Maybe popular is the wrong word. I worry sometimes that while I try to teach my son to be compassionate, well mannered and social I wonder if his peers will not be able to relate to him. Have any of you out there, for any reason worried that your son/daughter wouldn't/doesn't have any friends? Any advice regarding this matter, first hand or otherwise would be appreciated.
Older girls love him (over 12ish), younger girls (2-5) and adults find him charming but he is having a difficult time forming friendships with boys his own age (4ish).
2006-08-24 16:14:26 · 12 answers · asked by peacein 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks for all your advice so far. Just to clarify:
I'm not as worried about my son's popularity right now, it's more when he starts school, I don't care if he's the most popular kid in the class (in fact I would prefer if he's not), but I do want him to form concrete solid relatiohsips with his peers. It is about his happiness, I see kids in the classroom that are picked on or pushed aside when it comes to picking teams, it's difficult to watch. Perhaps working in the education environment is part of the reason I worry about this.
2006-08-24 17:04:48 · update #1
Well it sounds like he has one great thing going for him, a mother who is concerned and involved!!! Yea you, and good for him. I worry about the same types of things because my little girl gets along better with boys than girls etc. There is so much we want to protect our children from, but the truth is there are no easy answers, even popular kids feel pressure and stress. It sounds like allot of people like him and that is a great start. My best advice is to keep being the supportive and loving mom you are. He will face difficulties, we all do. Just make sure to keep your fears in check, relax and show him by example that everything will be OK, and you believe in him and think he is the cats pajamas.
One other thought I had is that he seems to get along great with girls, not a bad thing, but does he have a male role model? Maybe you can find a martial arts class or something that will help him in allot of different ways. He already has so much going for him, don't worry build on it. And I will try to worry less too. :)
2006-08-24 16:38:55 · answer #1 · answered by crct2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is 11yrs old ( he has managed through his uncle who is a Junior in High school) to also make friends with these boys. My son, however, is by no means popular. Do I worry about this? No. We aren't the type that care for "popularity". We could care less about this. We care more about loyalty and we trust no one, this is why friendships are not our top priority. Sometimes it is better to do your own thing and not worry about friendships. Loyalty and respect are his main concerns, I echo my sons sentiments, maybe your child feels the same way. Few know what it means to have integrity let alone respect. Perhaps your child feels the same as we, find out and ask.
2006-08-24 16:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by doesitmatter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at some point in their life everyone worries about how well liked their child is, it sounds to me like if you keep him going the way he is he will probably have a hard time relating to people his age for the rest of his life, but in a way thats not a bad thing because hes just more mature at a younger age..Dont really have any advice im sorry
2006-08-24 16:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by kaosvarkas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, My mom says that when I was abt that age I used to be very quiet and shy, but as I grew older I guess I grew into myself and started being more outspoken, and I made more friends.
By the time I hit high school, I was popular...and so maybe you should just let yourself relax abit and see how your kid progresses as he grows older, Its good to also give him alot of encouragement. As he gets more confident he will make more friends etc.
2006-08-24 21:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm actually worried because she is popular. Kids turn on one another so quickly these days.
As Heidi Kluk says "One day you're in, the next you're out"
That would be a hard blow to take.
2006-08-24 16:30:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's only 4! he barely has a personality. he will be fine if you let him explore different activities. that way all of his peers will have something in common. but if you force him into an activity that he doesn't like he will show in his body language that he doesn't want to be there, so his peers will reject him.
2006-08-24 16:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Introduce him to all kinds of people. He will eventually find people who enjoy being with him. Teach him the best way to be a friend is to be interested in other people. When you show interest in others, they begin to show interest in you.
2006-08-24 16:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by PP4865 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just a kid. He's going to change several times before his true personality settles in. Take him to the park to get use to other kids. He has to get use to other kids, other kids will not get use to him, because they're kids hun.
2006-08-24 16:21:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what you mean! my child is very shy, and it is hard for him to make friends at school. i have let him join baseball and flag football to try and be around more kids his age (5). it seems to be helping a little bit. hopefully kindergarten will help too.
2006-08-24 16:23:29 · answer #9 · answered by angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
2006-08-24 16:19:33 · answer #10 · answered by da_hammerhead 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋