I really hate this guy. In fact, despise him so much, it even hurts me to hear his name. It started when my girlfriend share to rent a house with this guy, who is her best friend. My girlfriend tells me not to worry about it and she still show care and best affection toward me. But I can't help jealous about them sharing house and staying together. Now I think I am having depression and hatred in my mind so much, I can't concentrate on my work, my life. I am starting to hate them both.
Is there anyway to getover this jealousy? Is ignorance the best answer? Go ahead and give advise, whether toward good or bad.
P.S He is not gay.
P.S I am not mentally ill.
2006-08-24 15:01:59 · 18 answers · asked by Zuben D G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
P.S She knows that I am very jealous and I told her many time about this. Am I getting crazy?
2006-08-24 16:29:56 · update #1
You are feeling and reacting perfectly normal to this. I mean, come on! Your girl in the same room with another man besides you. I'm a woman and have never felt comfortable with this "friend" thing in my relationships. Because in actuality, it boiled down to respect. You are not feeling respected and thats where the jealousy comes in. What are you jealous of? That he may get her? If that happens, I know you will leave and find better. Love yourself. Know that you deserve to be respected. Jealousy should not enter in, if you demand to be respected and know that you are a good man whether you are with her or not. As a side question: Why isn't she living with you?
2006-08-24 15:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have several guy friends whom I would consider living with (sharing a house) and I am confident that nothing intimate would ever happen. I suppose your girl is the same way. Believe me.. guys do make better best friends than girls ever thought about being. As hard as it may seem, trust her, get to know him. Include them both in some plans like dinner or a movie, give the guy a chance to show you that he is just a friend to your girl. I can understand your jealousy, but you can control that if you set your mind to it. If you try all of this out and nothing still works, consider having her live with you. You must trust her until she gives you a reason not to trust her. Relationships without trust is not much of a relationship. Good luck.
2006-08-24 22:11:09 · answer #2 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a tough situation. You're not wrong or sick for how you're feeling.
However, you are going to have to make a rough decision. You either decide that you can trust her, or at least that you are going to accept the situation, or you have to get out of the relationship, if she won't do something to change it and ease you of your torments.
Ask her how she would feel on the other side of the equation.
Don't forget that if you have to move on, it's for the best; without a doubt. You can't keep fighting that natural feeling for long without it becoming a worse situation.
Or, ease your mind by spending more time with other girls, and keep getting that piece (not taking it seriously) until you find one that will be considerate of you. That is the main issue; your serious about her; if you stop being serious about her you will be at ease. You just would give a dam, so it won't hurt you.
2006-08-24 22:19:33 · answer #3 · answered by kasar777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you're a guy, and your girlfriend is living with another guy who is just a friend? If I have that info correct i would do this. You can either believe her about the friendship and trust her completely, or if it gets to much to handle like you said, then it has to end. I'm sorry to have to tell you that. I've been there before. Eventually, the guy probably will hit on her at some point. However, the decision IS up to her to allow it. Good luck with your situation, i will pray for you.
2006-08-24 22:07:01 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. Help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is an awful emotion but can be healthy at times also. I like yourself was jealous of a relationship that my fiance had with another male. And much like yourself felt sick when I heard his name. She had told me once that she felt that he was getting kind of stuck on her and then one day we were at an event together and he was taking all these pictures of her without her knowledge. I did not approach him that day, which was probably a big mistake but didn't want to cause a scene. But having a woman live with another member of the opposite sex would involve a lot of trust and understanding. I wish that I could say that I was mature enough that I would be able to handle it. But in all honesty do not think I would agree with it. I would certainly let her know how it makes you feel and be honest about how it is affecting your work and other areas of your life. But to state that your starting to hate them both is not cool. This is suppose to be your girlfriend and to say that is very abusive and harmful to your relationship. Best of luck to you in trying to resolve this issue with your lady.
2006-08-24 22:10:33 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,...you are not mentally ill...but you sound like you are going in that direction. I would probably feel the same way. Here's the cure: move in with your best female friend. Let's see how your g-friend will feel. Don't have one? Work on having one...so you don't obsess on what seems to be something you can't change right now. She doesn't even have to be your best friend....but she should be highly attractive. Look in the papers...maybe someone like that needs a room mate. Good luck.
2006-08-24 22:12:57 · answer #6 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I am an insanely jealous person by nature and if my boyfriend were living with a chick I would lose it.
I am sure everyone will give you the old "trust her, don't be insecure, blah blah" but really, since I know how that jealousy feels, I know it's not that easy!
I hate to say this, but you might have to find a new girlfriend if you dio not see yourself changing. I know it sounds drastic, but just my opinion. Otherwise, you will just be miserable!
2006-08-24 22:06:14 · answer #7 · answered by Miro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's her best friend, you have to respect that. Besides, if you fight about it with her, she's just going to run home and cry on his shoulder. It's best if you just accept it and trust her. Maybe you and the guy can be friends and you can all hang out together. That way, he'll probably grow to like you, be your friend, and not try anything on your girlfriend because of the friendship.
2006-08-24 22:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm you have a problem m8
if it was me in your posission.... i would tell her how you feel..
Lay ur cards on the table.. your either gonna have her dump you.. as she probabbly wont stand for having a jellous bf or she will feel flattered people can live together under the same roof without having a relationship you need to pull your self togther and tell ur self there is nothing going on here
if you can not TRUST her...
2006-08-24 22:13:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm glad to know that you are not mentally ill..lol
But if its causing you so much pain then its not really worth it...or is it?? Only you know how much you can take and if its worth it or not. If you decide to stay...you gotta get over it. If you cant get over it...then move on.
Know its easier said than done..but hey, that's life!
2006-08-24 22:06:24 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋