her daughter a picture of him so that she had a face to put with the name. It was hard on her for a couple days, but soon she was dealing with it much better. She got to show everyone a picture of her dad, and didn't feel so lost. I realize that a father like that shouldn't deserve that, but at least it made my nieces life easier...hope it works out....

Answer 7

At five years old she is old enough to be sat down and told the truth. Be gentile, but don't sugar coat or lie. Kids can always pick up on that when you do. I used to teach preschool, I had alot of children from broken and single parent homes. The kids where 3, 4,and early 5, and they understand more than we give them credit for. My dad passed away when I was two, I had alot of questions and my mom gave me all the unadulterated answers, and I understood. It will be harder on you than it is on her. See you imagine her missing out, wanting more, the truth is she doesn't know that feeling like you do. She has all the love in the world she needs from you. For her its just a question she wants answered, like a mystery she wants to solve.

Answer 8

She's 5 years old, and she's going to understand more than you're giving her credit for. Don't sugar coat it, and most importantly, don't lie to her. She's always going to remember that you lied to her.. and it's going to hurt MORE when she's older and learns the truth.

I don't know if he died, or is just a dead-beat-dad who's never going to be around... but either way.. tell her that she had a daddy who loved her enough to make her, and can't be with her. Tell her why.. tell her it's because he's not alive anymore.. and make death a lesson that's positive.. If you're religious.. tell her that he's in heaven with the angels and he's with her everyday wether she sees him or not.

If he's just not around.. tell her that too. Tell her that her daddy wanted her to be the happiest little girl in the world.. tell her that he's not there NOT because he doesn't love her, but because he knew that he might not be able to make her the happiest little girl.

Don't bash him.. that could make it worse. Make it positive, and tell her the truth.

Answer 9

Why won't he be back? Did he die? Otherwise never say never. Tell her the truth but not to many details until she is older. Never slam the man she came from, she'll resent you in the end, do the best job you can do for her and chances are she will be just fine.

Answer 10

Remember that she's 5, so be careful of what you say. What about this; sometimes boys and girls have a mommy and a daddy, sometimes they have just a daddy, and sometimes they have just a mommy. You have just a mommy, but what's real important is that your mommy loves you. Did he pass away, or did he just flee the scene? Ask her why she wants to know and explain again that not all boys and girls have both parents. She's real young to give any other explanations.