Help? Stuck between a rock and a hard place?

Question

Ok, here's my situation:

My dad won't help me move out until I can keep a job past the probationary period (I just got fired from one recently). However, my brother and I have been living together for almost 3 years now and are both at the point of almost physical confrontration when we argue (we are literally yelling at each other in close proximity to one another). We both want me to move out, but my dad won't help me move out until I can keep a job (which is part of my problem having a mentall illness).

I am working with a job coach to rectify the situation and find a lasting job, but my brother and I constantly fight and it is not a healthy situation.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place and both my brother and my father are unsympathetic to my problems and present situation (only my mother is).

How is this situation resolved without argument and what is the berst way to resolve it (my family frequently attacks me verbally, and vice versa). It is a dysfunctional family

Sometimes I feel like decking my brother in the face and I know he has had those feelings as well (based on his physically intimidating presence, 5 foot 11 vs 5 foot 3).

I also have years of unresolved anger towards both my father and my brother and I want to seek counseling for it with them, but they feel they don't have a problem and that it is "all my fault."

Paul

My brother owns the house and we live together. I am not doing well financially and he has provided breaks on the rent.

Paul

To the poster who said for me to "grow up":

I am 30. I am working on getting my mental illness under control. I also have social anxiety and have trouble being around people. I am also working on getting that under control. That was a contributing reason why I have lost so many jobs recently. So it isn't just as easy as "keep a job." That's why I am working with a job coach in the first place.

Paul

Answer 1

Sorry...Father Knows Best!

Answer 2

I have an adopted daughter with mental problem so I sympathize with you greatly. Sometimes I know that it must feel like you are all alone and that there is no one that can help or will help you. Well let me tell you that this is not true. If you are of age then you can contact the local DCF and explain your situation to them and tell them that you are working to make your life better but you feel that the current situation you are in is not helping. There are group homes that you can get help paying for (SSI will pay for diagnosed mental problems) and there they will help you find and keep a job while providing a place for you to live. They are there to help people just like you in these situations. If you are not of age then they will come in and set up some type of program to help you. You can get help and you do not need to go through your dad. Just do the leg work and do what is neccessary. It may take time but your life is just that your life. Good luck.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, mental illness is still a stigma to some people. In someways, people thinks it's your fault, which isn't.Contact your local mental health clinic and ask them for help in this. Your father doesn't want to get involve, so he's out. Tell brother that you love him and wish that you both can get along better. Is there a way that both of you can remain neutral about certain things? Your family may not understand your mental illness. Get them a book about it. Perhaps, it will help them. If not, you've done what you could. Now it's time on focusing on your needs. Again, ask the clinic for a counselor for you, not your family. they won't go. So YOU need to learn how to change your feelings about them Good luck, dear. You're going to need it. meanwhile, try to find another job immediately. If not able to, then contact social security and apply for disability benefits. Social security automatically denies initially all requests. You'll have to appeal . This is how they wean out the freeloaders.

Answer 4

How old are you? Can you legally move out? Get some friends and get them to help you. Family violence is the most common kind and if you want to avoid it then you are headed in the right direction. If your family isn't open to counseling then you need to distance yourself and start a new family of friends, it will be much healthier for you. You have recognized/identified the problem and the solution, now you just need to go for it!!!!!! Good luck!!!!!

Answer 5

Your father is trying to teach you responsibility. He must know that you need his assistance. Keeping a job is an important social skill.

Mental illness aside, you know that fighting is not the answer. Next time your brother gets in your face, try walking away. Get your kicks out of confusing him, instead of hitting each other.

Good luck. I hope you can beat your demons.

Answer 6

Your father won't help you move out because he knows you can't survive until you can hold down a job. Come on, you can understand that. It sounds to me like you've all got issues. If you can't find an extended family member to take you in, maybe you should think about changing your attitude.

Answer 7

you have a way out... keep a job. Your mental illness cant be that bad or you would be disabled. Stop using it as an excuse, get a job and get out. If you had a job you wouldnt be spending as much time at home with your brother to fight. Grow up....

Answer 8

you sound like you are BI=POLAR and are not on your meds.....I have a son who is 27....the things you decribe are almost identical. Social Anxiety...wellll....I don't buy into that...MANIC depressive-BI-POLAR....is more that likely what is going on in your life.

Don't let your mental illness be a crutch that you cling on to for the excuses.....

You need to get your ownself in check.....The life coach can help but it takes YOU to be on your MEDS...to make life easier for you.

Your father shouldn't have to help you. You're 30...do it for yourself and depend on yourself....

Get the medical and psychological help from the professionals that can help you thru your mental dysfuntionalism!!!

Answer 9

Do you also have a third eye.
Whats the big whoop man suck it up and bury it in side your talkin about your basic livelyhood here.
Do it at work and at home and you will be better off.
Try to avoid all contact and don't reply to them if they start something.Be the bigger person here.
Also slather yourself with vasaline and it helps to get out of the rock and hard place thing.

Answer 10

Try staying away for one another for awhile in the mean time look for someone to help you move out.One step at a timegood luck!