My life has been a living hell the past year, how do i get relaxed so i can concentrate on school?

Question

My dad cheated on my mom after 17 yrs of marriage, i had to start a new school, my old school was a 1A this one is a 5A, and ive gone to the small school my entire life, my dad stopped talking to me, and he is so close to killing himself, my mom has been REALLY sick and ive had to take care of her, and at the end of school last year, everyone started hating me and talking about me, and i started cutting myself, but i stopped, and i just feel really deppressed all the time, and so many other things, on top of that, i just turned 13 so how do i calm myself so i can concentrate on school, and ive had deppression for 3 yrs

and another thing is, i can never finish my homework, no matter how hard i try, so i have to stay up late, trying to finish it, not finish, then take a shower and all that stuff, then wake up super early in the morning so i wont get in trouble, i want to make a good impression on my teachers, and so i fall asleep in some of my classes, and it feels like no one understands me, i just feel so depressed all the time, like right now, i cant concentrate on homework cuz im to depressed, and i have to get a shower, and all that stuff, then wake up early in the morning to finish it

i have never had a normal life, i do not know what it feels like to be completly happy, i really miss my dad, but he never talks to me, and my mom is always sleeping, and i have to cook for myself, and so i usually dont eay much, in fact, one of my friends thought i was anorexic, i get super excited when my dad even just does something simple for me like drive my somewhere, and i was always hated at my other school, some people havent even noticed that im gone, and ive gotten really good at putting a "mask" on, so people think im perfect, but inside im dying, ive always had to take care of my mom, in some way, cuz my dad never would, and now they got a divorce, and things are just really hard on me

Answer 1

I teach middle school. I would STRONGLY suggest that you make an appointment with your school counselor as soon as possible! You have so much stress in your life and your counselor would have some ideas for you. Try to separate your school life from your home life. When you are at school, enjoy, and find some comfort in the fact that you are being taken care of. You have structure and safety. Hopefully you will be able to connect with a teacher soon and that would help you also. You DO know that you are not responsible for your parents actions, either past or present. Us adults can be very narrow and self centered when we want to be. I wish I could help you more, but please find your counselor and go from there. Don't cut yourself anymore, please. I don't know about you, but I care about you and your well-being (honestly, I don't know that you are NOT one of my students!) Take care of yourself. Especially if you don't feel like anyone else is taking care of you.

Answer 2

Your life is what you will make of it. Set small goals and once you accomplish those, up the anti... so to speak. Like, make it a goal to finish at least one subject of homework a night. I know they pile the homework on. I have a teenager in middle school who has to do some of her homework at school to get it all done. And some days are worse than others. Also, be sure to get adequate sleep. You must make it a goal to be in bed by 8 or 8:30. When you get a good nights sleep, it makes it easier to face another day. Try to make it your goal to be able to finish all your homework assignments by christmas break. Then, when you get your routine going you can add more things to the list. Don't try to build rome in a day.
Also, call around to local churches and see which ones have bus services in your area. Being closer to God will help you through tough times. And He does answer prayers. Going to church will give you an outlet for friends. Teenagers at school are not always helpful when it comes to making friends. Perhaps someone in your class is very quiet and doesn't know how to approach you to become friends and since you feel the same way, you guys will never be friends.
Self mutilation is not good. The prison I work at has a lot of inmates that do that. What you are doing is punishing yourself for things you did wrong or things you think you should have done and couldn't do. If you have an issue with yourself, then punish yourself by not watching your favorite TV show, not by cutting on yourself. Because while the worse that could happen is your death, the very least is ugly scars that will follow you for the rest of your life.
Your parents are having a hard time of it, don't let them get you caught up. They are adults who make their own decisions. Aside from letting them know that you love them, there is nothing else you can do. I agree with Helen. You should talk to your counselor and let her know what you are going through. If you are under too much stress, they can reduce your classwork so that you don't flunk your grade. I am going to be praying for you. God bless you.

Answer 3

I couldn't have said it better that Helen T. Go to the school counselor tomorrow! Is there an aunt you could go to? I feel bad for you because I started getting abused when I was 12 and I couldn't concentrate on school either. I'll say a prayer for you.

Answer 4

Don't kill yourself! Talk to your counselors and see if they can't pull strings so that you might actually want to stay in school. Tell your parents also about how you feel. They can get you help for your depression.

Answer 5

Wow! You've had more to deal with that most adults, and you seem to be taking responsibility for a lot out of your control. Please understand the state of your parents and their marriage isn't your fault and you can't control what happens with them. Then find a trusted adult to confide in. They can help you manage what you can control in smaller, easier-to-handle pieces. Set goals for yourself that are things you can control. Set yourself up to succeed with the things that someone your age should be working on.

Everyone has people that don't like them and talk badly to them or about them. What you control is how you deal with them. I'm 34 and I still have people who try to talk down to me and push me around. But you will learn over time like I have to look those people in the eye and stand up for yourself. You are worth standing up for.

Answer 6

You've been though a lot. Tell your councelor. They can help, and have ways to help you relax and talk about your problems. Like everyone else said , I agree with them.

Answer 7

try talkin to the school councilor. thats what they are there for. they will provide u with the help u nid to cope with school life and hopefully with ur family problems.

Answer 8

If you want to talk I'm centaur1122 on Yahoo! Messenger