What would you do if..........?

Question

........you discovered that someone you are dating has had a hardcore drug problem years before you met them? Do you run like hell or look past it?

Good answers. I'll give 10pts out very soon.

I told my friend he shouldn't bother with the girl he was dating. I hope I wasn't wrong or unfair!

Answer 1

You should look past this and give this person a chance. There are so many people in this world that have had drug addictions and have been sober for many years. These people have changed their lives for the better. When a person really wants to change they will change and never look back. It is up to the individual to know where they want to be in life. Put yourself into this persons place and ask yourself how would you feel if you were dating a woman and you told her about a drug problem you had years before you met her but you have been clean since. How would you feel if she told you I don't want to date you because of your past problem even though you don't do that anymore? It wouldn't be fair would it? Seeing that this was in your past and you have taken necessary steps to better yourself. If anything you should take this person under your wing and put more positivity into this person's life. You should be this person's motivator to be a better person. We all have things about us that are just as bad as drugs but people tend to make good excuses for those problems because they don't seem as big and important as hardcore drugs. I have two uncles that were on true hardcore drugs in the streets. Both of them have been clean for over 30 years. One is a preacher, and the other earns a good living as a construction manager. They are both very well. Give this person a chance and don't judge them for their past. We are not perfect and never will be.

Answer 2

Well, how did they "discover" the past drug usage? Did the person confide this information to them, or did the other person have to find out on their own. If the later, I would make sure the information was accurate first off, and then you've got to sit down with the person and discuss it. Examine the quality of thier life now. What triggered that type of behavior before. What is the possibility of a recurrence of that behavior? And anyway, is this person a prospect for a longterm relationship or marriage? How serious is the relationship? If it's not that serious anyway, why not be a friend to them. Those are the things that you have to consider, as well as how long ago the alleged drug abuse occurred. People can and do change, but you won't be the one changing them, that's something they have to do for themselves. And if you think you're going to run across someone without any history, good luck to you, unless you're dating kindergartners.

Answer 3

If they have moved on, become a stronger person, dealt with the real reason they were addicted and moved through it, then I would probably welcome them with open arms.
There was a point in time when drugs consumed me, it was a lifestyle, I made the choice to change and alter my life (which did include no longer hanging out in those circles). That was just over 5 years ago, it is an aspect of what makes me who I am today, but it doesn't rule me anymore. It was an experience, one that I never care to revisit.
It would all depend on the person, I think if drug use is something the other person has experiences as well they can respect you more for being able to climb out and become whole.

Answer 4

Holy cow man. Lots of people had serious drug problems 20 or 30 years ago. That was the thing to do, get high and try to reach utopia. If I was dating someone like you mentioned I'd let them know how proud I was that they survived that lifestyle. I also used and abused various substances years ago but know a couple very good buddies that died from China White and am grateful that I did not succumb to this fate. So give credit where credits due.

Answer 5

I am with someone who had a problem. I didn't run. I just keep an eye open for any signs that the problem may be coming back. You aren't with a convicted murderer - just somebody who screwed up and is now living straight.

Answer 6

Look past it but be prepared to run like hell if they pick the habit up again.

Answer 7

Run like hell! Once a drug user always a drug user

Answer 8

Don't be afraid to ask questions about it- if you're both in love, they'll understand your need to understand. Try to be supportive and look past it. Accept it as a part of her, and then let it go.

Answer 9

If they are clean now, why wouldn't you look past it? Everyone's made mistakes.

If they continue to abuse drugs, however? Get out of that situation.

Answer 10

Well, it depends if you want to walk that road with them....It is quite a monumental task, it is not the sexy choice, but if you could reach just one persons life...isn't it worth it??? not meaning to ask you a question back, but it is a little food for thought!!