Naked pictures of his ex...should I be worried?

Question

My guy has naked pictures of this girl he dated for a good 4 years.
Throughout the relationship she cheated on him and did all sorts of crap stuff to him, he claims he has no feelings for her. I believe him on that. If ever she comes around he's usually hideously annoyed and refuses to be near her. I'm just worried about him looking at them because I've mentioned to him..."hey, I know you have them...you told me...why do you still have them it makes me feel jealous" He then replied, "they mean nothing and I don't even look at them." That last part is a lie because I know where they are and they have moved through different pages of a magazine. (he doesn't know i know where they are...) He's definetly been looking. Though he only looks when I'm not at his house and pretty rarely. Should I be worried or just let him do it? He may think it's just like porno? She's reasonably attractive, so i could understand...help?

Answer 1

I have some pictures of a couple of ex's. After what they put me through there's no way I would ever get involved with either of them again. But they are beautiful naked girls and I sometimes look at them and ...
I don't think you have to be jealous of the pictures if he doesn't want to go back to the girl who posed for them.
They have more arousal value than a magazine picture.
A little self gartification is harmless and you said it's not frequent.
Offer to trade pictures of you if you think he could be trusted to hide them better and let him take them.
If you aren't up to posing nude just forget about it. Consider it his own personal porn collection. He went through a lot to get it. The only good thing from a bad relationship. After you and your guy get closer he'll have to reconsider or maybe you'll be ready to pose for the replacements.
It's not worth a confrontation. Let it slide for now.
It doesn't have to be the big fight that all the young girls above are recommending. Don't do ultimatums.
Besides, You might need those pictures to blackmail his ex someday.

Answer 2

I would say he still has issues about/with her. Not so much the pictures because everyone likes to look at something nice and those are memories for him. I think they should be put away and maybe looked at once a year. But the fact that he is so incredibly annoyed when she is around, coupled with him still viewing her pictures enough that they are easily accessible to him spells trouble. It seems he should have let it go by now. He sounds obsessed about getting over her. He might really want to, but maybe needs some help. I am not sure you could do that, a therapist could if he was willing. That could cause trouble for your relationship by talking to him about it. In the end I guess it is about how you feel. Can you put up with it? Do you want to? Would you want to be engaged or married to a man that does this? It is up to you to decide. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Okay, the hard part is going to be getting him to actually talk to you. He's automatically going to go on the defense, right? So you need to first ask yourself, "Do I really want to know why?" You need to consider all possibilities in this matter, and face hard facts. The reason he still has them may not be something you want to hear. I'm sorry to sound like this, but I've been in a situation like this. The problem now, is: if you let it go, and the answer is something you're not going to like, it might come back to where you *have* to face it.

If you're going to ask him (and understand that the answer might be something you don't like), you must first convince him that you're not going to flip out. This is going to take some courage on your part, because now you can't flip out; this will also take some bravery, because now you *can't* flip out. Try gently bringing it up when you feel right. Don't pressure him too much. If he shuts down right away, assure him that you are concerned, but that you trust him. Don't mention it again for a while. Then try again. This is going to take a lot of patience, but if you're concerned, you need to talk to him, and he should listen, but he won't listen if he's scared and thinks you're going to get pissed.

Good luck...

Answer 4

It may be that he doesn't want to part with them because he considers them a part of his past and doesn't want to forget that, or it may be that he does still harbor some feelings for her deep inside. I don't know that you will ever get the truth however. Or at least a truth that will satisfy you. I would think that if he truly despises her, he would have no problem getting rid of them.

Answer 5

I wouldn't worry to much about it. They will eventually go away as time goes, they are merely a way for him to subconsciously hang on to what he no longer has or wants, most likely a last effort to connect with what good memories may be there.
Time heals all, let it do its thing!!

Answer 6

hey chick, u answered mine, and i liked ur answer, so i'm answering urs. I think u should stand up to him and tell him that if their are no feelings there, then he needs to let them go! Ask him how he would feel if u had naked pics of ur ex (sometimes u gotta switch the situation for them, they just seem to not be able to do it themselves! lol). If he says that no feelings are there, ask him why he continues to hold on to them.

Answer 7

I think it's natural to want to get rid of something like that IF you come across it. BUT don't hold it against him if he doesn't think about it buried in his closet and you come across it. The different pages in the magazine is B.S. He should definitely throw them away immediately if he looks at them constantly. Take some of you and give them to him. NO WAIT!!!! Take some really nasty hot ones of you and then tell him you'll trade your pics for hers!!! Then you take care of her pics (dart board, bonfire, toilet paper, etc..) Sounds like we've got it solved!!! Good luck on that sneaky little bastard!!!!

Answer 8

You are a really understanding girlfriend! I would have ripped those photos up the first time I saw them. I also like the first guys answer about swapping out the nude photos of her for ones of you. Great idea!!

Answer 9

Maybe looking at those pictures makes him feel like he has the upper hand on her. She cheated and broke his heart, but he has something on her that might piss her off if shown.

Dating four years, that not easy to get over.

Answer 10

I think you should be worried actually because even if he say he dont look at it maybe its just lying.Maybe he hides around to look at it. And whats the point of keeping it when your not gonna look at it.