I am 29 with three kids ages 9,8,2. No drugs or alcohol and currently wrapping up a college education. I consider myself to be good looking, but no one is approaching me for dates , Is it the mommy factor?
2006-08-24 14:58:56 · 59 answers · asked by nene 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey, you just have to find the right guy. He'll come.
2006-08-24 15:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by Love My Soldier 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That might be a factor; few young single men want an instant family. There's also the (legitimate) fear that your ex isn't completely out of the picture -- which, if he is a halfway decent father and still living, he never will be.
All hope is not lost, however. There are some guys out there who aren't thrown by the instant family thing -- my own policy on it (when I was single) was that I would have to love the child(ren) as much as I loved the mother. If other guys think like that, it doesn't make you untouchable, it merely limits your options.
It will help matters if your children know that you want to date and that you will include them in the selection process. It really would be a bad idea to date anyone who didn't get along with your children, no matter how much you like him. Include your kids in social gatherings where you can meet potential dates (you are going to places where you can meet men, right?). If your kids get to like the guy before you start dating him, you'll have less opposition from them.
2006-08-24 15:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by D'archangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not getting dates, and already think that no one wants to marry you - you are way too ahead of the game.
Why don't you start by looking for friends and dates - you'd scare almost everyone off if you're flashing "marry me" all over the place.
Now, exactly where do you think you should be approached for dates? While you're getting gas? At the bar? Set yourself up to find men - Thursday night at the grocery store - strike up a conversation over the melons, you can find out what people are doing over the weekend - make sure you know what events are going on, because then you can casually mention the Tomato Festival in Yonksville, which gives the guy the opening of meeting you there.
2006-08-24 15:05:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure it'll happen. There could be some of the mommy factor. Your first priority should be with your children, but at the same time are you really keeping yourself open for new opportunities and possibilities? Are you looking approachable? Be patient and get your education and a good job. That makes you more attractive.
2006-08-24 15:11:37 · answer #4 · answered by wildstar_2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the mommy factor and them feeling inferior because you seem to be in control of your life. Being a Mom, and going to school is not an easy task to perform. Do yourself and your kids a favor and be the best Mom to them you can be, there will be no regrets about that, and the right man will eventually come into the picture. Good luck! (single Mom for 13 yrs here)
2006-08-24 15:05:17 · answer #5 · answered by mixemup 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not the mommy factor. A 29 year old finishing up college is not in the midst of a ton of people her age. There are some things you might try when you're ready.
2006-08-24 15:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um..I believe someone is out there for you. Just when you aren't looking someone will be right around the corner. but you have those kids...being on your safe guard is a good thing I believe. I wouldn't be worried about your children putting a kink in anything..there are so many men out there that would prefer to have a ready made family..those are the ones you need. If some guy isn't interested in you because of your kids..you or your kids don't need him..Right? So keep with your education..keep smiling..flaunting your kids and wait for the right guy. Ok?! Good Luck!
2006-08-24 15:05:09 · answer #7 · answered by justwonderingwhatever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There will be someone who also wants kids. There are all types of people and anyone who is afraid of the "mommy factor" probably isn't worth it. There is nothing wrong with being a single mom or dating one... It just might take a more mature person to accept one into their lives.
2006-08-24 15:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by Jill 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No,but it definately eliminates the more discriminating guys
out there.I married a wonderful woman with two kids 25 years ago.Ask a friend to be brutilly honest and suggest what you need
for a successful makeover.Then you've got to decide not only will he make a good husband,but also a great STEPfather.
Remember a stepfathers roles should be clearly defined.
HE SHOULD NEVER EVER DO THE DISCIPLINING.
Good Luck!
2006-08-24 15:07:35 · answer #9 · answered by Mark K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as single parents we have a differnt mind set, even if we dont realize it! Our children are our life. It could be the 'mommy factor' as you say. The real question you need to be asking is when will YOU find a man Worthy of your love, and worthy to be a step dad to you kids... He's out there somewhere, at least I hope so anyway
2006-08-24 15:02:33 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a lot of fish in the sea and just because ur a mom with 3 kids doesn't mean anything! I'm sure at lest 20 guys would line up to meet you if u went to the right place!
2006-08-24 15:03:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋