Is not disciplining a child just as harmful as abusing them?

Question

By discipline I mean any sort of punishment, not just physical. Do you think there is in increase of parents who do not discipline? If so, why do you think that is? How is it affecting the children?

It seems that I may have confused some of you; sorry if that was worded awkwardly. I meant, is no punishment for children at all, abuse in itself?

It seems a few people are confused. I never said discipline was abuse. In fact I do not think this way at all. I said "Is NOT disciplining a child just as harmful as abusing them?" Please take the time to read before you answer the question.

I never said I had a child. I'm much too young for that.

PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU ANSWER!
I NEVER SAID DISIPLINE WAS ABUSE. IN FACT, I ASKED THE EXACT OPPOSITE!

Answer 1

Okay, I have so much to say on this subject, but I'll make it short....Yes, it is just as harmful not only to the child but also to people who have to deal with the child...Yes there's an increase of parents who do not discipline because: they are too lazy to do so, they think it's easier to just let them do what they want, they don't know a way to go about it, some parents think that children without punishment are happier (but that's so wrong), parents are inconsistent with discipline; when they say something like "you can't go if you behave badly" they end up allowing the child to go anyways. This is affecting the child so much.....but I think that it affects others more. Children with no discipline are more prone to becoming criminals and this hurts society. They also affect the children they go to school with. I have heard of so many cases where a child starts acting up because of their classmates. Children without discipline, I think, can accumulate to a more dangerous environment. If I could do something about this, I would make it so that parents would have to take parenting classes every so often so that they know how to raise their children correctly and give them discipline without physically hurting them.

Answer 2

Children need discipline. They need to know the differences between right and wrong. They need to know how to follow rules and obey laws. They need to learn about respect. We all know that there are various forms of discipline. Even a "talking to" is a form of discipline. If a child is never punished when they do something wrong then they'll never learn that what they did was wrong and they'll keep doing it and get into serious trouble later in life. I think that some parents are afraid to discipline their children for fear of being labelled "abusive". Some parents don't discipline their children because they had been abused and don't want to be "abusive" themselves. Some parents feel that the best way is to let their children make their own choices and learn the hard way. As far as how it's affecting children today all you have to do is look around. The trivial side is children running wild in stores and restaurants, not keeping their hands to themselves or the way that they talk to their parents. On the more serious side look at the children who are joining gangs, beating people up just for kicks and killing people just because they have a problem with being picked on at school. Look at how many teenage girls become pregnant and how many teenagers use drugs. I feel that a lot of this is because too many parents don't discipline their children.

Answer 3

Why would a child stop doing something that benefited them for the moment if they didn't know there was going to be a consequence. The reason we discipline is to guide a child into what to do and not to do. Being too lax and not giving guidelines is going to get your child hurt and screw them up. I'm sorry, but it's just a little too polically correct, hippy thinking.

You can definitely over discipline. When too many guides are set rebellion ensues whether it's a four year old or a teenager.

I think the more politically correct everybody is getting, the more screwed up children are being raised who either are in jail, resentful, or pansies.

My parents didn't put strict guidelines on me. They established what was proper and what was allowed. There would be a warning and then a punishment. I've hardly ever gotten in trouble.

So many parents are allowing too much independence, and the results are children who don't feel as cared for--despite what they would actually admit.

Anytime a parent disciplines, he should afterward reassure the child that he's not upset with him but what he did and that he will always love him.

See, I'm not that cold!!

Answer 4

This is a really good question and I just don't want to argue with you, but I need to make my point here.
You see...I am not American, I don't live in the US even though I am totally involved with its culture, which I respect. However, I disagree with the careless parenting in America and the lack of discipline nowadays. I would say that is root of all evil.
In our Latin America society, parents have a word in everything, especially when it comes to raising their children. A parent in South America would never allow a child to talk back to him. That kid would be severely punished, not to say hit or at least slapped.
I believe getting physical might not be the best way to raise a person, but sometimes it is more than necessary.
There is a big gap between disciplining and abusing. The first one is done with love and the second one with ignorance.

Answer 5

Yes, not discipline is just as bad, than abusing them, though abusing them is worse. I used to get spankings and I feel I turned out well. I had no urges to blow through my school and kill everybody, I didn't kill my parents, I learned that their are consequences for my actions, and that responsible society doesn't tolerate me getting out of line. I do believe that there are an increasing amount of parents who refuse to discipline their kids, saying that they are just asserting their individuality, when the reality is the kids are playing the parents. READ YOUR STATE LAWS!!! EVERY state has a law on its books telling what is acceptable form of disipline. Those of you who like to physically discipline will be happy to know that you can spank your child, IN PUBLIC, as long as you do not break the skin. You just have to know your law, and not let these people boss you around.

Answer 6

I think a lot of parents nowadays are trying to be their children's friend rather than a parent. This is very sad and when it becomes time to put on the parent cap it is quite awkward. Children learn from example and as such parents need to be disiplinary also. Not to the extent of being physically, emotionally, financially etc. abusive, but to lay down perimeters that they expect their children to follow. Failure to do so will result in consquences for the child. There are so many social issues in our world today ie: parents abusing substances, working poor, latch key kids. These kids can't be blamed for that and quite often have no parental involvement. But as far as your question goes, sorry for wandering, I do not think discipline should be viewed as abuse, if used correctly

Answer 7

Parents have to teach rules to their children, It is a pity when in a school you notice that some kids have not any discipline at home or parents complain because teachers are not spoiling their little brats.

It is also a question of respect. A kid with no discipline won't respect other kids.

Kids need to learns that in the real world (not MTV, not videogames) there are RULES and if they break the rules they are going to be punished. Parents have to teach their children good behavior and be PARENTS not FRIENDS.

Answer 8

Children need discipline so that they will know unacceptable behaviour from acceptable behaviour. However, they don't need to be hit. Ever. With anything. A child can be disciplined without harming or causing physical pain to them. I could never in good conscience cause physical pain to my [future] children. I was 'punished' as a child with physical punishment, and lots of it. The worst involved whatever was handy to throw at me, and the least violent was with clothes hangers and belts. Maybe it's because of my personal experiences, but it would kill me to inflict physical pain on my children.

Answer 9

If you don't discipline your child, the child will be telling you what to do. Parents are afraid to discipline their child. Why, because children can call it abuse. Children in today's society have no respect, due to lack of discipline.
Children can threaten parents and get by with it. Children are abusing parents, however it's the parents fault.

Answer 10

I truly believe that the reason kids are so damn out to lunch now a days is because of this lack of discipline. They took the ability to discipline kids away from teachers, and now they are slowly taking it away from kids. I don't think you should be hitting kids here there and everywhere for whatever reason. But they do need to know that there is a hierarchy. I am the adult (boss) - you are the child. I think we are moving in a dangerous direction where there is a bunch of parents who are afraid of their children. the law is starting to put the power of the child over the power of the parents and caregivers and it can only be disastrous for us all, especially the kids.